


Smith and Wesson

by curiobi



Category: Dean Smith - Fandom, Dean Winchester - Fandom, SPN, Sam Wesson - Fandom, Sam Winchester - Fandom, Smith and Wesson, Supernatural, Supernatural (TV), Swesson - Fandom, Wincest - Fandom
Genre: All consuming Desire, Anal Sex, BDSM, Dark Sexual Craving, Dark Sexual Obsession, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Intense aggressive Sex, Intense attraction, It's a Terrible Life, M/M, Oral Sex Fetish, Other Surprise Characters from Supernatural! - Freeform, SPN - Freeform, Sexual Domination, Sexual Punishment, Smith and Wesson - Freeform, Soulmates, Spanking, Suit Kink, Supernatural - Freeform, Supernatural Season 4, Swesson, Throw me a little love good people and Please Review if you like what you read ;), Tie Kink, Wincest - Freeform, intense jealousy, oral kink, please give kudos to poor striving writers generously!, sam and dean - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-06
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2017-12-28 13:55:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 76,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/992744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curiobi/pseuds/curiobi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like any true fan who saw the famous Smith and Wesson episode of supernatural I could not help wonder what would have happened if Dean had taken more persuading to quit his job at Sandover and of course what kind of deep sexual situations would have occurred between Dean smith and Sam Wesson. <strong><em>Seriously did you see the freaking way Sam was looking at Dean in the elevator! </em></strong>Naturally, I could only handle so much of that kind of seething sexual tension and leave it unwritten about, so here it is. This story is graphically sexual and for grownups only, ye hath been warned ;)</p><p> <img/>
</p><p> <img/>
</p><p>
  <b><span class="font-sweetcoral">curiobi <strong><span class="font-gold"> @</span><span class="font-green">~</span><span class="font-red">.</span><span class="font-green">~</span><span class="font-gold">@</span></strong></span> </b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Preface: Legal Disclaimers, Mini Art Tour, Synopsis, Characterisation, and Notes

##  ** Smith and Wesson Mini Art Tour **

**Legal Disclaimer:** _I do not own the images displayed in this fan fiction, I just found them on the internet, thank you to whoever created them!_ In addition, I do not own Supernatural... _but a girl can dream!_

**curiobi **@ ~.~@** **

#  ** ************************** **

"Lunch Break"

I saw this picture on the internet and my jaw just about hit the floor, _it certainly helped to inspire the lunch time debauchery chapter in the Smith and Wesson story!_

**curiobi **@ ~.~@** **

#  ** ************************** **

"Mr Smith"

_Oh come on seriously how is Sam supposed to resist all this!_

#  ** ************************** **

"The Morning After"

 "This picture is beautiful at portraying the deep connection between Sam and Dean even when they don't even know who they are

#  ** ************************** **

##  ** Legal Disclaimer for this Fan Fiction  **

_I do not own Supernatural... But a girl can dream, in other words, Kripke owns everything!_ **_**_ALL HAIL THE OVERLORD!! ;)_ ** _ **

##  ** Smith and Wesson Synopsis **

Like any true fan who saw the famous Smith and Wesson episode of supernatural I could not help wonder what would have happened if Dean had taken more persuading to quit his job at Sandover and of course what kind of deep sexual situations would have occurred between Dean smith and Sam Wesson. **_Seriously did you see the freaking way Sam was looking at Dean in the elevator!_**  
Naturally, I could only handle so much of that kind of seething sexual tension and leave it unwritten about, so here it is. This story is graphically sexual and for grownups only, ye hath been warned ;)

##  ** Characterisation For Sam and Dean in “Smith and Wesson” **

This story is set in the 4x17 “It's a terrible life” episode of Supernatural. Dean believes he is a successful corporate suit called Dean Smith, and Sam believes he is a Tech support worker called Sam Wesson. Neither brother has any idea who they really are or that they are even related.

Dean's characterisation in this story is more or less the same as in the episode, Sam's characterisation is deeper however, and is inspired by his mind set in the episodes 3x11 “Mystery Spot” and the horribly famous 3x16 “No rest for the wicked” where Dean is brutally murdered in front of Sam.

The major change in this story is that Dean believes he has been working for Sandover for 6 years instead of 3 weeks as in the episode.

##  ** Notes **

Any notes that are not directly related to specific chapters such as explanations and apologies for delays will be posted here

#  ** ************************** **

Okay, without any further ado I give to you Smith and Wesson! ****


	2. Later that night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
>  This chapter is set immediately after the scene where Dean Smith says _'You don't know me pal, you should go'_ to Sam Wesson, the only difference is that they are at Dean's house not his office.  
>  **curiobi **@ ~.~@** **  
> 

 

 

‘You don’t know any of these people, face it Dean you’re as lost as I am’.

‘You don’t know me pal, you should go’.

Sam turned to leave and then turned back ‘Dean I'm not trying to upset you, I'm just… that ghost, that was _insane_ and we kinda got our asses handed to us before we sent his ass wherever the hell evil corporate ghosts go’.

‘You’re telling me, that crazy evil old barstard smacked me into a wall more than enough times to rattle my brain’.

‘Yeah me too’.

‘Not to mention the freaking bastard tried to zap me in the head with his evil worker bee electrical thing’.

‘I know’.

‘He was pretty freaking tough for an old dead guy’.

Dean looked at Sam and their eyes caught and held, ‘you know for a moment there Sam, when I was sliding down that wall and I was too dazed to move, and the next thing I knew Sandover was standing in front of me with the freak beam out, I really thought I was gone’.

‘Dean you gotta believe me, he moved so fast I couldn’t salt or iron him in time, I mean he was literally near me one second then in front of you the next, I knew the only way to stop him was burning the gloves so I-’

‘Relax Sam I'm not blaming you, you saved my life back there, I mean it Sam, thank you’.

‘Well, I just-, we saved each other Dean, that ghost would have killed us both’.

‘We even saved that other guy, the one in Sandover's office’.

Sam looked away, ‘I couldn’t save that security guard though, ‘before I knew it Sandover made the elevator malfunction and he died right front of me’.

‘Hunting ghosts, chasing monsters, what you want to do is dangerous Sam’. Dean's tone was quiet but firm underlaced with passion ‘its really dangerous _you could be killed’._

‘I know that Dean, it's just, I can't explain it, I just know, deep down, I _know_ that it's what I'm supposed to be doing’.

‘I understand why you want to do something that saves lives Sam, okay, I get it- I just…’ Dean ran his hand over his face and exhaled ‘weird day right?'

‘Right’.

‘Look it's late and we're both wrecked I could use a shower and you could definitely use one, you look like a crime scene. The bathrooms down the hall and to the right’.

‘Thanks Dean, I appreciate it’.

‘Nothing to it, there's fresh towels in the closet next to the bathroom'.

‘Thanks’.

‘Hey er, you wanna... you wanna crash here tonight Sam?’

Sam was stunned, ‘I er, yeah, Dean, thanks. And sorry again for what I said about your life not being real, it was just, you know the adrenaline talking or whatever…’

‘It's okay Sam, seriously we're good, I mean we both got our brains scrambled tonight I shouldn’t have got mad at you for talking crazy’.

‘Is it cool if I borrow something to wear? My clothes are kinda covered in blood’.

Dean laughed ‘dude I don’t think I have anything that can fit you, you're kind of a giant, I think I got a least one pair of sweat pants around here somewhere, they stretch that's the best I can do’.

‘It’s okay, Thanks man’.

When Sam emerged from the bathroom 20 minutes later his damp hair was almost black and plastered all over his face. ‘Errm bathrooms free’ Sam was trying to unsuccessfully rake his hair into submission and was squeezed comically into Dean’s too small clothes, it was quite a sight and Dean couldn’t help smiling. The sweat pants looked painted on and stopped mid shin, while the T-shirt stopped around Sam's navel exposing some _seriously_ toned abs. Dean sighed and wondered if Sam was naturally blessed or if he had to work out like a son of a bitch to achieve that effect.

Well it was alright for Sam, he clearly had the _time_ to hit the health club, while he, on the other hand, practically spent all his time stuck behind a desk. His eyes drifted over to the all but decorative weight machine in the corner of the room as he sighed and took another swig of the master cleanse.

‘I used your mouthwash and shower gel, I hope that’s cool’.

‘Yes, of course it is’. He watched Sam battle his hair for a moment, frowning at the weird feeling of familiarity it suddenly evoked, could this day get any weirder? He sincerely hoped not as he headed for the shower.

When Dean walked showered and changed into the living room, Sam couldn’t help it and started laughing, ‘Are you planning on hitting the town tonight, or are those _seriously_ your chilling out at home clothes?’

Dean gave Sam a look, that should have intimidated him but just made him flash his dimples smiling, Dean scowled at him, and Sam pretended to suddenly be very interested in studying the floor, the slight shake of his mammoth shoulders, however, made it clear he was still laughing.

Dean scowled harder, there was nothing wrong with owning a nice wardrobe, dress to impress was Dean's Smith's motto, this was as casual as it got for him. He could just bet that outside work Sam Wesson was a jeans and flannel shirt type of guy. Hr suppressed a full body shudder at the mere _idea_ of flannel and went into the kitchen for more of the master cleanse. He was _starving_ , this cleanse had better be worth it.

Sam couldn’t stop smiling. Apparently Dean's idea of changing into less corporate wear was a designer dress shirt and designer dress pants, even minus the jacket and tie he pretty much still looked like he was wearing a suit, Sam began to wonder if Dean was the kind of man who came home from work and actually relaxed by changing into a different suit and tie.

Dean came back into the living room taking a huge gulp of the crazy liquid diet he was on, and licked his lips. Sam found he couldn’t stop staring, Dean's eyes, his mouth, everything about him; it was just all so familiar.

Dean sat on the couch and offered Sam a bottle of water, as he had no beer whatsoever, having in his own words ‘got rid of all the carbs in the house’ while he was on his bizarre lemon and maple syrup detox.

Sam felt something nudge in his brain at the way Dean opened his bottle of water for him before handing it to him, familiarity at the gesture, annoyance that Dean always did that as if he couldn’t open his own damn drink even though he was a freaking grown up now, affection that he would never admit to because he knew that Dean would probably always do it, it was automatic to him. Sam's head started to throb painfully, he had only just met Dean what he was thinking didn't make any sense, but then again neither did the dreams he was constantly having about him. Nothing in his life made any sense at the moment.

Sam said nothing about what he was thinking and feeling, he didn’t want to weird Dean out any more than he already had, instead, he just took the open bottle of water from Dean and thanked him as he was again struck with a mental nudge of familiarity when Dean smiled at him. This thing with Dean, whatever it was, it was going to make him crazy if it didn’t start to make sense soon.

**_Sam took a long swig of water wishing it were beer._ **


	3. Ghostfacing

‘So Dean you ever think about what you want to be doing ten years from now?’ Sam asked fixing Dean with that stare that made Dean feel there was some truth to Sam's insistence that he knew him.

‘Yes. Ten years from now I hope to be running this insane asylum and making obscene amounts of profit, you know living the American dream what about you?’

‘I keep thinking I should be corporate like you maybe a lawyer or something but then I know deep down that I'm supposed be stopping ghosts and monsters’.

‘How can you seriously know something like that Sam, doesn't it sound just a little freaking nuts to you when you say it out loud? As Dean’s lips curled into a smile he noticed Sam was just staring at his mouth.

Dean moved a little Sam was staring at him so intently it made him uncomfortable, more so because it felt familiar like he was used to looking into Sam's eyes, like he was used to noticing that Sam's eyes changed colour with his emotions.

Right now they were hot and intense and looked almost as green as Dean’s own but in the short time Dean had known Sam he noticed they changed colour to more hazel brown than green when he became focused and driven as they researched how to fight ghosts, and that they darkened to almost black when he became a door kicking ghost salting warrior as they battled Sandover with iron rods and Sam saved his life.

Dean cleared his throat uncomfortably as Sam just continued to stare at him, when exactly had Sam moved so close to him that their faces were mere inches apart? ‘Um dude, I wouldn’t even let a chick get this close to me and just stare at me like that unless she was offering to make it worth my while’.

‘What, no!’ Sam moved back quickly, ‘it’s not like that I'm just having a hard time with all of this, I'm serious Dean, every time I look at you, _I really do feel like I know you’._

‘It’s okay Sam I'm kidding. Look the longer I'm with you the more I feel like maybe I have seen you around somewhere before as well, but it's not like you’re describing I'm not having any weird dreams about you or anything like that’.

There was a prolonged silence in which Sam tried and failed not to stare at Dean; Sam was starting to feel more than a little freaked out by his behaviour so he could only imagine how Dean had to be feeling and he forced himself to look away pretending once again to find the floor fascinating- only this time he wasn’t laughing.

Sam voice was low as he stared at the floor and mumbled ‘Dean, erm, are you _sure_ you don't mind me crashing here tonight’.

‘No dude, it's fine, besides’ Dean smiled ‘where are you gonna go in that get up anyway? You look like you hulked out or something and got too big for your clothes’.

Dean laughed and Sam felt the tension building up in his shoulders relax a little.

‘Sorry the couch is more for style than comfort I just hope you can fit on it’

Sam was hoping the same thing, ‘it should be cool thanks again man’.

Dean clapped Sam on the back ‘I’ll go get you a blanket and pillow, okay Sammy’.

‘Hey don’t call me-’

Dean headed out of the living room as Sam began objecting to being called Sammy, he turned around as he gulped some more of his weird detox concoction and smiled and winked at Sam. Once again everything seemed so familiar to Sam, his resisting being called Sammy, Dean giving him that maddening look, all of it was like living in a never-ending wheel of déjà vu and it was making Sam nuts.

To make matters even more bizarre, Sam saw Dean in his head _all the time_ and it was getting more intense the more time he spent around him. It wasn't just when he was sleeping anymore, now if he stopped concentrating and mentally drifted off at work he had visions of the two of them slaying monsters together, hunting together, he dreamt about Dean and him fighting side by side every damn night, and now he was day-dreaming about it as well.

But the more time Sam spent around Dean, the more he began to notice the differences between the Dean in his head and one in reality.

The Dean in his dreams and visions was as tough as nails, he drank and swore like a sailor, ate bacon cheeseburgers like they were going out of fashion, dressed like a blue collar worker not a wall street suit, and blasted his eardrums with loud rock music while driving too fast across America in a classic car looking for trouble. He most certainly did not, nor it seemed would ever **_dream_** , of driving a ludicrously expensive politically correct Prius permanently tuned to conservative talk radio.

Everything about the Dean he dreamed about seemed the antithesis of the man who was standing in front of him now handing him a blanket and a pillow and telling him there was nothing in the fridge worth having but there were some decent leftovers in the freezer and he could heat up whatever he wanted.

‘Well, I'm beat Sam I'm going hit the sack see you in the morning okay’.

‘Yeah, thanks again Dean’.

‘Nothing to it man’.

Sam lay back on the couch which barely fit his large frame in it and tried to get some sleep, _but he kept thinking about Dean._

The Dean in his dreams was like a brother to him, and somehow he knew he _should_ feel the same way about the Dean sleeping not far from him, **_but he didn't._**

Sam was starting to worry that the ghost had scrambled his brain and he had not realised until now, otherwise how could he be thinking of a _man_ in this way? He shifted positions and again tried to sleep, but his mind was buzzing with thoughts, and no matter how hard he tried to shut down and go to sleep he couldn’t help thinking about the many other ways that the Dean he dreamed about was different to the one in reality.

Dream-Dean was _bossy_ and ordered Dream-Sam around all the time and it irritated him; however, Sam found disturbingly that when the Real-Dean bossed him around, -although he had no clue as to why-, he secretly liked it.

Then there were the other differences, the Dean in his dreams was always sure of himself and perpetually chasing skirt, in fact, Sam would go so far as to say _that_ Dean was a man-whore. The Dean in reality seemed almost reserved in comparison, not at all the kind of man who drank near a bottle of whisky a day and often woke up under the skirt of the nearest waitress.

The Dean in his dreams and the Dean in reality were equally blessed with the same over the top to the point of being unfair good looks, but there were subtle differences that stopped Dream-Dean from crossing the line into being as pretty as the Dean he knew in reality.

The Dean in his dreams, dressed in rock T-shirts and jeans and had freckles over every inch of his face. The Dean in reality dressed to kill, and had absolutely **_perfect_** skin. Real-Dean was confident yes, but unlike Dream-Dean, he wasn't so cocky it sometimes made you want to punch him.

Sam turned slightly, because the one major difference that was disturbing him more than anything else was the Dean he dreamed about travelling around hunting ghosts with was so close to Dream-Sam, that it made him feel like he knew the Dean in reality, which was crazy and to make matters worse, something told him that Dream-Dean was not supposed to be someone he wanted to...

 _Yep, the ghost had shocked him in the head all right_. He needed to get some sleep.

**He could only hope it would all be better in the morning.**


	4. Cover Up

Sam woke up to see Dean going through what looked like a regiment he never deviated from.

‘Hey, buddy you’re going to be late’.

‘Don’t worry dude, I can get ready in like five minutes, hey erm can I get a ride to work? you can just drop me off a few blocks away so it doesn't look weird’.

Dean frowned ‘why would it look weird, what I can’t give a co-worker a ride to work?’

Sam raised his eyebrows ‘we’re hardly co-workers Dean, I work in a cubicle and you-’

-‘you got less than five minutes’ Dean interrupted as he clapped him on the back.

Sam remembered too late that his work outfit was covered in blood, ‘actually if it's okay can you just drop me off at my place, I gotta get a change of clothes, it’s on the way so it won't make you late or anything’.

Dean nodded.

 

**************************

‘So you actually live here?’

‘Sam looked up at the rundown building ‘well yeah it's just a cheap place I started renting when I got this job’.

‘Yeah well cheap is one thing Sam, but with your next paycheck you may want to think about renting a place that's a step up from here, perhaps a germ infested crack house on the lower east side’.

Sam scowled at Dean who was smiling at him, and he couldn’t help thinking that Dean was beautiful even when he was being a sarcastic jerk like right now, also he was right about the place it wasn't worth the money he was paying to live there, the thing was he couldn’t remember why he had picked a dump like this in the first place, he barely even remembered coming here three weeks ago, there were just large parts of his memories that were a blur, his rental choices being one of them.

His head was starting to pound again, just like it had been since yesterday whenever he tried to remember specific details about things in his own life, and he was starting to feel distinctly unhinged. On the drive over he could barely remember the address of this piece of crap hellhole he apparently lived in and he had misdirected Dean twice.

‘Well I'm not planning on sticking around here so...’ Sam pinched the bridge of his nose and scrunched up his face as his head ached, ‘I guess I'm still a little out of it’ he apologised when he noticed Dean was staring at him, and he could read the concern in Dean's expression, _oh great he was freaking him out again._

Sam paused half in and half out of the car and turned back to Dean ‘Listen… I’ll see you later if that's okay?’

‘Of course it is Sam, swing by the office when you get in and I suggest you get a move on or you're going to be late’.

 _Bossy,_ Sam thought, smiling to himself as he exited the car.

Dean drove off and Sam headed into the little apartment he rented, despite his best efforts it was a dilapidated, mildew infested hole, and it meant less than nothing to him, he didn't even remember renting it. His head ached and he knew he had to get out of there, he changed quickly and then packed a bag, he would get it later, right now he was running late... and he wanted to see Dean, he had to talk to him before he left, he had to see him, maybe even make one last ditch effort to get Dean to come with him.

Sam handed in his resignation and accepted that he would not be receiving his next paycheck as he was refusing to work his notice. He was allowed to clear his desk and told to vacate the premises within fifteen minutes.

As Sam collected his Dracula bobble head and few other possessions from his soul sucking, life draining cubicle he was tempted to smash the thing to bits, _**really tempted.**_ But that was likely to attract security, not to mention probably get him arrested for wilfully destroying company property. _He still wanted to do it anyway,_ for Ian, and Paul and god knew how many other employees who had been driven to suicide by Sandover’s malevolence and greed.

He remembered sitting here at his cubicle researching ghosts and vampires on company time and realised it could so easily have been him microwaving his own head or severing his jugular with a stolen work pencil next if he and Dean had not figured out how to destroy Sandover's ghost. He glanced over at the two men who had replaced Ian and Paul as if they never existed and he just wanted to get the hell out of the place and never look back.

Sam headed upstairs to the floor Dean worked on, _he had to see him before he left,_ no matter what he had to try one last time to convince Dean to come with him. He didn't have the time for subtle so he guessed he was just going to come right out and ask him. He was about to knock on Dean’s office door when it opened and one of the old ‘head honcho’ suits almost collided with him on his way out.

Sam recognised the man, Ian had pointed him out in the lunch canteen two weeks ago saying, ‘don't look now, but you see that man over there the old one in the Grey suit looking over all the little people like a hawk about to strike, he is pretty much the voice of god around here and to be avoided at all costs, you think he ever has to eat canteen food? No, the only reason he comes in here is to pick his next victim for a very humiliating public firing, I think he thinks it keeps the rest of us underlings on our toes’.

Sam tried to remember his name, _Adler_ that was it; since Adler was such a big shot around here he had to know about the security guard who had been decapitated in the elevator he just happened to be in last night. He didn't want to draw any negative attention towards Dean by association so he had to make sure Adler didn’t think that Dean knew him personally.

He was about to say something along the lines of _"Mr. Smith’s computer appears to be malfunctioning and we can't fix the problem online so we thought it best to come up and reboot the system manually"_ or even better _"hello Mr. Adler Sir there's a technical problem with Mr. Smith’s printer but rest assured we will have it fixed immediately"_ , anything to make it look as if his visit to Dean's office was strictly professional, when he noticed Adler was subjecting him to a hawk-eyed stare, his lips curled in distaste as he regarded him as if he were some kind of infection, and the words dried up in his throat as he looked away, and flushed with anger. What the hell was this about? _why was Adler looking at him like that?_

Adler turned back to Dean ‘Big things Dean’, his voice was dripping with smarmy insincerity, 'good stuff'.

‘Big things’ Dean echoed back making Sam grit his teeth because _Dean was so much better than this place._ If he stayed in this soul-sucking hellhole would he eventually become like the rest of the suits around here? Would he turn into one of _**them,**_ a useless white collar criminal who treated everyone beneath him like dirt?

Sam stepped out of Adler's way as he strode past treating him to a look so odious he felt like punching him in his arrogant face. Maybe he was just being paranoid, it wasn’t like Adler knew anything about him and Dean's ghost hunting debut last night, in fact as he thought about it more, it was possible Adler didn’t even know about his or Dean's involvement in anything that had happened last night.

All the electrical equipment in the building including security cameras had been on the fritz thanks to Sandover's ghost, and there had been no one around to witness him being marched into the lift by the security guard who had been killed moments later. When he had arrived at the building this morning he couldn’t help the noticing the elevator was minus a decapitated body and completely spotless.

Come to think of it, no one had mentioned anything about the security guards death, and since gossiping about any and everything was how most of the work day was spent on his floor, and rumours about the company spiking the office water supply with experimental work-performance enhancing substances, or H.R brainwashing or hypnotizing slacker employees who then went nuts and killed themselves were rife after Ian and Paul's bizarre deaths. Even as he'd stood at his cubicle packing up earlier the gossip was spinning wildly out of control with people claiming the recent events at Sandover were the result of everything from MSG additives in Chinese food, to government conspiracies to fix the economy by brainwashing them to work twice as hard for half as much pay even if it literally killed them, what was the likelihood that this new turn of events, featuring a gruesome decapitation no less,would not get so much as a mention? The only likely explanation was that none of the workers knew about it.

Clearly, the security guards death had been covered up. Ian, Paul, and the security guard had all died on company grounds, meaning Sandover was liable in **three** suspicious deaths  _in one week._ Frankly, at this point, they would be crazy **not** to keep it under wraps.

If it wasn’t about his involvement with the security guards death it meant that Adler was looking at him like he was something he found stuck to the bottom of his expensive shoe simply because he could, which brought him right back to his earlier urge to punch Adler in his smug arrogant face. He ran his hand through his hair and tried to calm down, what was the point of getting angry at someone like Adler. The Adler's of this world always looked at those lower on the totem pole as if they were dirt, just insignificant specks of dust that strayed under their feet as they went from one round of corporate golf to another.

The upper-level suits were all the same, trampling over anyone and everyone they could to be the first in line at the all you could steal buffet. Even with half their associates in white collar prison for their _"creative"_ approach to handling clients funds, it didn't change their smug superior attitude one bit. _It was a waste of time even thinking about people like Adler._

Ordinary, decent, hardworking people who like Ian and Paul were being terrorised by the supernatural and had nowhere to turn, those were who he wanted to think about. Someone had to help them, someone had to look out for them, and he knew in his heart both he and Dean could do it.  _He just had to convince Dean._

He was about to knock on Deans open office door when Dean spotted him and told him to come in and close the door.

Sam looked at Dean, _**and everything he wanted to say to him died in his throat.**_


	5. Mr Corporate America

Dean Smith, _Mr. Corporate America,_ utterly beautiful with the sunlight streaming through his office bringing out strands of gold in his hair and illuminating the deep green of his eyes.  Dean Smith with his expensive suit perfectly moulded to him in all the right places and like everything else about Dean it was so frigging perfect he realised it was hopeless. Dean's office, his house, even his frigging stupid car, **_everything_** suddenly seemed to sum up the unbridgeable difference between the life Dean led, and the life he wanted him to lead.

He couldn’t seriously expect Dean to just throw away his high paying career, designer wardrobe, and expensive perks and luxuries to go monster hunting with him. How could he really think someone like Dean would be happy doing menial odd jobs in between hunts to make ends meet?

 _It was never going to happen_ , he had been fooling himself into thinking he could convince Dean to go with him because he wanted it so badly, _because… **he wanted Dean.** _

Sam swallowed the hard lump that suddenly formed in his throat, as he realised he would have to leave _now,_ he couldn’t stay around Dean for another moment, **if he stayed he would weaken** , for the chance to be near Dean he would- _No_. he couldn't allow that to happen, he had had to leave, he had something he _had_ to do, something he was _supposed_ to do… even if he had to do it alone.

…But that was just it, that was the problem _he didn't want to do it alone_ , he wanted Dean to come with him, _he **needed** Dean to come with him,_ he knew in his heart they were supposed to be fighting ghosts together.

Sam nodded as Dean indicated that he needed five minutes. He watched as Dean quickly answered a call and typed information into his computer at phenomenal speed, he watched as Dean took a swig of the weird maple cleanse liquid and licked his perfect lips, and he groaned inwardly, _the monster hunting Dean he dreamed about would rather **die than detox.**_ For whatever reason the universe was playing some kind of cosmic joke with him. The Dean he dreamed about might look exactly like this Dean but they were two **_completely_** different people, it was time for him to face reality and move on.

Like anything that promised to be horribly painful he decided to get it over with as quickly as possible. ‘Look I don’t wanna take up too much of your time I just wanted to say thanks again for last night, I quit today so I wanted to say goodbye as well’.

Dean put the phone down and glared at him, ‘You quit?’

‘Yeah’.

‘Just like that?’

‘Look I meant what I said last night, I'm not supposed to be doing this, I'm supposed to be stopping ghosts, and monsters, I'm supposed to be helping the innocent people out there that are being killed by things the authorities don’t even know about yet alone know how to deal with; now that I know what's out there I know I can help, I've got to at least try Dean.

‘And how exactly are you planning to live while you're chasing ghosts around the entire U.S of A?’

‘Well I thought I could just work odd jobs to make ends meet, as long as I can get by, it doesn't really matter what I do for money it’s not about that’.

‘That's easy for you to say Sam’.

‘No it isn't, it’s just… it’s what I'm _supposed_ to be doing Dean I don’t know how else to describe it’.

‘I envy you I think you're so sure about what you want'. Dean gave a small smile then sighed leaning back in his chair. ‘They offered me a promotion you know’.

‘Um, okay, well congratulations’

‘In eight to ten short years’.

‘ _Those dicks’._

Dean laughed without humour ‘I have been working my ass off for them for Six freaking years and they offer me into the big leagues in another Ten’.

‘You know they don’t want too many young guys at the top right? It makes em’ feel old so they're trying to hold you back until you’re as decrepit fat and bald as they are’ Sam looked Dean over ‘don’t think it’s gonna happen though’.

Dean looked into Sam's eyes, ‘why thank you Sammy’.

‘Again with that!’

Dean didn't know why he liked irritating this guy he barely knew by calling him a name he couldn’t stand _but he did_ , just another thing to add to the general madness in his life ever since this ghost business started. _Well, maybe it was time for the madness to end._

‘Good luck’ Dean stood up to shake hands with Sam.

Sam took Dean's hand in his catcher’s mitt sized one and shook it slowly looking into his eyes.

‘I can’t just up and quit and go with you Sam, _damn it_ stop looking at me like that! Who in their right mind throws away a promising lucrative career to go monster hunting? It's easy for you Sam, your job has little prospects, and quitting was easy for you since you hated your job to begin with.

Sam dropped his hand ‘you hate your job as well Dean, _just_ _admit it’._

Dean sighed, ‘This isn't just job for me Sam it’s a _career, there's a difference._ I have too much time and money invested in this, I can’t just walk away’.

Sam turned to leave.

‘Damit Sam can you just give me some time a week, two, that's all I'm asking’.

Sam tried to ignore the sudden pounding in his chest as he turned and stared at Dean, was he serious, was he really saying what he thought he was saying?

‘Can't you just… work your notice at least and just give me some time to try to process all this, two weeks that’s all I'm asking. Maybe there's something supernatural going on nearby that you could look into while I figure things out, I mean you don’t have to hop state lines this very minute do you?’


	6. Second Thoughts

Sam made his way back down to H.R wondering how exactly Dean had talked him into working his notice when at his rented room he was packed and ready to hit the road.

He suspected those goddamned green eyes and ten-foot lashes of his had more than a little something to do with it, and he cursed himself for an idiot.

Thankfully ‘Mitzy’ as she’d introduced herself to him when he had handed her his resignation effective immediately **_all of 20 minutes ago,_** didn’t start yelling for security when he walked back into her office and asked if he could reconsider his “hasty resignation”. Instead, Mitzy clucked her tongue chidingly at him and invited him to sit down as she drawled ‘Now what am I going to do with you sugar you certainly are a handful!’

Mitzy retrieved his letter of resignation and Sam noticed the name tag on her tight tailored red jacket actually said “Mable”. ‘It's good that you came to your senses honey’, Mitzy-Mable drawled at him, ‘and so quickly too, why I hadn’t even had a chance to file your resignation letter yet', Mitzy leaned forward her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper ‘I’ll tell you what honey why don’t I just go ahead and tear that up for you, and you can go on back down to work’. don’t you worry none sugar’ Mitzy winked at him ‘I won't tell anyone about your little moment of madness, we all have days when we just can't stand our job, course most of us ain't plumb crazy enough to just up and quit in between paychecks, you must have been having a terrible day sugar!’

‘Thank you Mab-er I mean Mitzy I appreciate that I really do, but the thing is I'm still leaving I… um, just not leaving right now.

Mitzy’s brows raised, ‘You sure about it this time sugar? Y’all not gonna come bursting back into my office in another 20 minutes changing your mind again?’

‘No’.

‘Y’all better be sure now sugar because once I file this form and the higher ups see it, darlin that is it, not even god could get you your job back then’.

‘I know, I'm not gonna change my mind again, it's just like you said, it was crazy to quit in between paychecks’. Mitzy eye-balled him for a minute, probably trying to decide whether he was crazy or not, and he tried his best to appear calm and rational like he knew what he was doing when the complete opposite was true.

‘Alright listen sugar, because I just can't resist a cute guy when he's begging, how’s about we do this-, you just fill out a standard notice to quit form, and I’ll go ahead and file that and tear up the resignation letter effective immediately and nobody ever has to know about it okay?’

‘Yes! Perfect, thank you so much’ Mitzy treated him to a 100 mega-watt smile and handed him a pen and standard official notice form which he filled in quickly.

‘There’ Mitzy exclaimed taking the form, ‘all done, now you can at least work your notice and get your pay for the last month, and you can even get a decent reference if you play your cards right. Honestly sugar, what were you thinking just up and quitting like that? Did y’all have another job lined up, something that paid stupid amounts of money and fell through at the very last second or something?’

‘No, I um, I just… no, I didn’t have another job lined up’.

Mitzy gasped which expanded up her ample chest and his eyes were involuntarily drawn there for a second as she made a production of pretending not to notice, ‘Sugar a job, any job in this economy is not worth quitting unless you got a few hundred thou stashed in the bank, and Honey, which of us has that?!’

He couldn’t really argue with that logic, and he wasn’t about to tell Mitzy the real reason he was quitting, so he just smiled and nodded.

Mitzy leaned forward treating him to another view of her ample cleavage as she whispered ‘sugar you are so lucky to have met me today, if my co-worker was here he would have had you, signed, out of this here office, and escorted out of the building by security before you could even say, “I quit”. I at least gave y’all 15 minutes to get your stuff together and leave on your own, good thing that I did to sugar because you came to your senses in that time, and not a moment too soon, I was about to file this digitally before I filed the actual paper see’ Mitzy tapped her computer screen, ‘once I’d hit send that would have been it’.

Sam nodded and tried to look interested and grateful at the same time, while again cursing Dean's powers of persuasion as he watched Mitzy confirm his status as a Sandover employee on the computer instead of deleting it.

‘You know sugar I'm glad you're sticking around a little longer’ Mitzy winked at him ‘you would have been sourly missed around here handsome’. Sam's brows rose because it was news to him that anybody other than Dean even knew he was alive in this place, he was just another faceless, nameless, tech support worker.

‘I for one would miss seeing you bending over the water cooler in those tight pants, and I'm not the only one sugar’. Wait- **_what the hell was this now?_** He smiled politely at Mitzy, because what could he really say to that, and thanked her for everything she had done for him.

**************************

Sam felt his heart sinking into his boots as he slouched back to his soul-sucking cubicle in a borrowed (hideous) banana yellow work shirt that was at least two sizes too small for him. Mitzy/Mable had rustled it up from somewhere, while telling him that since his resignation from had been shredded he was still officially a Sandover employee, meaning he was currently on the clock, out of uniform, and plain absent from his station! ‘Don’t worry you can go on and change here’ she’d husked at him as she handed him the work shirt, ‘then you can just scoot on back to your desk and no one will be any the wiser. Oh and don’t worry sugar I won't look’. When he'd pulled the work shirt over his head however, he found Mitzy was standing right in front of him _having a good look_. ‘mmm mmm mmm, they do breed em big where you're from sugar’, she’d drawled taking his hand and pressing a small card into his palm, ‘now you be sure and call me anytime sugar’.

He turned over Mitzy’s number in his hand as he sat at his cubicle desperately fighting the urge to set fire to it, telling himself that arson just wasn’t the solution it seemed to be.

Mitzy/Mable was a knock out there was no denying it, he crumpled the card it in his fist throwing it in the trash bin under his desk, but he just wasn't interested; no, he was riddled with a man crush so bad he was back at a job he hated just so he could be in the same building as Dean, and try hopelessly to talk him into running away from his safe privileged little world to hunt down things that wanted to kill him...

**_Sam's forehead hit the desk with a small thump as the tech support phone started ringing._ **

**************************

Sam headed into the elevator, the day had been so suffocating he really wished he had smashed up his cubicle **_just so he had somewhere else to sit!_** Preferably, in one of the lucky cubicles that got a _hint_ off the air conditioning that was permanently set at the bare minimum lest the cubicle grunts get the idea they were special enough to warrant the use of cool air. Of course if he had smashed up his stupid, stifling, torture cubicle like he'd wanted the only place he was likely to be sitting now was a jail cell and air conditioning would be the least of his problems then.

He trudged into the elevator and noticed Dean at the far end as he tried and failed to suppress the intense rush he felt just from seeing him. The elevator was packed with corporate suits, and since there was no non-gossip worthy reason why he and Dean should be on a first name basis he studiously ignored Dean until the other passengers departed and they were alone.

‘Hey’.

‘Hey?’ Dean snapped, ‘you couldn’t have said that before? You just stood there staring at me like a giant creepy-’

‘-I didn't think you would want people to know you knew me’.

‘Why not? What is it with you and that? What are you like the bad seed around here or something?’

Sam laughed showing his dimples ‘no it’s nothing like that, it’s just, I'm cubicle guy, and you’re a suit, I mean you should have seen the way your boss looked at me when I went to your office earlier like I was a bacteria or something’.

‘Don’t take it personally, he looks at everyone like that, you know it was six years, honest to god six years before he stopped looking at me like I was something to avoid stepping in’.

‘I thought you said you'd been working here six years’.

‘ _Exactly;_ he stopped just before you came to my office today and offered me the promotion’.

‘In Eight to Ten years’.

 _‘ **Short**_ years’.

Sam laughed and shook his head ‘ **dicks’.**

_‘Right’._

‘So how does he look at you now?’

‘Like I'm someone that might go golfing with him in the next decade’.

‘Is that better?’

‘No, I swear it’s actually worse’.

Sam was laughing when the elevator suddenly jolted hard enough to throw him forward so hard he crashed into Dean as the elevator came to a rough grinding halt.


	7. In case of emergencies DO NOT USE THE ELEVATOR'S

Sam didn't have to see that the doors were still shut or the elevator floor lights were showing them as being on two different floors at once to know this had all gone to hell in a hand basket. ‘Not again, last time it was a ghost, this time I think it’s just plain bad luc- hey Dean are you alright?’

Dean’s golden skin looked a shade grey and he was sucking in air too fast, his face filled with barely suppressed panic. ‘... Dude are you…’ Sam narrowed his eyes and studied Dean’s face ‘please tell me you're not claustrophobic’.

 _ **‘Don’t say it out loud’**_ , Dean hissed as if not saying it would make all the difference as he pressed the floor buttons frantically then hammered on the door.

‘We're stuck between floors Dean, the doors won’t open unless were stupid enough to pry them apart and wriggle through _and I've seen how that ends so we won't be doing that'._

‘Okay, your right, I'm fine. Dean began pacing the elevator, ‘It’s just a little warm in here. That’s all. Hard to breathe’, he choked out taking rapid breaths, his words tripping over each other, ‘Got to get some air. There's no air in here. Just got to get the doors open. Then we can breathe. Can't… can't… breathe-’

‘-Dean you're going to hyperventilate, _**Calm down’**_ **.**

‘Okay. Okay. I'm calm’. Dean suddenly lunged for the elevator doors and tried to pry them open with his fingers. Horrible memories of the blood filled massacre that had occurred in the elevator just last night raced into the front of Sam's mind and he forcibly pulled Dean away.

‘ _ **Do not,** mess with the doors Dean_, the last guy who did that was decapitated right in front of me’.

‘That was the ghost Sam, _the ghost_ , we sent him packing already, this is just a malfunction, and we have to get out before we run out of air’.

Sam held Dean back as he once again tried to lunge for the doors. _‘you're not thinking straight,_ and I'm not going to let you anywhere near those doors, so you can just forget it. _Calm down and think Dean,_ think about the amount of people that have committed suicide around here, this place is probably teaming with ghosts, this could be another haunting’. Dean struggled blindly against him and he held him tighter, ‘damit Dean, **_listen to me_ ,** you can't force the doors open and climb out between floors, _it's too damn risky’._

‘Hey’ a voice rang out, ‘everybody okay in there?’

Dean lunged for the speaker in the control panel of the elevator pressing the communication panel and barking ‘get me out of here _**now** ’_.

‘Just relax we have someone working on it, it’s just going to take a while because the guy who usually deals with this is out of town so we had to call in someone else’.

‘How long is a while?’ Dean bellowed.

‘An hour at least until he can get here then however long it takes him to fix the problem’.

‘No, no way, I can't stay in here for an hour’.

‘Sorry man’ the voice whistled through the speaker ‘there's nothing I can do’.

‘That’s not good enough!’ Dean snapped.

‘Like I s… theirs… no… I …n … do-’

The voice coming into the elevator was suddenly disjointed and crackled with static as the elevator lights began to flicker. Sam tensed then deliberately breathed out slowly, relieved when his breath did not come out frozen, there was no chill in the air either- in fact it was stiflingly hot, so the static and the flickering lights had to be part of a non-ghost related electrical problem, _**of course that wasn't entirely comforting either.**_

‘He gets here when h.. ge… he…, look I'm hav… troub ...jus.. han... in... there…an-’

_**Click.** _

‘Goddamit’ Dean shouted banging on the panel, _‘this cannot be happening._ He raked his hands through his perfectly quaffed hair messing it up, ‘well there's no way I'm just going to stay in here and suffocate, I'm getting out’. Dean began searching the elevator, banging on the walls and listening as if one of the elevator walls had a secret door.

Sam stared at Dean like he was crazy. ‘Dean I want you to listen to me’ he spoke very slowly trying to get Dean to calm down and see reason. ‘We are in a locked elevator, there's nothing we can do until the engineer gets us out. Now you _need_ to calm down. You heard the man it will take one hour for him to get here tops then all he has to do is start this thing up again and we’re out of here. You just have to try to sit tight and stay calm until then okay, do you think you can do that Dean?’

Dean didn’t appear to be listening as his eyes locked on a point above Sam's head. ‘That’s it, there's a panel, I can probably get out there easy and just climb on top of this thing and jump to the-’

‘-What the hell are you talking about?’

‘Come on Sam that's the way out, I'm going through the ceiling, you follow me’.

‘To do what’ Sam exclaimed, ‘shimmy up the elevator cables? _Are you nuts?’_

‘Maybe’, Dean’s green eyes were wide _and filled to the brim with crazy’,_ but it's better than staying in here waiting to suffocate to death, give me a leg up will you’.

‘No, Dean this is crazy, you have no idea what's up there and neither do I, this isn't the movies, trying to escape through that hatch will probably get you killed’.

‘ _You don’t know that’._

‘Look, I'm not helping you commit suicide; there’s been more than enough of that in this building already’.

Dean started breathing harder working himself up to full panic mode, and he was wondering what to do to help him when suddenly without warning Dean charged the wall and tried to run up it. In a lightning fast move he caught Dean as he crashed to the floor, grabbed the front of his jacket, hauled him up, and slammed him against the wall; suddenly they were their both breathing fast, and their faces were inches apart. Dean stopped struggling as their eyes locked and as he stared down into Dean's eyes he got _**instantly hard**_. ...Why was he... _they were in the middle of a crisis, it was hardly the time or place,_ ** _what the hell was wrong with him?_**

Sam took a deep breath and tried to calm down releasing his grip on Dean, and taking a much-needed step back, but Dean immediately went back into panic mode, rushing to the elevator doors desperately trying to pry them open again.

Sickening images assailed Sam of the security guards blood sprayed all over the elevator, his decapitated body twitching until his nerves finally died. _If he didn’t do something the same thing would happen to Dean,_ it would be Dean's lifeless body lying in front of him, _**it would be Dean's blood coating his face and clothes.**_

 _ **NO!** No matter what, he wasn’t going to let the same thing happen to Dean._ Sam grabbed Dean's shoulder, spinning him around so he was between him and the elevator doors. ‘I'm not going to let you do it’ he growled forcibly back walking Dean to the furthest corner of the elevator and shoving him hard up against the wall, seething with frustration,‘ _do you hear me Dean_ , **I'm not going to let you’.**

Dean tried to run for the doors again and Sam slammed him back into the elevator wall hard enough to force the air from his lungs, and before he could react Sam was kissing him hot and rough.

Sam didn't know who was more shocked when he kissed Dean hard on the mouth, he had been intending to yell some sense into him, and if that failed he meant to keep him trapped in the corner until the engineer arrived, hell he was even prepared to punch Dean out as an absolute last resort, but instead he had kissed him hard and angry.

‘Sam what the hell are you-‘

-Sam didn't let Dean finish, kissing him deep and intense, unable to fight the feeling that this was what he had wanted to do since the moment he first saw him in the elevator just a few days ago.

‘Listen I told you, I'm not into-’

‘-Neither am I’.

‘ _Really,_ I gotta say right now I'm not convinced’.

Sam used his larger frame to pin Dean to the wall murmuring ‘never before, just you’.

‘Yeah, _sure’_.

‘I mean it’ Sam's voice lowered as he held Dean’s shoulders and bent his head to nibble at his jaw, ‘there's just something about you’. Sam kissed Dean again long and hard regretting that he had to stop for something as stupid as air, ‘you have to be one of the most beautiful-’

‘- _ **Oh come on!’**_ Dean barked incredulous ‘who says that to another dude, does using lines like that ever actually work for you?’

Sam's eyes were dark and burning into his, ‘I don’t, I've never, _it's not a line.’_ Sam kissed Dean again harder, longer, and rougher than before, and when he realised Dean was kissing him back instead of just standing there passively he went from hard to **_painfully_** hard.

It had to be the adrenaline, Dean thought, that was why he was trembling, because there was no way he was getting hot over this damn giant manhandling him like he was some hysterical chick in a movie that had to be kissed into submission before she flung herself out of the elevator.

‘Dean’ Sam murmured in his ear.

‘Hey hey just stop now’ he barked as Sam started pulling at his shirt ‘They’re coming to get us out of here any moment, and how’s it going to look when they open the door and you’re trying to undress me?’

Sam actually picked him up like he was a freaking girl and pushed him hard into the wall, _**he wasn't even listening.**_

‘Dean’ Sam murmured again as if saying his name explained everything. If this craziness was really happening then why, Dean asked himself, wasn't he the one taking charge? He was pretty sure he had a few years on this overgrown kid, and he was a boss, _he gave orders all day long_ … But then _maybe that was the problem,_ he gave orders all day long and everybody even upper management sucked up to him, but only because they needed him to handle clients that didn’t trust the company's senior investors anymore, _and rightfully so._ Time after time clients requested that he handle their finances and close deals, yet upper management got all the credit for his hard work, _and he was left climbing the corporate ladder in eight to ten frigging years._

Sam was becoming more aggressive kissing a hot trail across his throat and Dean stood on the precipice, Everything he had worked so hard for, and for what? Sam was right, _**he was lost**_ , empty inside, fed up with his life, what was the point, _**what was he doing it all for?**_

‘I want you’ Sam whispered in his ear, dragging him out of his thoughts and right into the moment, but as he was about to object to things going any further Sam pulled him into another intense searing kiss.


	8. Lust in an Elevator

Dean was addictive there was no other word for it, he had been dreaming about him before he even met him, but perhaps it was because he had seen Dean around the office before and wanted him like he wanted him now, maybe he hadn't been able to deal with what wanting him actually meant, and his overactive imagination had come up with a scenario for his dreams that his subconscious labelled less gay, _maybe it was pure coincidence that an **actual** ghost had shown up…_ He didn't care anymore, Ghosts were real and he intended to start hunting them and anything else that needed hunting; and **_Dean was coming with him_**.

He had never thought it possible to be turned on so hard and fast by just kissing, then Dean started kissing him back, and he suddenly felt like he was going to explode if he didn’t do something fast.

Dean couldn't believe he was kissing Sam and running his hands through his hair, which was so soft he wondered if Sam secretly used some girly conditioner to get it like that, and for a moment it was like he **_knew_** that about him, that he had always had soft girly hair, and it had been something he teased him about yet secretly used to find comfort in when he hugged him, **_great_** _more things that made no sense._

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Sam getting more aggressive, stripping him of his shirt and stepping back to quickly pull off his own hideous banana polo shirt, tossing it to the floor, which drew his eyes to Sam's impressive torso as Sam moved closer, pressing him up hard against the wall and kissing him until he couldn’t think straight… _Sam **really** knew how to kiss_ , and he was expertly touching him in all the right places to get him moaning embarrassingly loud.

Sam kissed his way down Dean's neck, inexplicably knowing where Dean liked to be touched. Dean seemed less sure about where to touch him, so he pulled his hands down to where he wanted them. ‘Unbuckle me’ he commanded his hands travelling down Dean's beautiful naked torso to his waist where he made short work of his belt. Dean visibly tensed as he removed his belt and Sam suddenly knew that Dean was not going to be able to go ahead with this willingly, that he didn’t know how to submit without something to make him feel like his choice was being taken away from him. He instinctively knew that dean didn't know how to surrender control otherwise.

Sam's eyes narrowed as he used Dean’s belt to tie his wrists together quickly, Dean struggled but he was stronger and pinned both his hands above his head in just one of his large hands ‘ _this is going to happen’_ he breathed dipping his head to bite at Dean’s neck, he knew that got Dean going, he knew he liked that, he still didn't know _how_ he knew, but at this point he didn't care any more **_he was just glad he did_** as he ran his large hands over his bare chest. Dean's pale skin was warm and flawless, and while not as muscle-bound as him, Dean was still impressively cut, all beautiful creamy skin over compact muscle, why in the world did Dean think he needed to diet? He didn’t have a spare ounce of fat on him.

‘You really are beautiful’ he whispered unbuttoning himself one handed, removing his own belt, and quickly forcing Dean further into the corner of the elevator, stretching his arms as high above his head as they could go as he looped his belt through Dean's where it was binding his wrists together, buckling the end of his own belt around the mounted security camera pole just below the elevator ceiling.

Dean looked so enticing with his body stretched out on display and his arms bound above his head that he could only stare for a moment before raw lust took over as he moved closer moulding his body to Dean, while reaching up high above his head and pulling the connection wire out of the back of the camera.

 _The communication panel was fried. The camera was disconnected. **They were completely isolated,**_ and being skin to skin with Dean was sending tiny bolts of sharp pleasure through his body at an alarming rate as he stared intently into Dean's eyes for a moment, running his large hand slowly over Dean's face and tilting his chin up while lowering his lips to his and tasting him slowly.

The instant Dean moaned softly kissing him back things blazed out of control, searing hot lust burning into his skin, as if Dean was a fire and he wanted to burn up inside him. ‘I want you so badly’ Sam groaned his hands travelling hot and feverish over Dean's body, his mouth following everywhere his hands touched, biting and licking until Dean was breathing hard and twisting against his restraints.

‘I want to do so many things to you Dean’, Sam's breath came faster, his blood searing with heat as he twisted the tie around gripping it in his large fist using it to tilt Dean’s head back, using the tie like a submission collar while running his tongue up his neck and biting his ear darkly whispering ‘I want to taste you, I want to make you come’.

Sam quickly stripped away their remaining clothes, leaving Dean's tie on as he kissed him while pressing their hot naked bodies together, and rubbing his hard cock up against him, ‘you should see how sexy you look bound with leather belts and wearing nothing but your expensive silk tie Dean’.

Dean’s beautiful green eyes were closed and his expression was smouldering hot, his long lashes sweeping down, small gasping sounds escaping his beautiful lips, and faint colour staining his cheeks, _he looked completely **innocent**_ , nothing like the commanding boss, and consummate master of efficiency that Sam had come to know. This was a completely new side to Dean **_and he liked it_. ** To have Dean like this, to have got him to this state turned him on so much he had to rein himself in, because seeing Dean like this, made him want to fuck him until his throat was raw with his own screams of pleasure, and he was begging him to stop and go on at the same time.

Sam cursed under his breath he didn’t have a lot of time and not just because a repair-man was on the way, _he couldn’t take much more of this,_ Dean was sexy on a level that there were no words to describe, and he was so hard for him he was in danger of coming before he even started.

He ran his tongue all over Dean's chest, kissing noisily and biting making Dean cry out and struggle harder against his restraints as he licked a swift hot path downwards and crouched in front of Dean gripping his cock which just like the rest of him was utterly beautiful.

Dean was large and had the same flawless creamy skin on his cock as he did everywhere else, he was cut and had deep ruby glans that were just begging to be kissed, and he did just that making Dean jolt hard against his restraints, as he kissed along his perfect length and took him in his mouth even though to the best of his knowledge he'd never sucked a cock in his life before.

Dean’s head fell back and he gasped out ‘oh Sam, oh Sammy’ and for once he _liked_ it, He didn’t know why, but when Dean called him ‘Sammy’ it made him feel special.

He seemed to instinctively know what Dean liked, that he liked to be licked as well as sucked and that he ultimately liked both at the same time. He didn't know how to do it exactly so he sucked and then licked until he figured out how to do both simultaneously. It was difficult to suck, lick, and breathe at the same time, and he suddenly understood why women complained that it was called a blow ** _job_** for a reason, but in that moment he also knew why they did it anyway, it was about the other person’s **_reactions_**.

‘Oh god, oh please Sammy _please_ ’

Dean _boss_ Dean was actually **_begging_**  and whimpering incoherently as he sucked him harder,  Dean's reactions getting him so hard he reached down to stroke himself stopping almost immediately, as he realised he wouldn’t last if he continued to touch himself, the tip of his cock was wet, weeping pre-come and when he glanced down at it, it was so hard and red and angry looking he barely recognised it as belonging to him.

Sam concentrated on Dean rather than his own violent state of arousal, teasing and licking Dean and then biting him, as Dean yelled out ‘oh fuck, oh fuck, oh **please** Sam oh yes yes’ as he came hard, obscenities and pleading rambling incoherently from his beautiful lips, his expression wide-eyed and almost innocent, their eyes locking as he sucked Dean hard deliberately swallowing him down.

Dean was writhing and begging and Sam couldn’t believe he was doing much less enjoying something like this, but he'd wanted to taste Dean, he couldn't resist him, and Dean tasted so _good_ , his skin smelled like expensive cologne, and tasted like expensive body lotion, but his essence tasted sweet as he let Dean's still hard length slip from his mouth kissing him from base to tip, and running his tongue along him over and over, until Dean over-sensitised and shuddering violently was begging him to stop.

Maybe it was that damn maple syrup cleanse thing but Dean tasted **_so sweet_** as he licked him clean that he couldn't resist telling him how good he tasted how much he wanted more. Dean’s knees buckled and he moved fast, rising to his full height and catching him, Picking him up by his thighs and spreading them so he could stand in between them moulding their bodies together chest to groin, rubbing his hardness over Dean's as he kissed the side of his neck.

Kissing Dean, tying him up, stroking him, licking and sucking him until he moaned his name over and over had him close, _he couldn't wait any more,_ ‘I'm going to fuck you now’ he breathed in Dean's ear ‘I want you to try to take all of it okay’.

Dean’s eyes were wide and so green Sam had to stop himself from getting lost in them, the painful ache in his cock as he rubbed himself up against Dean intensified, and he couldn’t suppress the violent tremor that shook his body or the harsh groan that escaped his lips.

With Dean tied to the ceiling camera mount and pressed hard into the wall by his large body he was able to hold Dean up with one arm tight around his waist, while reaching down between their bodies and taking himself in hand, lust, desire, and need racing him He wanted Dean to touch his cock, _but that would mean untying his hands_. He wanted him to kiss it and lick it and suck it, **_he wanted Dean's beautiful mouth on him so badly_** , but the thought alone was more than he could take, if Dean blew him it would finish him, and he wanted to be inside Dean when that happened, _he couldn’t wait any longer._ ‘Lick it’ he commanded putting his large hand over Dean’s mouth ‘get my palm and fingers good and wet, _do it’_.

Dean licked obediently. ‘that's it, that's good’ he growled as the ache in his cock went from painful to unbearable, because fuck! **_Dean doing what he was told was making him so crazy he was taking deep rapid breaths through clenched teeth._**

He locked eyes with Dean as he transferred the wetness from Dean’s mouth to his cock, his eyes slamming shut **_because Dean had him so worked up_** just the mere contact of his own hand was pushing him dangerously close to the edge. ‘Fuck’ he seethed breathing in hard for control, _he had to slow this down_ or it was going to be over before it started. He locked eyes with Dean again then leaned in and traced the shape of Dean's lips with his tongue, they were so beautiful, **_so perfect,_** like they were sculpted by a great artist, and he couldn’t get enough of them as he kissed Dean hard, trying to take a few moments to try to calm himself down, but his cock felt so hot it was like it was burning off the moisture he had just put on it, he glanced down at himself briefly then licked his palm and transferred the fluid, and Dean kissed his forehead just by his hairline mumbling something that sounded like "Sammy" and déjà vu washed over him, and he fought to ignore it, because he didn’t want to think about the strangeness right now, he just wanted Dean, **_now_** , nothing else mattered.

He smeared some of the wetness steadily weeping from his painfully engorged tip to lubricate himself, then pushed three of his fingers from the same hand into Dean’s mouth ‘suck them’ he commanded.

Dean took all three of his fingers into his beautiful mouth and sucked on them using his tongue to lick them, wetting them as he'd instructed, and his eyes narrowed because Dean was tasting him, and his eyes were sliding shut, _and he was moaning as if he **liked the taste.**_

‘Enough’ he said roughly trying and failing to breathe slowly while counting backwards as he fought for control, ‘Do you have any idea what the fuck you're doing to me?’ his voice was low and savage even to his own ears as he pressed up against Dean, spreading him with his large hands, using his wet fingers to open him while biting on his lobe the way he knew he liked. ‘Have you ever taken it in this tight pretty ass of yours before Dean?’

‘No’ Dean whimpered.

‘Never?’

‘No.’

‘I'm your first?, **_I like that.’_** he ground out lust making his voice rough and disjointed, ‘I really like it, makes me so fucking horny for you’, he bit a little harder on Dean's earlobe to distract him from the inevitable pain as he gripped his cock and positioned himself ‘are you ready?’

Dean shook his head.

‘I think you are’ he crooned darkly kissing and biting his earlobe ‘I think you need this as much as I do, _and you have no idea how much I need this,_ I'm going to do it now’. His memory was still sketchy, he couldn’t remember anything about past lovers he might have done this with, all he had to go on was Common sense that told him it was best if he worked it in slowly, however, it was easier said than done. Dean was driving him crazy, and the sounds he was making as he pushed into him were so indescribably hot it almost made him come, even though he could barely get his engorged tip past the tight ring of muscle. Fuck! **_oh fuck_ ,** Dean was **_scorching_** hot inside, and he couldn't hold still, he had to _move **now!**_ He eyes squeezed shut with the restraint of taking it slow, and Dean cried out at the top of his lungs as he pushed inside him harder, clamping his hand over Dean's mouth and muffling his cries. Dean was struggling against him, the motions heightening the already unbearable sensations around his tip making him moan desperately because he was going to come any second, there was nothing he could do about it, he had to stop, he gritted his teeth and tried to pull back but Dean was clamped so tight around him any movement back or forward would bring him to the brink, _not yet not yet just hold off!_ he thought desperately forcing himself to slow down, rubbing his cheek in Dean's soft hair as he towered over him their bodies pressing together tightly as he ran his large hands down Dean's back cupping his ass and spreading him wider, ‘ **don’t fight me** ’ he growled, kissing the side of Dean's neck and biting sharply, as his hips surged forward.


	9. Lust in an Elevator 2

Dean's eyes were clamped shut, his expression saying pain not pleasure as Sam slowed down, tightening his grip over Dean's mouth and muting his cries while pushing into him harder until he was slowly penetrating him a fraction more.

The restraint of going slow was driving Sam to the limits of his control, and he replaced his hand over Dean's mouth with his lips and tongue, so he could lick at Dean's beautiful lower lip, kiss him hard, and swallow his cries as he slowly pushed into him. 'So fucking tight' he growled while kissing his way across his cheek and jaw, his lips travelling down to his neck where he bit down hard to distract him from the pain as he used his fingers to try to spread him open further while slowly moving forward inside him.

‘This is driving me crazy’ he growled in Dean’s ear, ‘you have to take more of me, **_I need you to take it all’_.**

Dean made a sound between a desperate whimper and a growl of pain as he finally took everything he had, and it was maybe the most perfect moment of his life so far as he held Dean tight against him, as deep inside his body as he could get.

Dean was so hot inside he could feel the scorching heat where his balls were pressed up against his ass, and his cock was being tortured inside him as Dean twisted and cried out as if it was too much for him to take. He could hear his own heart pounding in his ears as he desperately tried to stay still until Dean stopped struggling against him, trying to give him the time he needed to adjust to him, but a few moments were all he could manage before his body started moving of its own accord, his mind completely losing the battle for control, as he pulled back and surged into him, driving all the way home.

Dean was moaning desperately into his shoulder, as he held him up and thrust into him, and it tipped him violently over the edge, ‘I'm not gonna last Dean’ he bit out savagely ‘so good, **_you're so fucking good’._**

Dean moaned his name and he grasped his collar-tie using it to tilt his head back so he could kiss his beautiful mouth. kissing Dean while fucking him snapped whatever control he had left, and he swiftly lost the ability to go slow or be gentle, growling low in his throat as he hoisted him up higher, holding his thighs around his waist and pressing him back hard into the elevator wall as he started pounding into him.

 _Sam was being merciless,_ it was too much to take _,_ and Dean threw pride out of the window begging him to stop, _but Sam wasn't listening_ , and the urge to scream tore at his throat and became unbearable as Sam pounded into him, growling in his ear how much he liked it, how good it felt.

Dean was crying out with every thrust and he kissed him again, swallowing his cries and moans until it drove him crazy.

Sam suddenly started thrusting into him even deeper and harder, and he broke the kiss crying out long and hard, pain and pleasure battling inside him as he again begged Sam to slow down.

Sam surged into him even harder, keeping his cock painfully deep as he moved inside him, the upwards momentum bringing the base of Sam's throat to his lips, and he bit down, until he broke skin, **_until he drew blood_** in an effort to make him stop, but it only served to make him growl louder, pulling back and pounding into him harder and faster, and his last coherent thought as he lost the battle not to scream was _Sam **liked** being bitten._

His blood was pounding in his ears and he was sweating hard as he tried to control his inexplicably violent sexual reaction to the pain of Dean's sharp teeth slicing into him, the pain making him feel even more crazed as he seized Dean's short hair in his fist, pulling his head back and devouring his throat, pleasure spiking through him at having driven Dean to the point where he was biting him to stop himself crying out.

Dean tried again to slow Sam down, he was being too rough, he was hurting him, but as his mind screamed at him to make Sam **_stop_** _;_ his body inexplicably suddenly went into overdrive and began responding to the pain against his will.

Sam felt Dean hardening and ground his erection between their hard muscled stomach's, smearing pre-come over them both, ‘Yes that's it’ he growled his breath hot in Dean's ear, his words fast and tripping over each other, ‘want you to come again while I'm fucking you, want to feel it, need to know I can make you come just by doing this to you, _just by fucking you hard'._

Pain and pleasure warred though Dean as Sam gripped him painfully hard his violent thrusting suddenly hitting a spot inside him he didn't even know he had, making him cry out desperately loud with every thrust, black stars dancing behind his eyes, as he was pleading and mumbling and begging incoherently because it was too much, **_too much,_** Sam had to stop, he couldn’t take it, he was stretched out to breaking point, alive with pain and pleasure, as some emotional well, some dam he didn’t even know he had inside of him burst, and he was coming, coming so hard he was shuddering and spasming his body racked with violent jolts of pain and pleasure,

‘Yes, god, Dean, so beautiful coming for me, feel so good around my cock, squeezing me so tight, tell me you like it, **_tell me you like me fucking you’._** Heat slammed into Sam, sizzling violently through his body, his thrusts fast rough and erratic as he moaned, ‘ _I can’t take anymore_ , you're gonna make me come Dean, I'm gonna come so hard in you **I'm gonna** **mark you forever’**.

Dean could feel Sam getting even bigger and harder his strong body bucking violently into him as he rammed into him brutally hard, spurting jet after jet of liquid heat inside him, growling and roaring his pleasure, as he rammed into him so hard the elevator wall shook, stinging pain and searing ecstasy burning through him as his body was swiftly pushed past its limits and he couldn’t take anymore, ‘too much’ he moaned desperately ‘I can't, I can't, oh god’ and suddenly his voice was lost to desperate moans, his body completely and utterly overwhelmed, a tear tracking down from his tightly squeezed eyes, his climax still ripping through his body as Sam kept growling his name and slamming into him.

Sam was gripped in the most out of control violent climax he had ever had in his life, he was in over his head, this was more than just sex, he wanted to devour every inch of Dean, **he wanted him like he had never wanted anything or anyone before,** and just as he thought he couldn’t take anymore, his legs gave out, the camera pole Dean's wrists were tethered to snapped and went flying causing Dean's bound wrists to come crashing down looping around his neck as they went down, and somehow with skill and reflexes he didn't even know he possessed he managed to hold on to Dean, clamping him tight to his shuddering body, still hard and throbbing inside him, aftershocks of pleasure crashing into him even as he lay Dean down on the elevator floor as gently as he could, his whole body shaking so hard he fell forward, his palms landing either side of Dean's head, as he fought for breath, his blood roaring in his ears, his breathing fast and erratic as suddenly the feeling that something was **_wrong_** slammed into him hard, his eyes widening as he looked down at Dean's beautiful face

**_Dean was unconscious._ **


	10. Consequence

Dean was… he'd done this to him? Yet.... he still wanted more, it was like some animal part of him had taken over and he couldn’t get enough. _what the hell was wrong with him_? **he had to stop,** but he was still deep inside him, still throbbing hard inside his warm tight body… and Dean was just so beautiful _spread before him, _his wrists still bound.__

 _Something was… wrong with him, how could he still want…_ **He had to stop himself** , _he felt something for Dean, something real, he couldn’t do this to him, he couldn't just use him._ he was shaking with the effort of restraining himself as he battled to get his body under control, slowly kissing the salty path of Dean's tear from the corner of his eye to his temple, and taking deep breaths to try and calm himself down.

 _Dean smelled incredible_ … and he **hungered** for him, but he wasn’t this person, was he? He wasn't the kind of man that would… _go on regardless_ … no, he wasn’t, _he couldn't be_ , he was just… in over his head, _way over his head._ He couldn't control his reactions to Dean.

The enormity of the situation began to sink in and he forced himself to ease out of Dean's body slowly. God, what the hell had he done?  _Dean looked like he'd been mauled by a wild animal,_ he was covered in bruises and bite marks, and his hand prints were dark red accusing stamps on Dean's thighs, as were the deep crimson marks on Dean's wrists where he had bound him too tightly. Guilt and unwanted desire stabbed painfully into his gut as he looked at Dean, his tie was on backwards, his shirt torn and discarded on the elevator floor. **And god he still wanted him.**

The way Dean affected him was like throwing a burning match on lighter fluid, everything burst into wild flames and he couldn't control himself. He had gone crazy on Dean… _but he hadn’t realised he'd been this rough_ , he hadn't meant to hurt him, it was mostly a red haze in his mind, a heated blur of taste, touch, scent, the electrical bolts of explosive pleasure every time he moved inside him, combined with the deep drugging power of kissing his beautiful lips… and everything was pretty much a blur after that, just explosive combustible pleasure beyond what he was capable of handling without losing it.

He unbound Dean’s wrists kissing the red marks there, once Dean's hands were free they fell limply at his sides, and alarm spiked through him, **_Dean was showing no signs of coming round,_** he pressed his ear to Dean's chest and listened, his heart was beating strong and regular and he was breathing normally he was just passed out.

Sam rested his head on Dean's chest for a moment listening to his heartbeat wondering what it was about its steady beat he found so hypnotically familiar.

He forced himself to snap out of it and sat back on his heels, biting his lower lip in frustration. He should have been more careful, he'd realised how fiercely he was attracted to Dean and how much he wanted him from the moment he pinned him against the elevator wall and kissed him, **_he should never have let things go so far._**

 ** _God,_** he'd made a mess of Dean, and shame-drenched him as he stared down at Deans neck, a bead of sweat dripping from his face on to Dean's chest. _he'd done that…_ he'd marked Dean while kissing, biting, and undressing him, while fucking him hard, holding him up and surging into him, and his neck was warm and inviting, the flesh sweet and salty, and Dean tasted so good, smelled so good, he hadn't been able to stop himself from biting down hard, leaving a violent savage stamp of ownership on Dean's neck, so everyone could see who he belonged to, so no one else would touch him, **so never again would someone try to take what was his**... what? Where did that come from? _'If you ever let another man have you, I'll strangle you both, I'm the only one who gets to have you'._ **Wait he'd said that!** what was wrong with him?! _how could he have said that?_

Fuck; he was still painfully hard, **he _still_ wanted more,** even after everything he'd just done to Dean, the damage he'd inadvertently inflicted on him, deep down some part of him he didn't understand was growling in dark triumph and all he could think was he'd marked Dean as his _**and he liked it.**_

How could he feel that way, when he'd almost certainly ruined his one chance to get Dean to come with him. _How could he have been so stupid_ , he'd wanted Dean so much, he'd let it override everything else, and unable to handle how insane it was between them, he'd completely lost control _and look at what he'd done to him_. How could he seriously expect Dean to want to give up everything and leave with him now? how could he ever convince him to put his safety in his hands, to entrust his life to him on hunts, when the moment Dean had been vulnerable and in danger he'd taken advantage of the situation and practically raped him. _Dean probably wouldn't want to ever see his face again after this._

He ran his hand through his hair, and then looked down at himself, he was still fiercely painfully hard, clearly, one part of him apparently had no remorse whatsoever.

God, he was the worse kind of fool! He'd had a real chance, Dean had actually been considering leaving with him, now he'd ruined everything, sabotaging his own happiness because he couldn't control himself. He adjusted himself gingerly, as he tried to zip himself away, ignoring how much he wanted to be inside Dean.

 ** _Dean being so close was not helping. So fucking beautiful..._** he had to stop this, he had to stop thinking about… damn it,  _it didn’t matter how close Dean was,_ he couldn’t touch him or even himself while Dean was in this state, _why wouldn’t his body get the damn message._

They couldn’t stay like this, the repair man could come along at any moment. He had to get himself under control, bring Dean round and get him dressed.

'Dean' he murmured tapping him very lightly on the cheek. He was stealing a kiss before he even realised what he was doing and he made himself stop before he turned into  even more of an evil date rapist than he already felt. Dean’s green eyes opened slowly, and he immediately felt sucked into their dynamic pull.

‘Damit I hurt everywhere’ Dean growled his eyes travelling over him, and focusing on a point just below his neck in a way that did nothing to calm him down.

Sam tried to help Dean on with his shirt, insisting when Dean tried swatting his hand away to do it himself, but re-buttoning Dean’s shirt was impossible **because there were no buttons left,** _he hadn’t meant to do that-_  and short of pulling up the elevator carpet with his fingernails to cover Dean, there was nothing he could do other than try to hide it behind Dean's jacket. Sam ran a hand through his hair and tried to think, The elevator was sweltering, he could explain a faint looking Dean, he thought as he retrieved their belts and re-buckled himself _but he couldn’t explain the sexually mauled state Dean was in._ **He didn’t want people at work gossiping about Dean.**  He was just cubicle guy it didn’t really matter what he did, he wasn’t important, but he couldn’t stand the idea of Dean becoming an office joke who was gossiped about around the water cooler.

He ran his hands through his hair and decided to give Dean his shirt, under his suit jacket it might be passable, it might cover up the worst of the scratch and bite marks, and he could just say he had taken his off due to the heat and pretend it was in his bag, he thought grabbing Dean's work satchel to hide his ruined shirt in. A splash of crimson landed on the expensive leather, and Sam realised he was bleeding.

 ** _Dean had marked him too,_** bitten him so desperately hard that his blood was trickling down his chest in a thin line. So that's what Dean had been looking at when he brought him round. He tried to ignore the twinge of raw lust that stabbed right through him and made him harder as he remembered the state Dean was in when he had bitten him. The sounds he'd made, how he had been begging him to stop and go on... wait... in the harsh light of reality he had to ask himself if the _go on_ part had all been in his head... considering how out of control he had been wasn't it more likely Dean was just telling him to stop... _and_   _he hadn't._

He had to calm down, had to think. He would have to put his polo shirt back on to cover the bite mark, he looked at Dean and shook his head, _Fuck this was useless, **it was going to be so obvious**_ **,** there was just no way to hide it, all he could do now was get Dean back into his pants and buckled up.

There was a loud banging on the elevator door, which made Sam jump ‘hey everyone okay in there?’ a voice bellowed. Dean tried to sit up and he helped him automatically.

‘Yeah get us out’ Dean sounded week, and he cursed himself for an animal, because really, who did what he just did to someone they really cared about, and now the heat of the moment was over... he wasn't so sure that Dean had really wanted it at all.

He helped Dean dress quickly, and was hurriedly yanking his own shirt over his head when the engineer opened the elevator door a crack and looked in at them, his eyes travelling over Dean, then him, then slowly over Dean again.

‘You _sure_ you guys are okay?’ Sam didn’t miss the ‘ _I'm not interrupting anything am I_?’ tone in the man’s voice and gritted his teeth.

‘Were fine just a little dehydrated it's like an oven in here’

‘Yeah well your friend over there should maybe think about losing the suit jacket’

Sam cursed himself for an idiot, he had all but trussed Dean up in his damn suit jacket trying to make it look like his shirt was merely unbuttoned as opposed to having no buttons left after he'd ripped it off him, but naturally no one would be wearing a buttoned-up suit jacket in a seething death trap.

Sam sighed, ‘yeah well er… look how long is this gonna take?’

‘Well you see I can open the door a crack to make sure you're alive in there as the com ain't working and security said they couldn’t get nothing on the camera, any idea why that might be?’

Sam narrowed his eyes, didn’t the engineer have better things to do then ask stupid questions about cameras? _like getting them the hell out._

‘Relax kid, like I said, I can open the door a crack but I can't pull you through, the elevator is between floors and the elevator door safety mechanism is shot, if the doors close on ya while I'm trying to pull ya through-’

‘-Yeah I know believe me. How long till you can get it open safely?'

‘I'm working as fast as I can, I gotta re-shut the door now for your own safety, good news is it's just a problem with the door mechanism which caused the safety rig to stop the elevator, there's nothing wrong with the cables, so you're about as safe as you can be considering. First, we gotta fix the door mechanism then we can use a manual override to lower the elevator to the next floor and get you out safely. I'm gonna take a wild guess that you’ll feel like taking the stairs once you’re out’.

‘Damn right, in fact, I think I might just take the stairs permanently’.

‘Everyone says that then their back in an elevator the next day- hey kid your friend don’t look so good are you sure he's okay?’

‘He's fine he's just having a little trouble being trapped in here’.

‘He aint one of those um what do you call em, clostraphobes is he because they can lose their minds in a situation like this’.

Sam could feel Dean tensing beside him even though they weren’t touching.

‘Please just be as fast as you can'.

‘Relax I'm working on it’.

‘Er listen do you have any blankets?’

‘Yeah I got some somewhere in the van the engineer laughed ‘why someone had a little accident?’

Sam thought fast, ‘Er… yes actually so er could you just please bring a couple of blankets’.

‘But you guys have been in there less than an hour, shish you couldn’t hold it for that long-’ The engineer stopped talking stared at him for a moment then back at Dean, ‘Okay kid two blankets coming up soon as I get the doors open’.

‘Thanks man, appreciate it’

The engineer removed the tool he was using to pry the elevator doors open and they slammed shut.

Dean started breathing faster.

‘Just hold on Dean not much longer you will be out of here in a few minutes I promise’. Sam quickly looked around for the camera and found it laying on the floor it had a dent in the side but thankfully it wasn’t broken as he jammed the broken camera pole back into the mount as best he could and reattached the camera jamming the connection wire back into it.

Dean was sitting on the elevator floor looking to Sam like he was trying his best not to freak out and charge the doors again, and he wondered if Dean regretted what had happened between them, but with the camera switched back on he couldn’t ask him all he could do was sit next to him quietly and hope Dean wasn’t as mad at him as he was at himself.

The engineer took less than 25 minutes to get the elevator working again but it felt like a lifetime with Dean so close and not being able to say a word to him for fear of what the camera might pick up.

When the engineer finally got the elevator doors open, he paid him 100 bucks -his last one hundred in the world- to keep his mouth _firmly_ _shut_ about what he had seen when he got a good up close look at them both.

 

 

**************************

Dean let Sam drive his expensive car back to his apartment, he was glad everyone had left for the day and the engineer had given them both blankets to wrap themselves in before they left with only building security to see them go.

He vaguely remembered Sam saying to the engineer ‘please man it’s all I've got just take it and keep your mouth shut’ then in contrast to his previous pleading ‘I'm serious man if you open your mouth about this, _any of it,_ I'm gonna come looking for you, and I'm gonna take my hundred bucks _right out of your ass'._

The engineer had laughed as if being threatened by a man Sam's size was funny and said ‘my sister’s boy he's like you guys he served in the army, did his country and his family proud, I got no problem wid you guys, course there's a time and place for everything, but hey if you think the elevator you're in is gonna go crashing to the ground, life and death and all that- anyways I'm just taking this here hundred bucks because of your attitude Son.

He remembered feeling the tension sag out of Sam's shoulder where Sam was trying not to make a show of the fact he was holding him up, ‘so were cool?’ Sam had asked, ‘can I get my hundred bucks back?’

‘Nah, consider this a lesson in tolerance' the engineer had laughed 'don’t assume everyone's a bigot kid'.

‘Pretty expensive lesson’ Sam had muttered fiercely.

 

 

**************************

Dean needed carbs and he needed them now, so this was how he found himself sitting in his company Prius eating hoards of junk food that Sam bought from some fast food place he would never normally set foot in, nevermind consider eating from, yet here he was wolfing down all kinds of saturated fats and loving every bite more than the next. … _stupid fucking cleanse._

 **He still couldn’t look Sam in the eye.** The guy sitting across from him in his parked car, trying so hard to keep his distance seemed so mild mannered and earnest, gentle even despite his sasquatch like dimensions, yet he now knew he was a complete animal when it came to sex. But that wasn’t why he couldn’t look at him, a sexually aggressive sasquatch that was not beyond the realms of possibility, and despite what had just happened he still didn't even know this kid well enough to say sex like that was even out of character for him; what was preventing him from looking Sam in the eye, what was beyond all human understanding for him, was knowing that he had been a whimpering bitch for the pleasure _and_   the pain Sam had inflicted, **he hadn't taken charge at all** , Sam had practically, no not practically, Sam had _**completely**_ **ravaged** him and he had moaned like a freaking damsel in distress with a ripped skirt, **it was so beyond humiliating.**

‘Dean look we should probably talk about-’

‘-Not now, **_not ever,_** I'm beat, I just wanna go home'.

‘Okay, I’ll drop you off then catch a taxi back’.

‘With what? didn't I hear you say you gave the engineer your last 100 bucks, hey what did you pay for all this with?’

‘My credit card’ Sam's voice was quiet ‘I can pay the taxi with it too’.

‘Wow you really did just move here, this time of night, to anywhere other than this part of town it’s cash or nothing’ Dean said slurping noisily on some dairy rich sugar crammed concoction and wondering what his life was coming to; he'd just had violent combustible sex in a public elevator, and he'd eaten some kind of ‘Combo Meal’ where the only combination seemed to be sugar, artificial chemicals and flavourings, and enough fat to clog a Whales arteries, _and that was just the French fries!_ Honestly, why had he even bothered detoxing in the first place if he was going to consume more calories in _one_ meal than he had all year? ‘look I can give you back your hundred bucks he found himself telling Sam ‘it was my fault you had to bribe that guy as well wasn't it, I got some cash at my place, not a lot but-’

‘No Dean, look I'm just gonna head back, I’ll be out of here by morning’.

Dean paused mid-bite ‘Out of where?’

‘This city, I should have just gone yesterday then none of this would have happened’.

‘You can’t just up and leave like that’.

‘It’s probably best’.

‘Why?’ Dean asked quietly.

‘Oh come on Dean you can’t even look at me’.

Dean breathed out slowly ‘look I don’t like big emotional scenes okay, and yes I'm having a little trouble with all this but that doesn't mean... look just come back to my place okay, let me finish eating, take a shower, let’s just not get into all the damn talking tonight okay?’

Dean finally looked at Sam and was amazed to see the kid looked like he wanted to cry. _Sonuvabitch_! Dean didn't know why but it made him feel like the worst kind of scum bag alive. He wasn't much older than Sam four maybe five years at most, but he _was_ older and he knew that look, the kid was in over his head, like him he didn't know what he was feeling _just that it was overwhelming_. ‘Let’s just go back to my place okay Sammy?’

‘Okay Dean’.


	11. Connection

Dean hit the shower and changed his clothes, he threw his entire outfit in the trash it was beyond ruined a three thousand dollar suit, more than that kid made in a... he suddenly realised he didn't care. He didn't care at all. In those moments when Sam had ripped his shirt and treated his body like he owned it, Dean had felt more alive than... he couldn’t remember when.

Dean knew two things; one, if it cost him membership to a gym he was never going on that stupid cleanse again, it made a man so crazed with hunger he did insane things like pig out on junk food and have mind obliterating sex with near complete strangers. -And two, he wasn't ready to let go of the feelings that kid stirred in him.

Sam was halfway to dreaming but this time he didn't dream about hunting monsters with Dean he dreamed about what they had done in the elevator, only this time he had more control, he wasn't so rough, he was experienced, polished, he made Dean whimper and beg for him because he mastered him with finesse on his own level, not overpowered him with brute strength, he made Dean his like he had wanted to, like he had meant to and failed so epically he honestly didn't know why Dean was even talking to him let alone bringing him home.

Sam had never felt like such an idiot before, his body was humming, coiled tight wanting more, but he didn't trust himself, and his lack of control got more and more embarrassing the more he thought about it, because he was pretty damn sure someone with more experience would not have ended up fucking the person he was falling in love with into unconsciousness because he couldn’t control his fierce attraction to them.

Dean couldn’t believe his body could handle more after earlier but apparently his body was a secret sadist. He was taking the day off tomorrow, he would let the office know he had been trapped in an elevator dehydrated and needed medical care and he would wager his next hefty paycheck that so long as he didn't mention anything about a health and safety lawsuit there would be no questions about him taking a day or even a week off and absolutely no questions about the whereabouts of a certain co-worker who was known to have been trapped in the elevator with him 

No. No questions and no whispers that couldn’t be controlled or spun in his favour. If the kid knew a little more about how corporate America really worked he could have saved himself a hundred bucks he was clearly sorely in need of. Dean resigned to slip the money into Sam's wallet and if asked pretend he knew nothing about it.

Sam was tossing and turning on the sofa and saying his name, Dean shook him softly and he sat bolt upright ‘Dean’ Sam grabbed him in a bone crushing hug, ‘I'm sorry, I didn't know what I was doing and I got, swept up in the moment, I didn't mean to hurt you’.

‘Come on Sammy I'm not a girl I'm fine’.

‘But I’ Sam looked at the floor, ‘I made you unconscious’.

Dean actually chuckled, it felt like he hadn’t done that it in a long time. ‘Sammy I hadn't eaten a decent meal or any kind of meal in days, a strong gust of wind could have knocked me down, let’s not talk about it again I'm feeling ridiculous enough as it is, just come to bed with me... let’s just take it from there okay'.

Sam nodded as if he couldn’t believe his luck and Dean led him to the bedroom.

Dean sat on the bed and Sam sat beside him. Dean leaned over and pressed his lips to Sam's tracing the shape of Sam's lips with his tongue.

Sam pulled his head back his eyes looked drugged his pupils huge in the dim light. He shook his head as if to clear it. ‘Dean I'm, I'm really sorry’ Sam started up again even when Dean made a face that said _I don’t want to talk about it._ ‘But Dean I must have hurt you, I was out of control and-’

‘-Look I thought I said no talking things through tonight, we really gotta do something about your insubordinate streak kid’ Dean smiled, ‘I'm upper management you know, you ought to be listening to me when I tell you something’.

Sam flashed Dean the dimples and Dean leaned in to kiss him again.

It wasn't long before Sam started to feel like a fire was raging out of control in him, this wasn't spur of the moment like just hours earlier, this was Dean initiating sex with _him_ and it was turning him on hard and fast, and even though he'd had the best sex of his life just hours ago it still felt like a lifetime since he had kissed Dean’s beautiful mouth and licked and nibbled around his ears and neck the way he knew he liked.

Addictive that was the word he had thought of the first time, and had been right, once twice a hundred times wasn't going to be enough as he wondered if he would ever get to the stage where he could look at this man without wanting him, wanting to kiss him and stroke him and be inside his incredibly tight body. He doubted it.

Sam forcibly pushed Dean onto his back laying over him.

‘Hey take it easy’ Dean mumbled, 'we got all night we don’t have to rush’.

‘I'm sorry I don’t have all night I don’t have five minutes’. Sam drew Dean’s hand down to where he was hard and ready. ‘Please Dean, I had to stop before I wanted to before, because I messed it up being too rough and now I'm in this state, you must think I'm a real idiot, I'm sorry I'm not... that I'm not better than this more in control, I can’t describe how it makes me feel when I look at you, _when I touch you_ ’.

‘I think he's doing a fine job of letting me know how you feel’ Dean murmured kissing Sam and deliberately stroking him.

 _Dean's hand was on his cock,_ his every stroke making him feel he was wrapped in electricity,  _he didn’t have long._ ‘Can I’, Sam hesitated, ‘can I have you again Dean, is that okay?’

Dean barely nodded before he was flipped over onto his stomach and his hips pulled up sharply forcing him onto all fours ‘Wait _wait’_ he barked, ‘slow down I didn't mean right this second!'. Sam was in that not listening phase again, not enough blood in his brain Dean thought as Sam was shuffling about behind him, slicking and wetting them both and sliding his fingers into him.

‘Is this okay?’ Sam panted ‘are you ready?’

‘I told you, not yet, will you _listen_ ’.

Sam groaned aloud ‘you’re swallowing my fingers, so tight, so hot, you’re ready I can tell’

‘Damit might as well talk to myself’. He could feel Sam's cock probing hard and pushing forward, and like before it was too much, too big, and it wouldn’t fit.

Sam made frustrated sounds in the back of his throat as Dean gritted his teeth against the pain.

Sam pulled back so he was barely penetrating Dean and his large hands began hotly exploring Dean's body.

Dean felt himself being gasped and stroked with both of Sam's strong hands, one stroking his balls which were quick to tighten as he hardened and one tightly fisting his cock. Sam knew how to get to him, Dean thought, it was as if Sam knew his body perfectly, and he couldn’t fight the groans escaping his lips as Sam begged him to take more, stroking his cock while slowly pushing into him, one hand gripping his hip, holding him steady when he instinctively flinched against the pain.

Sam slowly sank all the way inside Dean, gritting his teeth against the urge to come as he tried to stay still for a moment to give Dean time to adjust to him.

Dean jolted hard as Sam stroked then pinched both his nipples roughly, sending dark shards of pleasure lancing through his body as he pulled back and pushed hard into him, pressing his hard muscled chest up against his back, stroking him faster and harder, squeezing him in his large rough fist, his other hand sliding under his chin and around his throat, holding him in total domination as he fucked him hard and rough.

Sam was so turned on by taking Dean like this but he wanted to see his face, he had to make sure he wasn't hurting him this time, had to have more control, although looking at Dean's face as he fucked him was what made him lose it before. His expressions, the way his beautiful lips worked as he moaned out his name, _it had made him completely insane._ ‘Too good’ Sam moaned, ‘can’t last, need to see your face, need to look into your eyes when I'm coming inside you’.

Dean was being fucked on all fours like and animal and he liked it what was wrong with him that he liked it? He had been planning to take charge this time, but the kid clearly had other plans. Although he was being slightly less rough than he had been in the elevator he was being just as domineering, and he was being even more intense than before, insisting he wanted to look into his eyes while he came.

Sam turned him over while still inside him and Dean suddenly understood why girls liked it so much when he did it to them, it felt indescribably good the twisting motion until he was lying flat on his back with Sam riding him hard, muttering nonsense in his ear about how beautiful he was, and how he couldn’t get enough of him while kissing his neck and biting him in the same spot he'd bitten him in the elevator, and just like before it made pleasure jolt through him as he cried out.

Sam was licking biting and sucking Dean's neck while driving harder and harder into him, his feelings spilling out of his mouth uncontrollably ‘You're so fucking good Dean, the way you feel around my cock is so perfect, and you're so fucking beautiful it drives me crazy, I want to fuck you every time I look at you’. Sam kissed a hot path across Dean's throat, groaning desperately in his ear, ‘Do you know what the fuck you're doing to me Dean? I can’t get enough of this I can't get enough _you_ ’.

Sam was so close he had no control left, his  body was moving on its own ramming into Dean plundering him, taking everything he had, ‘Dean, dean _OH FUCK DEAN’_ Sam shouted desperately as his thrusting became disjointed his rhythm frenzied as Dean arched his back spurting hard over Sam's fist, frenzied contractions wracking his body making Sam whimper as Dean tightened like a fist around his cock, gripping him so hard he could barely move inside him, and Sam spread Dean wider ramming into him so hard it forced the air from Dean's lungs, making him cry out as Sam rode out Dean's climax hard and throbbing inside him as Dean went to fucking pieces in his arms making Sam frenzied, and hungry for more.


	12. Black

Dean collapsed boneless onto the mattress, Sam was still hard after his climax anchored painfully deep inside Dean rocking hard into him not ready to leave him yet.

Sam stared down at Dean for a long moment his eyes filled with hunger, ‘look at you Dean' Sam growled lowering his lips to Dean and whispering against his mouth in between kisses, 'just look at you, so fucking beautiful laying under me, filled with my cock, my come inside you, making you so wet for me it's making me crazy’.

Sam devoured Dean's mouth hungrily as he rubbed his hard muscled body all over Dean as if he was marking him with his scent.

‘I'm still hard for you Dean’ Sam breathed in his ear ‘that's how you get me, so hot and hard I can't think straight, I can only feel, fuck, and taste you’. Sam kissed Dean and groaned as he pulled back and plunged forward swallowing Dean's muffled shout, moving faster and balancing his weight on his strong forearms riding Dean hard, ‘I want you so much, this feels so good, so good Dean’ he growled ramming hard and fast into Dean, loud sounds of pleasure bursting from his mouth with every thrust.

Dean's expression held a grimace of pain, and Sam knew he was being too rough again, but he his body wouldn’t listen to his mind, _**his body wanted to fuck Dean through the mattress,** _ he couldn’t stop himself, couldn’t even slow down his pounding into Dean, he could only groan desperately as he was able to drive deeper into Dean than ever before, because Dean could offer no resistance, he was utterly spent, fucked out and pliant in his arms. It should have made him merciful, **_instead it made him crazed,_** having Dean like this, helpless, _under him,_ was more than he could take, and the white hot frenzy of need he had been in since his first climax, which had left him still hard and wanting, became a red hot haze of violent uncontrollable lust, and even though he was taking Dean it wasn't enough, his blood was pounding in his ears, hot and savage, and suddenly he had to have more of Dean, had to _**Fuck** him, **Bite** him, **Mark** him, **had to make Dean _his_ and no one else's, **_ his blood pounded faster, loud and hard like the primal drum of a racing heartbeat, his body matching the hard violent rhythm of its own accord, slamming into Dean over and over, his eyes feasting hungrily on what was his, **_what he would never lose again._**

'Sam slow down', Dean cried pushing at Sam's shoulders, his voice hitched in his throat and disjointed from the brutal fucking he was receiving  ‘it's too much, slow down’, but It was as if Sam didn't hear him even though he was looking at him, his gaze intense and disturbingly predatory as he drove into him, making him sob against his will as he felt every inch of Sam, hot and huge as he fucked him so hard and deep it hurt, 'Sam please' he whimpered locking eyes with him, and he could have sworn that Sam's eyes were completely **_black_** no whites at all! as Sam suddenly lowered his head to his neck, where he could have sworn he was _sniffing_ him like an animal scenting prey.

Sam breathed in Dean's scent, sinking his teeth into Dean's neck biting him, _marking_ him, growling low in his throat as Dean made whimpering pleasure-pain sounds and the force behind his thrusts became even more aggressive as he fucked him ferociously, pinning his arms over his head when Dean tried to slow him down and swallowing his cries until he threw back his head and roared his pleasure because he was coming inside Dean, **_he was marking what was his._**

‘Mine’ Sam ground out harshly as he came inside him, his seed shooting so hot and hard Dean could feel every spurt, ‘you're _mine_ Dean’ he growled ramming so hard and deep into Dean he cried out and tried to push him off, struggling and begging Sam to stop, but Sam held him down, stretching his arms high over his head, his grip crushing as he pinned him to the mattress, spreading him wider with his knees, his violent thrusts becoming punishing as put his full weight behind his pounding hips, and he cursed as again his body started responding to the pain, _even revelling in it,_ arching up to take Sam's out of control brutal thrusting.

'Oh god, oh god, _you're making me come Sam'_ , was he shouting, sobbing? He didn't even know any more, his climax was raging through him leaving savage destruction in his path, leaving his body limp, destroyed, and laid out even as a second wave lashed him violently, and suddenly his whole body went crazy, shuddering violently, as Sam demanded more from him until he couldn't take it, because he was imploding, exploding, he didn't know any more, all he knew was sobbing and begging Sam to end it, as Sam kept fucking him mercilessly hard through his climax.

'Fuck, yes, come for me Dean’  Sam growled as Dean arched up against him coating their hard stomachs ‘ _come harder_ ’ he demanded, desperate to feel more of Dean coming for him, desperate to drive him further over the edge as he fucked him harder and faster, revelling in the feeling of Dean's body going into overdrive as jet after jet of seed shot from him and he bellowed in triumph, trapping Deans pulsing spurting cock between their hard abdomens and smearing his seed over them, as he kissed him growling ‘yes Dean _yes_ that's it, come because _**I'm making you** _ because _**I’m**_ fucking you hard and you love it as much as I do'.

Dean threw pride out of the window and sobbed and begged because his orgasm wouldn't end, somehow he was still coming, even after ejaculating, hard spasms wracking his entire body, making him grip Sam even tighter inside him.

I can feel you' Sam growled in Dean's ear 'I can feel you coming, I can feel you milking me so fucking tight, it's so good, can't hold back, fuck Dean you're making me come again' Sam seethed, his eyes slamming shut as he roared with the sudden force of his climax tearing brutally through him, the savage blood beat pounding through him reaching a deafening crescendo as he fucked Dean harder, his seed racing from him as he kissed Dean hard, swallowing his moans and cries, rammed deep inside him giving him everything he had until he finally collapsed over Dean, anchored deep inside him, breathing hard and fighting his way back from the edge of oblivion.

Sam's inexplicably all black eyes locked on Dean as he held his arms above his head, still inside him pinning him in every way.

Mine' Sam growled licking the side of Dean's face like an animal tasting prey.

Dean struggled weekly against Sam's painful grip on his wrists and crushing weight and Sam moved the bulk of his weight off him but still lay over him as aftershocks slammed into his body. Sam seemed to be fighting to keep himself under control and he could understand the feeling, because this thing between them was insanity, _a sexual powder keg, even the smallest spark and it **exploded violently** _. He could only guess that Sam was as freaked out by the sexual intensity between them as him, _was sex even supposed to be this good without killing you?_...but it was more than just sex, it seemed as if they knew each other in every way even though they had practically only just met, and it was as if they had done this a thousand times before and had only got better at it every time, and now it was at the stage where it was so insanely good it could kill them both.

Sam shifted a little of his weight without leaving him mumbling, ‘m’ sorry Dean’, Sam sounded sleepy and Dean couldn’t help smiling, ‘I... again I- I didn't mean too’.

‘It's okay Sammy’ Dean replied automatically wondering why it always came so naturally to him to say that, ‘it was me as well, that was… I don’t even know what that was, but I felt it too, it wasn't just you’.

Sam kissed Dean's shoulder, rubbing his face over his neck and the side of his face, the long strands of his soft hair tickling Dean's face and again he felt a stab of familiarity like he had done this before. What the hell was it with him and this kid, what was the connection? why was it so strong? so intense? it was actually freaking him out a little despite himself.

Sam eventually eased out of him slowly as if reluctant to leave, and Dean knew he had to have imagined that thing with Sam's eyes being flooded with black as he fell asleep exhausted in the kid's meaty arms, and again wondered if the master cleanse could truly make you lose your mind.


	13. Daylight

Daylight streamed through the window that opened with automatic blinds, and Dean struggled to find the remote to close them and shut his blaring alarm clock off. He stumbled to the kitchen on autopilot, coffee was all he understood right now. His legs almost didn't work and his whole body felt like he had run a marathon uphill but he didn't care, every inch of his body was tingling, _alive_.

He poured two cups of plain black coffee and called the office explaining that he was not coming in to work as he was resting on doctor's orders after his ordeal in the elevator. Naturally, management had no desire _whatsoever_ to explain a traumatised employee trapped in their elevators, two suicides, _and_ a decapitation all in the same week to health had safety, so he was instructed to stay home for the entire day and to not so much as take a call from the office. He agreed to try and smiled to himself as he bought a cup of coffee into his bedroom for Sam.

Sam was still sleeping and Dean felt a brief pang of something akin to guilt as he looked at him because asleep he looked like a _giant overgrown kid_. He knew Sam had to be in his mid to late twenties, he wasn't jail bait by the better part of a decade, but he still felt guilty, Sam just looked so _young_ when he was sleeping. He decided to stop creeping himself out watching Sam sleep and make better use of his time preparing breakfast, then remembered he didn't have any real food in the damn house, ‘screw this' he muttered heading for the bathroom, emerging showered and dressed exactly 15 minutes later, grabbing his keys and heading out.

#  **************************

Dean had been tormented by the excellent scent of the pastries from the bakery at the end of his street many times before, that was why he'd taken to steaming his own lattes so he didn't have to go in there and be tempted by their damned full fat muffins. Today he threw caution to the wind and ordered the chocolate ones then remembered that he didn't know if Sam liked chocolate or not, but he had already paid for them and besides what exactly was there not to like about chocolate? Next, he stopped in at the small deli slash convenience store next door to the bakery and bought all of the things he normally wouldn't _dream_ of eating.

His body screamed in protest but tingled at the same time as he bought the morning paper from the local vendor and let the sun hit his face. He really was going for all things reckless today. He _never_ let the sun mess with his skin. _He had to stay vital looking in this competitive market_ , heck kids five years younger than him would sell their own mothers to get his position, so he was always careful to look as well as act the part of a boss, but today he didn't care about any of that, he had a bag full of non-health food, some Beer because Sam had said he wanted one the other day, and a box crammed with freshly baked double chocolate muffins as well as two full fat creamed mocha-lattes.

He inhaled the mocha and sighed in pleasure _Good times_.

#  **************************

Sam woke up and reached for Dean but he wasn't there, _of course not he had gone to work._ What, did he think that Dean was just going to take the day off and spend it in bed with him? He cursed himself for an idiot and tried to resist smelling the pillow next to him like a lovesick teenage girl and failed spectacularly, burying his face in Dean's pillow and inhaling deeply, _This just couldn't get any more pathetic_ he thought miserably when he realised he was actually hugging it, what next was he going to start making out with the damn thing.

‘You know I think I smell better than that pillow'.

Dean, _great_ , how humiliating to be caught sniffing and possibly inappropriately groping a pillow. Sam looked up and quickly forgot his embarrassment; it was _Dean_ , not at work, but standing there looking so gorgeous _and_ _fuckable_ that he was suddenly getting hard. It wasn't fair Sam frowned, it really wasn't, Dean's golden skin was glowing and his hair, was of course, _frigging perfect_ , he knew without looking that his own hair probably resembled the birds nest it usually did when he woke up. Dean held up something that smelled delicious and Sam's stomach grumbled in response as he happily accepted mocha and chocolate muffins, instantly forgiving Dean for being so perfect so freaking early in the morning.

Dean smiled at him and Sam tried to attribute the way his heart beat sped up to the fact he had melting chocolate in his mouth and it tasted like heaven, his eyes dropped to Dean's perfect mouth, well _almost_ like heaven he amended.

‘Thanks for getting this for me Dean I know it's not what you normally eat'.

As Dean shrugged, he watched the way the muscles played in his shoulders and chest beneath what Sam supposed for Dean was a casual dress shirt. Like all the others he owned it was expensive, moulded to his sculpted chest perfectly, _and made Sam want to rape him_.

Hot mocha accidently seeped into Sam's slack-jawed mouth scolding his tongue as he fought to gain control over his rapidly disturbing urges towards Dean. He bit into the inside of his cheek and took a deep breath as Dean licked cream from his mocha off his seriously sexy bottom lip, and moaned softly around a bite of chocolate muffin, his eyes sliding shut as he desperately wondered if slapping his damn stupid cock and yelling at it to stop misbehaving because its lack of control _and remorse_ had already got him into enough trouble as it was, might just force Dean to question his sanity, and decided it probably would. He could only hope he didn't look as rapey as he felt as he took in the rest of Dean's outfit, dress pants, expensive black shiny leather shoes, the only thing that could really be considered casual was that he wasn't wearing a tie, and had removed his expensive black overcoat; but he still looked too much like he was going to throw on a tie and suit jacket and head off to work for his liking, he desperately wanted Dean to take the day off so they could spend it together. Preferably in bed, naked, _with Dean underneath him_.

 ** _Fuck dean smelled good_ ,** better than the delicious food better than anything, he didn't know it was actually possible to be too horny to eat, especially when you were starving, but when Dean selflessly handed him a piece of his own muffin when he misinterpreted what Sam had to assume was the look of raw hunger is his eyes he couldn't take it anymore and surprised Dean by yanking him forward into bed and mauling him.

#  **************************

Sam wished Dean had taken him up on his offer to shower together, but Dean had already showered and insisted he stop molesting him and get in the shower immediately. It had taken a while to sink into his lust hazed brain that Dean was _refusing_ him and judging by his bossy tone and manner he was not going to be overwhelmed this time. His only option at that point was brute force and he started to feel guilty for even considering it. because, he hadn't exactly taken no for an answer so far, and that kind of behaviour he assumed _eventually saw you up on criminal charges,_ so he let Dean go -albeit extremely reluctantly- and headed into the bathroom.

As Sam used the toothbrush Dean had thoughtfully bought for him along with the delicious breakfast he wondered why he wasn't more afraid of how much he liked Dean taking care of him, how natural it felt, he was very independent he took pride in it and yet with Dean it was like... he couldn't describe it so he gave up trying.

Sam ran his hand over his chest in the shower as he slathered himself in Dean's ludicrously expensive designer bathroom products, and his hand paused as suddenly got the bizarre feeling that something was _missing_ from his own chest something that ought to be close to his shoulder, he kept expecting slightly raised skin like it had been marked somehow, but other than the lingering bruise from where Dean had bitten him, his fingers ran over smooth taunt unmarked skin and his brain signalled to him that was **_wrong_**.

Fed up with the strangeness he shut of the water and stood in front of Dean's full length bathroom mirror, tossing his hair out of his eyes and studying his reflection for a moment; all his features were there, his eyes, his nose his mouth, all of them familiar but _something_ was _just wrong_ , in some ways it was like looking at a stranger who was wearing his face.

Sam gritted his teeth and scowled at his reflection wondering when the constant feeling of being out of synch with reality, of feeling strange with everything around him going to wear off . Being smacked around by Sandover's ghost and dreaming about ghost hunting with Dean before it even happened; all of it had to be _connected_ somehow _,_ maybe all this weirdness was the result of some kind of lingering _ghost fuzziness,_ maybe what he had said to Dean before was right, maybe just like he had suspected before, Sandover who could have zapped him at any time, had zapped him prior to Ian or Paul, Maybe he just got luckier than them and instead of killing himself he had started having vivid insane ghost hunting dreams instead, maybe he only seen himself with Dean _because he'd wanted him and hadn't realised it yet._

Glancing at his bare chest again he suddenly knew for an **absolute fact** that something was **_missing_**. His head started pounding and for a split second that felt like an endless painful stretched out eternity _he knew what the missing thing was_ , painful flashes of light illuminated his brain, he saw a mark of some kind, protection from **_something_** drilled into his skin _at his own wish_. He tried desperately to remember, the pounding in his head intensifying to the point where it felt like his mind was splitting and blood was about to start leaking out of his brain through his nose, he fought through the pain to try to grasp at the information but as if someone had cruelly yanked it away from him at the last moment it was suddenly just **_gone_**.

As the pounding in his head receded, he again tried to grasp at whatever it was he had just remembered but it was a dark fuzzy blank, there was nothing there. He bit into his lower lip in frustration, as his fist thumped down on the sink, it was like trying to remember a tune or a name you knew very well, it was on the tip of your tongue _driving you mad_ , but no matter what, you couldn't connect the information with the right words.

The almost constant feeling of déjà vu, the recurring problem of knowing what was wrong for a split second only to find his mouth opening to speak with no sound coming out as he _suddenly couldn't remember_ had grown beyond frustrating, beyond irritating, it was at the point where if it continued he was pretty sure he was going to end up in the nut house.

It was defiantly time to check out that ghost-facing website he and Dean had found again, maybe it had some information on what to do when a profit hungry ghost zapped your brain.He just didn't know which way was up anymore and he needed answers, _preferably before he completely lost his grip on sanity, which at the moment was tenuous at best._

As the situation currently stood, nothing made sense, where he lived, where he worked, his supposed ex-finance, none of that meant _anything_ to him, the only thing he was _sure_ about was what he was _supposed_ to be doing, and _who_ he was supposed to be doing it with. Dean was the only person he _didn't_ feel out of synch with, the only person he felt he knew better than he knew himself at the moment, _and yet, in reality, he barely knew Dean at all_.

Sam sighed, under closer examination, his feelings for Dean should probably _top_ the long list of things that made no sense. he watched his reflection as his brows lowered and his jaw set in a stubborn line. **_No_** he trusted his feelings for Dean completely, his feelings for Dean had nothing to do with his beleaguered mind, _they came from his heart,_ his **instincts** , at his _core_ he knew unquestionably that Dean was supposed to be in his life.

As for everything else… he blew out his breath in a frustrated huff and turned away from the mirror, his life was hardly likely to make any more sense with him just standing around naked glaring at his reflection. Just like before he was again in the predicament of having nothing to wear. Everything he had been wearing in the elevator with Dean last night was fit for the trash, and when he'd walked into the fast food joint in his loud banana yellow blood stained -slightly ripped in his haste to get it off- polo shirt and his -hideous at their base level- beige work pants complete with questionable damp patch on the front where he had leaked pre-cum through them, and a busted zipper to top off the horror show, the staff at the fast food restaurant had treated him like a hobo with a stolen credit card, leaving him wishing he had just worn the ragged petroleum scented blanket the engineer had given him into the restaurant and just gone for the full hobo look when he went to buy Dean the kind of fast food which was all he could afford after bribing the elevator engineer to keep his mouth shut when he witnessed the results of what he'd done to Dean close up. He was still amazed that Dean so much as looked at him after that, yet alone had sex with him again, he could only conclude he was currently the luckiest man alive, first he survived an encounter with a crazy ghost that had killed everyone else it attacked, then he had sex with Dean, who was possibly the hottest, sexiest, man he had ever seen in his life, and then even after behaving like a complete animal, Dean had given him another chance, so yeah maybe he couldn't remember a few of the finer points about his own life, but who cared when he had Dean.

He was about to ask Dean if he could borrow something to wear again when he noticed the black sweatpants and T-Shirt Dean had laid out for him, and having seen Dean's idea of casual he couldn't resist smiling at the idea of Dean owning a single pair of sweat-pants yet alone two. He ignored the designer T-shirt he would only end up stretching it out and ruining it, luckily Dean kept his apartment very warm so it was okay to leave the shirt off, as he pulled on the sweat-pants underwear be damned. They were again too small and too short but they were preferable to walking around bare-assed as he wrestled his hair into submission as best he could and headed back into the bedroom padding shirtless along the hallway. The carpet was so plush his toes sank in a good inch and he couldn't help but think that Dean's apartment was a study in how to throw money away on pretentious interior designers. At this rate, he thought dejectedly he was _never_ going to be able to convince Dean to throw away the good life and go monster hunting with him, but going without Dean was no longer an option, so he _had_ to convince him, _no matter what it took._

As he entered Dean's bedroom his breath caught in his throat at what he saw.

Dean, in bed, _waiting for him_ , **_naked_** , well at least to the waist where the rest of him was hidden under his expensive sheets. A sudden sharp spike of pure lust lanced through him, but it instantly warred with another feeling just as strong, a feeling that had his heart inexplicably racing yet had nothing to do with the lust lancing through him.

 _Dean really was going to spend all day in bed with him_. Dean Smith who Sam was sure wouldn't miss a day of work even if he had a suspected case of SARS, was taking the day off just to spend it with _him,_ and he hoped the grin that stubbornly plastered itself to his face didn't look as stupid as it felt as he yanked off the sweat pants, hurriedly tossing them aside and got into bed with Dean before he changed his mind and decided to go to work after all.


	14. convalescence

As Sam quickly slid into bed beside Dean it became apparent that Dean was indeed naked under the sheet _and it got his blood pounding_ as he reached over to pull Dean into a kiss, but Dean clearly had other ideas surprising him by pushing him onto his back.

The sunlight flittering through the window lit up Dean's green eyes and made gold highlights in his perfect hair and he felt his heart begin that ridiculous racing again as his breathing quickened, and it seemed like an eternity before Dean leaned down to kiss him intensely but languidly as if they had all the time in the world to just kiss.

He tried to speed up the kiss and quicken the pace of Dean's hand leisurely running over his chest as he lay half over him but Dean broke the kiss lifting his head and staring down at him.

‘Sammy I am going to have to teach you some patience' Dean's voice was deep and teasing, ‘now _keep still_ , let me kiss you’.

Dean leaned down again, kissing him slowly, gently exploring his mouth and chuckling at his impatience as he fisted the back of Dean's silky hair trying to speed up the kiss. Dean backed off again forcing muted sounds of frustration from the back of his throat until he lowered his mouth to him again, kissing a slow teasing line across his lips, until he finally slipped the tip of his teasing tongue into his willing mouth, taunting him with light flicks and gentle swirls when he wanted to **_devour_** Dean's mouth, wanted to pin him down and fuck him hard, wanted Dean moaning his name, wanted to dominate him utterly, _until he was pleading with him to stop_ , but as soon as he responded aggressively Dean pulled back again, making him buck helplessly underneath him in frustration.

‘Easy kid' Dean smiled as he thrashed about trying to rub their hard cocks together ‘We got all afternoon’ he whispered in his ear kissing an unhurried line across his face paying special attention to the indents of his dimples. ‘There's no rush'.

Something washed over him as Dean teased him to breaking point, something dark and dangerous, because Dean clearly had no idea how much he wanted him, how much it was taking out of him to try to stay with the slow pace Dean was setting.

‘ ** _Dean_** ’ he growled out in warning, between hard breaths the last of his control slipping; But Dean locked eyes with him silencing him with a finger over his lips, and he was baffled by his sudden compliance. He couldn't explain it, but suddenly he _couldn't_ disobey Dean, something in his tone, in his manner, in the look in his eyes, made him compliant. -But even though he still couldn't remember much about himself, he knew instinctively that he was not _by any means_ the submissive type, _he didn’t understand what was happening,_ and it didn’t alter the fact that he was still one more slow cock teasing kiss away from doing something drastic. ‘Dean I can't-

 _‘-_ I said _be quiet’,_ Dean's tone was finite as he straddled him, sitting over his hard cock which was weeping and _desperate_ to get inside him, ‘do. Not. Move. do you understand?’

Inexplicably he found himself nodding obediently when seconds ago he'd been about to pin Dean on his back and fuck him until he couldn't move, _why the hell was he suddenly_ -

‘-look at me Sam’ Dean's eyes narrowed as he stared down at him, and his only thought was that Dean was _utterly beautiful_ , his tone and will suddenly like iron as he gripped his chin, ‘ _you're far to disobedient_ ’, Dean leaned down and purred darkly, ‘but I know how to make you obey Sammy’.

 

**************************

_Dean was playing with him_ , playing his body like an instrument, _an instrument he was cock teasing to death!_ he kept touching him, stroking every inch of him, but each time he came close to climax -which under Dean's talented foreplay was damn near every five minutes- _Dean wouldn't let him come!_ Maybe this was his way of paying him back for the rough fucking he had given him twice. But he never _meant_ to be rough, he literally hadn't been able to control himself. This was different, this was Dean deliberately using his expert skills to drive him to the brink of insanity, only to pull him back by squeezing his erection painfully hard, clamping down on the tip or base of his cock until the urge to come subsided, then doing things to him that sent him racing back to the precipice where he again denied him the savage release of rushing over the edge.

‘Dean’ he begged for the hundredth time, ‘please’, he couldn't take any more, _he was in agony,_ and at this point he didn’t even know if Dean had been doing this to him for 30 minutes or five hours, ‘please Dean, I'm begging you, _please let me come’._

‘Uh-uh’, Dean husked, kissing his way down his body, over his hips and to his inner thighs until he was placing gentle teasing kisses on his swollen aching balls, which were so hard and tight and ready to explode that every touch of Dean's lips shot through him like a bolt of ragged electricity making him jolt and cry out. Dean started sucking then lightly as well as kissing and his entire body started shuddering, he was going to explode, _oh god he was so close_ -

‘Look at me’ Dean commanded as he struggled to obey, struggled to lift his head and open his eyes, he was still shaking as he took in Dean's wet lips, his breathing becoming erratic as Dean kissed his tormented weeping cock from base to tip, making him shudder with each press of his wet lips against his cock, ‘I'm so close Dean’, he moaned trying not to hyperventilate as Dean locked eyes with him slowly and deliberately biting into his throbbing tip ‘oh fuck, oh fuck, oh god’ he cried as he jackknifed violently twisting against his bonds, as Dean ruthlessly pushed him to the edge _oh god he was gonna come, **he was gonna come so fucking hard** ,_ but Dean denied him, clamping down painfully hard, squeezing his cock until he had him just under boiling point as he cursed out loud, his whole body bucking, the muscles in his arms bulging against his restraints where Dean had tied his wrists to the bed, while he'd mouthed hot kisses across his straining biceps and told him he didn’t even mind sacrificing expensive silk ties to restrain him because it was going to be worth it.

Dean had tied him up _very_ well, the harder he struggled the tighter the restraints became, he couldn't escape, _and Dean was being merciless,_ straddling him, and rubbing their hard cocks together until his head was twisting from side to side, the back of his head buried in the pillow as his back arched his body bucking up to meet Dean's thrusts, and _oh fuck he was going to-_ but Dean stopped moving, making sure there was no contact, no precious friction between their bodies even though he was still straddling him.

‘Do you want me to lick you there where you're all hard and needy, is that what you want Sam?'

‘Stop it, stop it' he begged ‘ _you know I do'._

‘Really?'

‘Please Dean just, _please'_

Dean lay on top of him and kissed the side of his damp face ‘I don't know if I should Sammy, I mean do I have your word that you won't come unless I tell you too if I do?'

Sam swallowed and gasped as Dean was suddenly gripping him tight, stroking him fast, bringing him to the brink quickly and mercilessly, his helpless moans becoming strangled in the back of this throat as he tightened his fist around him rubbing his thumb over the tip once, twice, then just as he was about to come he clamped down ruthlessly hard.

‘Don't' he begged ‘let me come Dean, please I need too, oh god, **_please_ '**

‘Not yet Sam I'm not done with you yet, I'm going to take my time and enjoy you' Dean slid down his body and kissed his hard length again making him bellow at the top of his lungs ‘ _every inch of you'_.

Dean used his beautiful, _beautiful_ mouth to suck him hard and ran his tongue over him until he thought he would go crazy. _Where the hell had Dean learned to do this?!_ **_He was expert at it!_** he couldn't ask, he didn't have enough blood left in his brain to form complete sentences, he could only yell and beg and plead unintelligibly as Dean kept sucking him hard then taking him out of his hot wet mouth to clamp down on him preventing him from coming, then cruelly licking him to exploding point again.

'Watch me' Dean _ordered_ 'do not take your eyes off me do you understand?' Dean gripped him hard and started tracing the shape of his perfect lips _with his throbbing cock_ and **he lost it completely** shouting at the top of his lungs, begging desperately for release, but Dean just took him into his mouth, squeezing the base of his cock, then licking him slowly from base to tip then laughing around a mouthful of him, the hot wet vibrations torture, as he increased the torment wriggling his tongue into the slit at his tip, making his cock harder than he ever thought possible, and near _purple_ under Dean's torment, _he couldn't take this!_ ‘Please' he begged again ‘please Dean, please let me come' his cock was so engorged it was painful the skin stretched so tight he knew he was going to burst if Dean didn't stop torturing him.

Dean sucked him almost down to his base ‘no wonder this hurt like hell yesterday' he murmured kissing and licking him ‘it's a lot to deal with' and _oh fuck_ _Dean was deep throating him!_ and he was roaring in pleasure, racing to the edge, but Dean was pulling him out of his beautiful mouth even as he was begging him not to, begging him to finish it, but Dean was ignoring him, squeezing his base and tip preventing him from climaxing _yet again_ as he was crying out in frustration.

‘Dean I can't take any more I'm begging you' he whimpered desperately his normally strong voice broken and ragged ‘Dean please it _hurts_ ' his voice broke on a desperate sob ‘ _let me come_ **_please'_**

‘No Sammy not yet’.

Dean moved up Sam's body laying over him completely his expression and slight half smile as he stared down at him pure malevolence, he was torturing him, and he was _liking it_.

Dean's hard cock was now laying hot and warm against his and he writhed under him trying to get some friction between their bodies, something, _anything_ to ease his torment, and Dean let him, _he was so close,_ his climax ready to burst from him almost instantly ‘ _not yet Sammy_ , I told you I won't let you come yet' Dean murmured against his lips reaching between their bodies and clamping down on his erection hard enough to bring tears to his eyes.

Sam's face contorted in pain and frustration as he bit back a desperate sob, the fight going out of him as he sagged against his restraints. Dean smiled at him his green eyes full of dark pleasure, as Sam lay underneath him watching him warily.

‘You promised to be good and not come until I told you to remember? Dean whispered darkly

‘Dean please I-’

Dean cut him off with a kiss, ‘You promised didn’t you’ he crooned stroking his hard cock.

‘Yes’ he seethed between clenched teeth his whole body tensing up.

Dean pulled his head back and stared down at him, 'Do you want me to fuck you Sammy?' Dean's voice was almost lazy, ‘is that what you want?'

Dean stroked him slowly, running his thumb over his over sensitised tip until he could only gurgle in response, his body bucking hard under him as he started rotating his fist, twisting him in his grip, his talented fingers deliberately driving him over the edge.

‘Dean **_please let me'_** Sam was begging through clenched teeth his eyes wild and desperate.

Dean kissed him softly in response, coaxing his cruel tongue into his mouth and coercing him into unclenching his jaw, the pad of his thumb on his chin pressing downwards and opening his mouth a little wider, until his tongue was swirling slowly around Sam's making him taste himself.

Tasting himself on Dean's tongue **_was driving him fucking crazy_** , until he was whimpering into Dean's mouth, bucking under him as everything caught fire, his entire body going into meltdown, complete frenzied overdrive as Dean was taking complete control, dominating his mouth while riding him, and stroking his tormented cock.

‘I asked you a question’ Dean snarled bringing him swiftly to the brink _‘Answer me'_ he commanded, clamping down and denying him release, making him bellow in frustration as he was writhing helplessly under Dean.

‘ _Do you want me to fuck you Sam_?'


	15. Taste

‘Yes' Sam bit out, ‘ **yes** _just please do it now’_.

‘But it's not as easy as all that, I mean have you done it before?' Dean's voice lowered two octaves, dark, cruel, and velvet, ‘have you let some other man bend you over and slide into that hot young ass of yours? has some other man made you his bitch Sammy?'

‘No' Sam groaned out desperately as Dean began jerking him off brutally hard making his voice garbled, his words tripping over each other as he cried out ‘no, none, _no-one,_ I swear I've never been with another man Dean, oh god, oh god, ah, _arrgh,_   _ **oh fuck,**_ I swear, you're the first, nugh,  _you're the first! A_ _h god,_   **p** **lease** **do** **n't** **stop,** _please Dean I'm so close, **please let me come** '._ **  
**

'No Sam', Dean drawled darkly squeezing his fist around the tip of Sam's cock, cruelly cutting off his ability to ejaculate while kissing the side of his mouth as he garbled and sobbed for release, unable to fight the tears that spilled from his eyes and ran down his sweat-dampened face as he was again denied climax by Dean's cruel hands. 'I'm not done with you yet'.

Sam was gritting his teeth so hard his dimples appeared and Dean found he couldn't resist kissing and licking the strangely familiar indents. Sam was hard as rock in his tightly clenched fist, and he increased the pressure to prolong his pleasure as Sam shuddered, sucking in his breath and biting into his lower lip so hard he kissed him to prevent him from drawing blood. ‘Why are you doing this to me?' Sam pleaded as he pushed his long hair off his forehead and stared into his face.

 _It was right there_ in his eyes, in his expression, even in his voice, _all of him was broken,_ tears were sliding out of his multifaceted eyes, his pupils huge, blown wide with lust and desperation, the whites tinged with red as he sobbed in frustration trying to turn his face away.

‘Look at me’ Dean commanded ‘don't try to run from me, don't hide, I want to see  _everything_ in your eyes, I want to know if this is what you really need', Dean kissed along the side of Sam's face his voice low as he husked in his ear 'do you  _really_ want me inside you Sam?

Sam could only nod miserably, broken and defeated.

'Hmm, really? or would you agree to anything I want to do to you at this point just so I'll finally let you come for me?'

'Dean please' Sam moaned as Dean rubbed his beautiful damp body up against him, 'I can't take it any more'.

‘But what if I do it and it hurts hmm Sammy? what if it's too difficult? what if it gets tough? are you going to try to run from it? are you going to ask me to stop?'

‘No' Sam whimpered as Dean's masterful hands curled around his aching cock.

‘ _Good boy Sammy,_ because I won't stop not even if you beg me to _do you understand?_ Dean moved closer so there lips were touching, ‘I won't stop until I have what I want from you' he whispered darkly gripping Sam's jaw and kissing him hot and intense as if his mouth were a searing branding iron and Sam was _his_ , completely broken in and claimed.

Sam gasped as Dean slid down his body licking, biting, and making lazy circles with his tongue so close to his straining cock he could feel the heat from Dean's teasing mouth as his cheek rubbed up against it. ‘Stop it Dean' he bellowed desperately frustration burning into him, as he thrashed about trying to get into Dean's mouth, ‘ _stop fucking torturing me'_.

‘I'm not Sammy' Dean drawled darkly ‘I'm teaching you _patience'_.

'Ah, fuck, oh fuck, please stop teasing me' Sam cried out, 'his head falling back, his body shuddering uncontrollably as Dean was slowly, teasingly kissing the side of his cock from base to tip, cruelly backing off when his cock twitched in response weeping and straining towards Dean's tormenting mouth making him curse long and hard.

‘Language Sammy' Dean mocked amused ‘is that any way for a well brought up boy to talk?'

Sam started to believe the myths that a man could **_die_** if denied climax for too long might just be true after all, conflicting emotions surging through him, aggression and violence warring with desperation and helplessness as Dean kissed his tip running his thumb over the pad, and then pursed his beautiful lips to blow cold air on the pre-come welling at his tip, making him shudder harder, the different warring sensations of the now rapid hot kisses from Dean's soft heated lips and the tingling of the cruel cool air Dean kept blowing over his tip combining and making him shiver whilst simultaneously wracking his body with heated electrical bolts of raw pleasure. ‘Oh god, oh Dean, I'm going to, ah, please, aw, please  _can I come now? I'm begging you,_ please let me, I can't stop myself, I can't take what you’re doing, _oh my fucking god_ , keep doing that, please just _keep doing that,_ **_I'm coming_** _-_

'-No. _you're not Sammy',_ Dean whispered darkly, squeezing down hard.

'No, no _please don’t-_ Sam cried. 'Please-

‘-Ssh, sssh’, Dean crooned, kissing Sam's mouth and swallowing his desperate cries, whimpers, and objections, ‘be a good boy for me Sammy', Dean crooned while sadistically masterfully taking him back down a mere fraction, 'be quiet and don’t come until I tell you just like you promised'.

Dean was keeping at the brink, stroking and squeezing him expertly, so he was endlessly on the precipice.  _he couldn't take this!_  the constant intense pressure without an outlet was a torment like nothing he had could recollect ever experiencing before. ' _Dean please’_ he begged again as Dean expertly increased the torture a fraction so he was climbing up, getting closer and closer ... _‘NO!’_ he roared as Dean swiftly ruthlessly took him back down again _‘You're a **fucking cock tease**!'_ he bit out harshly, driven past his limits as Dean laughed low and sadistic, removing his hands and cruelly abandoning his swollen abused cock as he was again desperately straining for release.

'No, I'm just a more sophisticated lover than you kid’ he smiled slapping and rubbing his large cock teasingly over Sam's tight hole while slicking them both with pre-come and his own saliva. ‘does all that wham bam thank you man action you subjected me to yesterday actually work for you with the ladies?'

‘Dean please' Sam whispered quietly locking eyes with him ‘just _please'._ and Dean was suddenly intense all traces of mocking humour gone as he pressed his forehead against Sam's staring down into his eyes.

‘Alright kid' he murmured against Sam's mouth kissing him and entering him at the same time.


	16. Combustion

‘Too much' Sam sobbed against Dean's mouth ‘too big'.

‘Well now you know how it feels kid'. Dean's voice was dark and strained, ‘you are so tight Sammy, you feel so good, I don't know if I can last, keep still, stop moving like that it's bringing me too close'.

Sam cried out in pain as Dean slowly sank all the way inside him trying desperately not to struggle under Dean _but it really hurt._ With Dean constantly bringing him to the brink and then denying him until he was on the verge of exploding for he didn't even know how long he really hadn't expected this much pain, _and Dean hadn't even moved yet_.

Sam bit into his lower lip trying and failing to suppress the whimpers in the back of his throat as he helplessly tensed up against the stinging burning pain making him tighten even harder around Dean who groaned deeply in response, lightly slapping his hip.

‘I told you not to move' Dean drawled darkly ‘ _keep still_ , learn to take it like this or you're going to force me to start moving before you're ready. I prepared you well I went slowly and it _still_ hurts because you weren't lying to me were you baby, you really haven't done this before, I really am your first, _do you know how hot that makes me for you',_ Dean murmured against Sam's lips kissing him and swallowing his muted whimpers of pain ‘just hold on Sammy, I'm going to make it good for you, I'm going to take care of you, trust me okay Sammy, trust me'.

Dean started to move, very slowly pulling back then driving home again, the pain intensifying as Sam gritted his teeth _. Why did it hurt so much, this was what he wanted wasn't it?_

Dean changed the way he was thrusting and hit somewhere that suddenly made Sam cry out in shock.

‘Right there huh kid, Dean murmured expertly hitting the right spot again and again, 'that's where it's good for you'.

Sam tried to say yes but all that escaped his mouth was unintelligible gibberish as the pain was replaced with a feeling so intense that for the first time since Dean entered him he finally understood why Dean had ever let him fuck him more than once. It didn't just feel good _it felt amazing_ as Dean kept thrusting against that place inside him and each time he did he couldn't help moaning. Dean suddenly pushed in deeper and he bucked against the sudden pain, but Dean knew what he was doing, pressing expertly against _that spot_ slowly rotating against it deep and hard, driving him crazy as his whole body sizzled with sharp electrical bolts of pure pleasure.

'Are you going to come just from having me inside you Sammy' Dean teased mimicking what he'd said to him before, _‘I like that'_ Dean hissed intensely ‘I like playing with this perfect body of yours, I like taking care of you, I like making you do what I say, I'm so hard for you Sammy because your ass belongs to me doesn't it', Dean thrust harder impaling Sam on his length ' ** _doesn't it'_** he barked.

‘Yes' Sam whimpered, ‘yes only you Dean'.

‘ _That's my good boy'._

Sam couldn't take it anymore, he was having complete sensory overload. Dean had been tormenting him for what felt like hours and now he was torturing the pleasure spot inside him while still denying him climax.

‘Please' Sam moaned ‘ _Dean please_ '.

‘Please what Sammy? Do you want more of me? Do you want me right _here_ ' Dean slammed hard against _that spot_ reducing Sam to a shuddering wreck. ‘Is this what you want Sammy?'

Sam tried to speak but his voice disintegrated into loud moans and desperate pleading.

‘ _Answer me Sammy_ Dean demanded.

‘Yes' Sam sobbed defeated ‘Yes I want more'.

Dean kissed Sam hard ‘Anything you say kid, but you have to keep quiet and take it until I say you can make a sound, until I tell you can come'.

Sam clenched his jaw expecting the kind of hard manic -about to come with every thrust- pounding he had given Dean both times he had had him, instead Dean started to rotate and move in him expertly, and he was writhing and moaning and losing the fight not to cry out desperately and beg Dean to let him come in a matter of moments.

Dean ran his hand over Sam's perfect chest and pinched his nipple hard making electric bolts of pleasure shock him, as Sam whimpered desperately and Dean ran his hand down Sam's hyper sensitive ribcage resting on his hip where he smacked Sam shushing him.

‘I thought I told you to keep quiet until I said you could make a sound Sammy?'

‘ _Dean'_ Sam cried out and he realised he was actually sobbing, _that Dean had broken him to this extent._

‘Yes Sammy I'm here' Dean murmured, his lips against Sam's kissing him and swallowing his desperate cries and pleading. ‘It's all right Sammy it's all right'.

Dean suddenly altered his thrusting, pushing up on his knees and slamming into Sam hard.

'You ready Sammy, you ready to come'.

‘Yes, yes, please _fuck, **Dean** **'**_.

Dean slid his hands under Sam growling 'I love this perfect ass of yours', while pulling him up over his spread thighs so he could pound into him deeper. ‘now baby **_now_** ' Dean growled pounding hard and fast as Sam bellowed in delirious pleasure, his orgasm bursting from him in long hard spurts marking them both. It went on and on, until he couldn't believe he had anything left, _until he thought he was going to pass out,_ but it still wouldn't end, because Dean had denied him so long he was now coming so hard _it was going to fucking kill him,_ and all he could do was whimper and moan, twisting against his restraints, begging Dean to make it stop, to untie him, because  _he couldn't take any more,_ he was strung out, delirious, over sensitised; his body shuddering and convulsing, seed still spurting from him as Dean kept him mercilessly on the edge, kissing him and murmuring, 'come on baby, you can take it' as if mocking his unintelligible gibbering pleas, as the intensity ratcheted up to breaking point, the bed frame creaking as he was thrashing harder against his restraints, feeling little electrical pin-pricks of pleasure every place Dean's lips touched as Dean was kissing his way across his cheek to his ear.

‘Good boy, good boy Sammy', Dean whispered darkly in Sam's ear while rubbing every drop of Sam's explosive climax into their skins as if anointing them with precious oils 'you came _so **hard**_ for me baby'.

'Oh god Dean, please’, Sam moaned desperately unable to say anything else because Dean was kissing him and stroking his tormented cock while rubbing his seed into their bodies and praising him, telling him he was good, _which was making him come even harder,_ his whole body racked with contraction after contraction, and even as his seed finally stopped  _he was still coming!_  Oh god _he couldn't take this,_  his whole body was shuddering so violently as Dean kissed a trail to where he had bitten him yesterday it was like he was being consumed by sensations, heat, chills, pleasure, pain, it was as if Dean was stripping him down, destroying and rebuilding him, taking over his body and using it as his plaything, _and he could do nothing to stop him, because this was **beyond anything** he could have ever have imagined._  He only hoped he could survive it as an aftershock was slamming into him while Dean was licking the sensitive skin where he'd bitten him, running his tongue over the dark impression of this own sharp teeth and suddenly ruthlessly biting into him, making him bellow in pleasure and pain, **_driving him fucking crazy_** , making him growl like an animal as Dean was suddenly gripping his hips, forcibly holding him down, while rotating and slamming into him even harder, and his mouth was opening in shock, but he was unable to make a sound because he was drowning, swept up on a tidal wave and smashed ruthlessly upon the sudden intensity of a second violent climax, or was it the same climax, _had he even stopped coming_! 'Oh god, oh god, Dean, fuck please, I can't take it' he half shouted half sobbed deliriously, because Dean was showing no mercy, ruthlessly driving him over the edge as brutal ecstasy was crashing into him, his sudden strangled roars cut off in his throat as Dean was aggressively fucking him through his climax, making wave after wave of violent pleasure wrack his body.

‘Oh fuck' Dean moaned kissing Sam's mouth as Sam whimpered and tensed up against a brutal aftershock that left him shaking. ‘Watching you come like that was too fucking hot Sammy, I won't last much longer, do you want me to come now, can you take it? I want to watch you taking every last spurt, _you look so fucking beautiful when you're sobbing my name and trying to take all of me'_. Dean's hips sped up as he pounded harder and faster ‘that's it, that's it Sammy, _I_ _love watching you taking me'._ Dean lowered his mouth to Sam's ear his voice dark  and low ‘I'm gonna come inside you’ he growled _‘I'm gonna make you **mine’**. _ Sam whimpered out his name as their eyes locked and it pushed him hard over the edge, his climax came crashing into him, forcing harsh sounds from the back of this throat as he grit his teeth trying to keep thrusting inside Sam who was tightening around him so hard he could barely move, his seed surging hot and fast into him as he spread his own knees wider, arching up, gripping Sam's thighs, pulling him down harder on his cock as he was ramming into him, 'ah god, you're making me come so fucking hard Sammy, you're so good baby boy, _you're so fucking good’_ he growled, his head falling back, his eyes slamming shut, his climax rampaging through his body as he was shuddering violently with the force of it, ‘Sam, oh god **_Sam’_** he ground out laying over him and taking his mouth in an all-consuming kiss.

Sam was struggling helplessly against his restraints, because he needed to touch Dean, needed to slide his hands over his body and hold onto him, but the silk ties now damp with his sweat were bidding him even tighter as Dean rode him, their hot wet bodies grinding together, the friction _unbearable_ against his over sensitised skin as Dean punished him with his last thrusts making him cry out his name, sobbing it helplessly into his mouth as Dean pushed him beyond what he could take.

Aftershocks were slamming relentlessly into them, harsh electrical jolts of pleasure sparking from one to the other making them both shudder violently and Sam was sagging against his restraints, feeling the hot moist puffs of Dean's breath against his neck as they both struggled for breath.

‘Oh fuck, Dean growled breathlessly, running his tongue across Sam's jaw and kissing his way to his mouth, ‘oh baby _, that was amazing'_.


	17. Explosion

Sam fought for air as Dean was kissing along his neck in all the places that made him crazy. Another aftershock rocked him hard and he couldn't suppress the whimper that escaped his mouth as his whole body shook.

‘Sammy' Dean growled ‘don't even think for a moment that I'm done with you yet'.

Sam opened his mouth to object but Dean was staring down into his eyes, and he was once again struck with the feeling that he had been looking into these eyes forever, he knew Dean,  ** _he knew him_ ,** this thing between him and Dean affected him so intensely Dean could get him hard without even trying, all he had to do was look at him just like this, because something about staring into Dean's fascinatingly beautiful emerald eyes turned him into a rock hard seething animal desperate to fuck him, and Dean clearly knew it,  _he knew the effect he was having on him,_ knew he was **_wrecking_** him as he helplessly stared up at him, his eyes roaming Dean's beautiful face, taking in every fascinating detail for a moment, so overwhelmed he was trembling.

Two nights ago he'd faced a murderous supernatural enemy and he'd barely flinched, yet Dean had reduced him to this without even trying, it didn't make any sense, but he couldn't fight the effect Dean had on him, all he could do was raise his head, desperate to kiss Dean, to taste him, to nibble at the barely perceptible borderline sadistic smile tugging at the corner of his beautiful mouth, but Dean denied him even this, lowering his head so he couldn't reach his mouth or look into his eyes any more, his soft hair brushing his throat making him shiver inexplicably, pleasure and frustration warring within him as Dean was pressing his soft lips to his throat, the pressure to explode building as Dean destroyed him like it was nothing, bringing him to the brink with gentle kisses as he trembled, completely overwrought because Dean was still inside him, marking him, owning him, drowning him in sensations, and god he needed to touch Dean, but he was tied down, denied what he craved, and this was the worst torture Dean could have devised because he couldn't use his hands, couldn't hold him, stroke him, couldn't run the tingling pad of his thumb over his beautiful lips, couldn't pull Dean's face to his, his thumbs stroking the flawless cut of his cheekbones as he devoured his mouth, forcing him to surrender to him, so he _could **take** him, **mark** him, **claim** him,_ it went far beyond simple want, it was _need_ , god he _**needed**_ it.

 _Not being able to touch Dean was driving him insane_  as Dean kissed his way across his chest unexpectedly biting hard into his shoulder, grasping his cock and stroking him fast in his fiercely tight fist the action hard and rough _, just how he liked it,_ his breath caught sharply in his throat as Dean was making him go from hard to -about to come rock hard-, but it was almost against his will because he was strung out, wired, delirious, and Dean was being so merciless it bordered on cruelty. ‘No, Please Dean' he all but sobbed ‘please enough, _I can't take any more, I need to touch you, please untie me'_.

Dean's smile was pure decadent malevolence,  ‘No Sammy' he drawled softly ‘you have so much more in you, and I want _everything_ you have to give, I told you I wouldn't stop even if you begged me too, _I **warned** you didn't I_ , it's too late to try to run now Sammy'.

Dean's gentle kisses across his throat, the sharp little bites sending pin pricks of raw electrical pleasure skittering across his nerve endings, the way Dean was husking 'I'm not done with you yet baby boy' in his ear, all of it was driving him fucking crazy, and all of a sudden Dean was kissing him hot and hard and he was frenziedly responding, groaning in pained pleasure at how big and hard Dean felt as he ground into him slowly still rammed deep inside him'.

Dean broke the kiss his lips against Sam's murmuring ‘I'm going to make you come again Sammy, then I'm going to fuck you until you're screaming my name, I'm going to teach you what surrender really means, _and you're going to learn'._  Dean kissed a hot path across his whimpering mouth and Sam tensed up moaning and crying out desperately as Dean stroking him while murmuring darkly 'you're going to be good for me and do what I tell you to aren't you baby boy' reduced him to a shuddering wreck.

‘Dean please you can do whatever you want to me, _later,_ I just- I can't take any more right now'.

Dean eased his hard length out of him slowly, and he sobbed in relief, but his reprieve was short lived as Dean shushed him smacking his hip hard.

‘I am going to fuck you again Sammy and nothing you say to me is going to change my mind', Dean lowered his mouth to Sam's and whispered ‘in fact, I'm pretty sure I can get you to _beg_ me to do it'. Dean tugged a fistful of Sam's long hair forcing his head back with cruel precision,  ‘Do you really think you've had enough?' he whispered in between smouldering hot kisses, ‘Does he?' Dean reached down between their heaving bodies and grasped his hard cock stroking it then guiding it to his own, masturbating them both together in his tight grip, his talented hands racing him to the edge again, as he cried out torn between wanting Dean to stop tormenting him, and the inexplicable overwhelming urge to obey him as Dean lay over him riding him slowly their muscled chests sliding against each other their hot wet cocks rubbing together as Dean was making him unbearably hard and dripping wet, groaning aloud at the sensations as Dean's expertise _**ruined**_ him; would he ever want anyone else to touch him again?-  _did Dean even understand what the fuck he was doing to him?_ He couldn't take this, **couldn't** , his blood felt like fire burning in his veins, his head was pounding, his vision darkening, he could feel himself starting to lose it as the all-consuming primal lust that drove him to commit wild savage acts on Dean every time he fucked him began to take over.

As if sensing Sam was about to explode Dean fused their mouths giving Sam long slow drugging kisses stroking his hard body gently like he was a wild animal that had been spooked and needed to be calmed down before it broke the fence and bolted. As soon as Dean coxed Sam into a slower rhythm he worked his hips expertly riding him to fever pitch again.

Sam moaned desperately into Dean's mouth because if Dean kept doing that any minute now he would either be coming or begging Dean to fuck him or both, Dean was right _he could get him to beg_ , the way Dean affected him just wasn't something he had any control over.

‘Do you really want me to stop? Sammy?' Dean murmured almost cruelly against his lips. He couldn't think straight not when Dean was riding him like this, not when he was stroking and kissing him. ‘I don't think this is enough for you, I think you need more, but you say you can't take it, _let's see who's right Sammy you or me_ '.

Dean's beautiful smile was pure mischievous evil as he stared into Sam's eyes for a moment then licked a wet path down his perfect body until he was kissing and licking his hard length. ‘mmm' Dean moaned ‘you taste like you're ready to come to me Sammy, but I thought you were done? I thought you wanted me to untie you?'

Sam gritted his teeth _had he said that?_ He didn't even know what was going on anymore because oh fuck, _the things Dean could do with his mouth._

‘You're gonna come for me again and again Sammy' Dean growled, ‘I'm going to make you and I'm going to enjoy it, in fact, I'm thinking anyone can come twice, even three times _but how about four?_ '

‘Dean' Sam hissed desperately as Dean started sucking him hard _‘are you trying to fucking kill me?'_

The vibrations from Dean's hot wet mouth as he laughed in response made Sam jerk hard against his bonds, but Dean was clearly some kind of fucking expert at tying knots because no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get free, in fact, the harder he struggled the tighter the knots became, he could only lay there twisting helplessly against his bonds, desperately moaning over and over as Dean sucked him. and at this point he was pretty sure Dean could make a fucking marble statue come with that mouth if he put his mind to it, _he didn't stand a chance_ , there was nothing he could do, _Dean was too good_ , and no matter how fucked out he was Dean was making him come again as he wriggled his tongue into the slit, nibbling his tip then swooping down and deep throating him, which was more than he could take, his back arching off the bed as he howled ‘Dean for fucks sake _I'm begging you_ don't torture me any more, please let me come this time  let me come, please fuck just let me, yes, yes, Ah god _, you're sucking it out of me_ , oh fuck you're so good I want this even if it fucking kills me, _I want this,_ I want to pour it down your throat so fucking badly you have such a beautiful mouth Dean it's just made for this, oh fuck' he panted ‘yes Dean suck me, suck me, oh god I love your mouth it's so perfect when you're kissing me and telling me you want to fuck me and oh _I love it when you kiss me_ \- ah fuck argh- ‘ his voice disintegrated into desperate moaning as he came in blistering torrent of heat and Dean all but _killed_ him as he drank him down _then licked his lips as if he was delicious._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost chapter twenty already and Sam and Dean have spent a good deal of that getting hot and sweaty in bed, oh dear for all those who just can't stand all the hot sex I promise more plot is coming soon, just please try to bear with all the sex until then ;) and please remember there is a point to all this sex, it is plot driven sex... if that makes you feel any better
> 
> Sorry for the delays, it is finals time at university for the final year of my degree and I am swamped so please forgive ;)
> 
> Special thanks to Aaonnah for letting me know that this chapter got posted twice! I'm not sure how but I'm guessing posting at stupid O clock in the morning while half asleep might explain it! Sorry for the mix up


	18. Aftershock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey To anyone still reading this! I have been away for a long time, but My degree is finally over and I got a crazy good mark, so I can't stop smiling about that! graduation is about 3 weeks off, so while I still have a business to run, (and a very neglected social life to look at doing something about... then again that's what tumblr is for surely?!) I at least have Sundays to write now, the only question is do I still have it?!!! please be kind and review and let me know!!! Thank you so much for the kind words of encouragement and support while I was busting my hump through college and university with my degree, its been almost five years with A levels, HNC/D and university degree, but it has finally all paid off!- and I may currently be a starving peasant, but I'm a starving peasant who fought to get a degree and will continue to live on ramen rations proudly while I work on my business (and hopefully make two pennies to rub together)!!

Sam was amazed he was still alive as he collapsed onto the bed completely and utterly spent, but Dean didn't give him a chance to recover, kissing him hot and demanding as he panted for breath caught up in his helpless yearning, his body arching up to continue the kiss of its own volition even as Dean was teasingly tormentingly backing off out of his reach making him struggle helplessly against his restraints for what felt like the hundredth time.

Their eyes locked and held as Dean stared down at him and his whole body started to tremble, deep waves of sensation washing over him as he hardened under Dean's gaze _; **How did Dean do that?** How could he get him so damn hard just by looking at him?_

Dean's beautiful lips tugged at the side in a barely perceptible half smile both innocent and dark, his eyes  mesmerising and full of mystery as if he knew what he was thinking, yet would never tell him how he had him so at his mercy, instead he would leave him writhing and desperate for his touch; and God he needed to sink his teeth into Dean's full teasing lower lip, to invade his mouth with his tongue and chase the vestiges of his own taste from its warm sweet interior.

‘Please' he mumbled, because he had no sophistication against Dean, no armour, no artifice, just the raw truth of his overwhelming need, and as if Dean knew he was at breaking point with being restrained and denied, he lowered his beautiful mouth to his and kissed him, but it was lightly, teasingly, never really giving him anything but soft closed mouthed kisses as he tried frantically to deepen the kiss, to taste more of Dean's tantalising mouth, but the harder he tried the more Dean pulled back, making Sam bite into his lower lip, stifling a desperate growl because  _Dean's addictive mouth was his undoing,_ his beautiful emerald eyes had him completely under his spell, his delicious body was making a craven beast of him, but in this moment he didn't care,  in this moment he craved his own destruction at Dean's hands so much he wanted to go up in flames under his demanding body as much as he wanted to break free and fuck Dean into the mattress. He couldn't understand himself, couldn't recognise this new urge to obey Dean even as he ordered him to lie still while he straddled him, using his skills to cruelly drive him towards the edge again, masturbating him expertly and forcing pre-come from his abused cock, which could no more resist Dean's sophisticated torture than his fevered mind, which was reeling from hours of bondage and sexual torment.

Sam gritted his teeth as his cock started to throb, so engorged it grew painful, he couldn't think straight, could barely breathe, the pressure to come building and rising, his body convulsing as Dean ran his thumb over his tip.

‘Dean please' Sam begged through clenched teeth ‘you're making me so hard, please let me come, I just _can't_ take any more'.

‘Not yet Sammy' Dean purred dark and velvet, slowly circling the tip of his other thumb around the tight ring of muscle ‘I told you I was going to fuck you again _and I meant it_ '.

‘Please' he hissed desperately his back arching his face contorting as Dean suddenly squeezed his cock harder, switching from the teasing sophisticated stroking he excelled at to the fast rough tugging he couldn't fight because it was pulling his orgasm from him, making him curse out loud as he knew no matter how he begged Dean would cruelly deny him as he had over and over again.  

Dean lay over him, and he cried out as sparks of red hot electricity seared his body. ‘You feel that don't you' Dean murmured kissing along the side of his face, but he couldn't answer because his skin was sizzling as the intense connection between them raged out of control robbing him of speech, ‘it's crazy between us, so I'm not going to let you come yet because I want you to last, so when I'm rammed deep inside you, when I'm making you sob my name over and over, and you're making me crazy because you're being such a good boy for me'- Dean kissed Sam's ear sinking his middle finger all the way into him and going for _that spot_ , forcing Sam's breath out in a deep hiss as Dean purred darkly in his ear- 'maybe then I'll let you come for me'. 

‘Please' he cried again because it was the only word he could form, the only expression he could make, as he was bucking up against his restraints, looking down at himself imprisoned in Dean's fist his whole body shaking uncontrollably as Dean kept up the torment until he was delirious, until he was sure he was going to explode into flames and die, his mouth falling open to beg, but he could only pant and groan, sucking in his breath skewered between pain and ecstasy as Dean pushed into him again skilfully working two fingers inside him.

‘Keep still' Dean commanded. ‘You made me come _so hard_ in you Sammy, and now you're all hot and wet in here, but you're still too tight, even wet like this it will hurt if I try to do it now’. Dean lowered his mouth to Sam's 'you need to let me get you ready for me Sammy' he whispered darkly against his mouth _‘so I can fuck you hard the way you like it'_

Sam bucked and gasped for air as Dean scissored his fingers inside him sending waves of anguish intertwined with gut-wrenching pleasure crashing through him as he writhed and shuddered.

‘I _said_ keep _still_ ' Dean's voice was steel wrapped in dark velvet

'I can't, I can't, it's too much, please-

‘ _You really are a disobedient boy Sammy'_ Dean whispered softly, suddenly slapping Sam's cock hard, making him throw back his head and bellow as a sharp spike of pleasure lanced pain shot through his body.

‘ _Now lie still, keep quiet, and take it_ ' Dean ordered rotating and scissoring his fingers inside Sam.

'Dean please' Sam was twisting and writhing helplessly as he panted, struggling to form the few words Dean's torment had left him capable of saying 'Oh god _please'._

‘I thought I just gave you an order?' Dean growled ‘you know what happens when you're disobedient and you don't follow orders don't you Sammy?'

Dean slapped Sam's cock harder as Sam howled, thrashing against his bonds at the electrical sensation that shot through him, ‘oh fuck' he cried out desperately ‘that's gonna make me… Dean I'm gonna… but Dean was way ahead of him ruthlessly squeezing his cock until he had him well under control again, and for once he was relieved that Dean knew how to do that, because despite his begging for release he suddenly didn’t think he would survive Dean making him come again so soon after he nearly expired pumping everything he had into his beautiful addictive mouth. His reprieve barely lasted seconds as Dean began punishing him with his fingers, expertly rotating them inside him against that spot until he couldn't take it any more'.

Sam was panting hard, his entire body shuddering, his heels digging into the bed, his strong body arching as Dean spread him further with his knees, driving his fingers in and out of him. ‘you're tightening and releasing around my fingers, you need me inside you, _you're aching to be fucked_ , ask me to do it and I will' Dean lowered his lips an inch from Sam's mouth ‘I can make you feel so good Sammy you know I can, all you have to do is ask me'.

Sam's eyes roamed Dean's face. _Dean was so fucking beautiful, he had no defence against him, every time he looked at him he wanted to fall on his knees and thank fate or whoever for letting them meet. The way Dean affected him…it was more than he could handle._ The pressure on his body for release as Dean continued to torment him broke through his endurance and he locked eyes with Dean.

Sam's eyes were silently pleading with him and Dean's eyes narrowed in response because it was _that **look**._ The same one Sam had used on him in his office that day, _that **look**_ had made him ask Sam to stay while he actually contemplated something as ridiculous as throwing his entire career away to run off and go ghost hunting with him. _He was beginning to think that he would give Sam anything he wanted if he looked at him like this._  

He kissed Sam gently, easing the way he was moving his fingers inside him ‘Tell me what you want Sammy' he murmured against Sam's lips.

‘…You… ‘I want _you_ '

Sam's sounded utterly broken, his voice so low he could barely hear him, and he couldn’t understand why Sam -who just a short time ago had revealed in aggressively shouting at him to suck him while pumping his orgasm violently hard down his throat- had suddenly switched to his almost shy, outside of the bedroom self, _but mother of fuck it was making him hard._

‘You want _me_ huh, well you have me Sammy, I'm right here touching you’, Dean lowered his lips to Sam's and whispered ‘kissing you, you said you liked it when I kissed you right?', Dean kissed Sam coaxing a response from him, his expert mouth and tongue plundering Sam's with long hot and domineering kisses until they were both groaning loudly into each other's wet mouths.

‘Tell me what else you like Sammy, do you like it when I do this?' Dean rubbed his hard body over Sam's kissing the dimple in Sam's cheek.

‘Yes' Sam whimpered desperately loving the feel of Dean's hot breath on his cheek, loving his soft lips nuzzling and kissing his neck, loving the way the soft drag of Dean's silky hair was torture on his over-sensitised skin.

‘Do you like it when I do this to you?' Dean asked demandingly between hot kisses riding Sam hard, their wet cocks and hot mouths rubbing together as he twisted his fingers inside of him 

‘Yes' Sam moaned against Dean's mouth running his tongue over his beautiful lower lip.

‘Tell me what else you want me to do to you'.

‘I want you to fuck me,' he sobbed helplessly against Dean's mouth.

‘Tell me you want me to fuck you hard' Dean growled, adding a third finger as Sam's eyes rolled into the back of his head ‘ _tell me you want me to make you come'_

‘Dean please' Sam cried desperately resorting to begging again because what else could he do, what else did he have left? How could he make Dean understand what this was doing to him, ‘Dean please, please- I can't- you don’t- his words were fast tripping over each other as he desperately blurted out his feelings ‘I've wanted you since the first time I laid eyes on you- you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my whole fucking life- stop playing with me- please just fuck me! _I think I might die if you don't_ ' I can't take any more of this I feel like I'm going to go crazy’.

‘Fuck Sammy' Dean hissed stroking Sam to fever pitch while tormenting him with his fingers jammed inside him rotating against the bundle of nerves, ‘say that bit about dying if I don't fuck again _that has to be the hottest thing I've ever heard_ '.

‘Dean Please I… _I need you_ '.

Dean's eyes narrowed as he studied Sam's damp flushed face finally understanding the sudden change in him, _it was because he had Sam at the point where he was completely **his**. _

‘You have no idea how much I want to be inside you Sammy' Dean growled trailing hot demanding kisses over Sam's mouth and neck as he removed his fingers and replaced them with his cock, pressing hot and hard up against him, ‘I want you to look at me while I do this’ he commanded their eyes locking and holding as Sam obeyed him, ‘good boy’ he growled.


	19. Heat

Dean felt even bigger and harder than before as he pushed into him and Sam couldn't help the sudden tension that shot through his body his eyes slamming shut.

‘I told you to look at me’ Dean growled.

‘Ah fuck, _Dean’._

 ** _‘Look at me’_** Dean commanded pushing forward harder.

‘Fuck, hurts’ Sam ground out in strangled tones.

‘Shhh' Dean whispered against Sam's lips slowly working his way into him ‘Only for a little while Sammy, then I promise I'm going to make it good for you, just trust me like you did before'.

Dean was slowly filling him and although he'd begged for it the stinging pain was still excruciating, until he was sobbing ‘Oh fuck oh fuck oh Dean'.

‘You look so hot when you're crying out for me' Dean husked biting into Sam's lower lip hard enough to  distract him from the pain ‘are you gonna be a good boy for me Sammy? are you gonna take it all the way? Are you gonna take all of me?'

‘So tight' Dean hissed gripping Sam's hips, holding him still as he slowly pushed all the way inside him ‘relax for me Sammy’ Dean crooned in Sam's ear as he began expertly moving his hips in intense rapid circles, ‘let me make you feel good'.

Dean's hard cock was rooted deep inside Sam grinding against the sensitive bundle of nerves in unrelenting succession pushing Sam too high too fast his whimpers reaching a crescendo, a loud strangled scream as his entire body began spasming violently.

Dean slowed his hips, running his hands over Sam's body soothing and shushing him ‘it's okay Sammy, was that too much for you? Come here'. Dean fused his lips to Sam and caught him up in a all consuming kiss, his forehead against Sam's his hands cupping Sam's face the curve of his thumbs stroking and playing with Sam's dimples.

Sam was moaning into Dean's mouth as Dean's tongue was slowly intertwining with his as he kissed him, Sam moved his hips towards Dean as Dean ran his hands down Sam's sensitive rib cage until he was holding Sam's hips in his strong grip pulling him down roughly on his cock while kissing him languidly one moment then fast and passionate the next, his tongue mimicking the way his hard cock was moving inside him.

Dean lavished kisses over Sam's face and neck cupping his face again and fusing their mouths together. Dean stilled inside Sam and locked eyes with him ‘I'm not gonna show you any more mercy' Dean growled ‘I'm going to fuck you hard Sammy because that's what you need, you need me to fuck you until it makes you come all over us both. Are you ready?'

Sam's hazel eyes were luminous and wild and Dean felt their pull, their inexplicable sway over him. ‘You trust me, don't you Sammy? he crooned 'come on, tell me you're ready, tell me you want it, _it's so damn hot when you say that to me'._

Sam was silent for a moment, ‘my whole life, I've never trusted anyone more’, his voice lowered until it was barely audible ‘you can do whatever you want to me Dean'.

Dean's beautiful eyes narrowed ‘Sammy that's a dangerous thing to say to a man you got so damn hard for you'. Dean suddenly pulled all the way back then slammed home making Sam bellow his name as he did it again and again growling ‘you feel so good kid you're so tight I know you're telling me the truth, I _am_ your first and _I like it_ , I like it so much I don't know if I ever want to stop fucking you, stop being inside you, stop _owning you_ , you're mine when you're like this do you know that Sammy,  _mine_ and no one else's'.

Sam tried to respond but he couldn't speak his unrelenting cries tripping over each other, each cry joining another as he gasped for air.

Dean swallowed Sam's cries groaning ‘fuck you feel good, squeezing me so tight, so hot inside, you're burning up for me and it's making me crazy, you should see how hot you look right now. I love the look you get on your face when you're struggling to take all of me, it just makes me want to fuck you more' Dean cupped Sam's face and whispered dark and low in his ear ‘you are so beautiful _baby boy_ '.

Sam suddenly felt an intense swamp of déjà vu at Dean holding him and whispering ‘baby boy' in his ear but his brain fizzled out and became useless, he couldn't think any more he could only feel - Dean kissing him, running his hot hands over his body, sparking pinpricks of electricity in him everywhere he touched, Dean kneeling up between his spread thighs pulling all the way back and slamming home in long strokes as he fucked him, harsh urgent groans and growls coming from both their mouths as Dean changed positions laying completely over him kissing, stroking, and riding him. ‘You're so hard Sammy you're ready to come for me aren't you, but I changed my mind, I don't want you to come yet, I like it better when you're desperate to come but I won't let you'. Dean locked eyes with Sam watching him bite into his lower lip as he clamped down on Sam's hard cock growling ‘not yet Sammy, _not until I tell you'._

Dean was squeezing him preventing him from coming but instead of bringing him back down and building him up again he was somehow skillfully keeping him at the brink, the constant electrical pre-cursors to climax drenching his body and hammering into him became unbearable, building and building but not subsiding, the unrelenting intensity was more than he could handle and his cries reached a deafening crescendo as he thrashed and bucked under Dean.

Dean shushed him again kissing him and easing the pressure on his cock until Sam was whimpering like a wounded animal, loud and high-pitched.

‘Sammy you don't know what it does to me when you go wild like that' Dean seethed in his ear ‘I want to come inside you so badly right now, _you're driving me crazy'_

Tears slid out of Sam's tightly clamped eyes running down his face and wetting his lips ‘open your eyes Sammy look at me' Dean commanded as he kissed Sam's tears riding him deep and intense then fast and hard squeezing and stroking his cock at the same time.

Dean gripped Sam's chin slapping his cheek with his fingers ‘I said _look_ _at_ _me_ '.

Sam's eyes flew open as Dean smacked down hard on his ass ‘that's it' Dean hissed ‘look at me, let me see how much you like me fucking you, yes,  _yes_ , you're so good Sammy, _I love fucking you so much_ , now tell me who owns this' Dean growled darkly smacking Sam's ass again _‘_ who does this belong to?'

Sam reared up hard like a spooked animal and Dean stoked then lightly slapped Sam's hip.

Dean was grinding down deep inside Sam and he couldn't answer he could only bite into his lower lip and try not to scream at the intensity.

Dean's strong palm came down with a hard crack and Sam jolted and howled, Dean's voice was low and dark in Sam's ear ‘ _whose_ _ass is it?'_

‘Yours Dean yours' Sam sobbed defeated.

‘Good boy' Dean murmured rubbing the throbbing tingling area he had just smacked hard ‘you want me to make you come Sammy?'

‘Yes' Sam whimpered.

‘Dean's lips were against his, his tone dark and cruel, velvet warm and husky ‘okay Sammy I'll give you anything you want, all you have to do is tell me why I should make you come'.

‘You have too, _please god you have to'_ Sam begged.

‘No Sammy, I don't have to' Dean licked Sam's lips tauntingly pulling away every time Sam tried to respond then crushed his lips to Sam's his voice low dark and sadistic ‘I'm going to come in you over and over before I'm done with you Sammy, but I won't let you come, not unless you do what I tell you to, now answer me, _and answer me right_ why I should make you come?'

Dean started kissing him brutally hard and Sam couldn't answer.

Sam gasped for air and tried to speak while writhing, whimpering and panting ‘Because - I'll fucking explode - if you don't Dean please - I- _fuck_. _I'm begging you please'._

Sam's head thrashed on the pillow as Dean rotated his hips, expertly grinding against his pleasure spot, ‘not good enough' he growled, smacking his ass hard ‘I won't let you come just because you're begging me too, I asked you a question Sammy and I want an answer, when I want you to beg _I'll tell you_ '.

Sam sobbed ‘Dean I- I want you to- you should let me because… I-

 _‘-Tell me why I should make you come'_ Dean demanded, fisting Sam's hair roughly and forcing him to look at him as he fucked him harder.

‘Because I need you to, _because I want you more than anything_ ' Sam shouted desperately ‘because you're the only one that can make me come so hard I think I'm going to fucking die- _the only one'._

Dean locked eyes with Sam, his hand flat on his chest pushing him down hard forcing him to lie still while sinking his hard cock even deeper inside him making Sam scream, ‘be quiet' Dean growled smacking Sam's hip hard while rhythmically shifting his hips hitting Sam's pleasure spot in fast hard circles making Sam go crazy ‘I don't want to hear _anything_ out of you unless it's the right answer to my question'.

Sam sobbed into Dean's mouth wishing almost miserably that he had even a fraction of Dean's sexual sophistication then he would know how to react, in this situation he would know the right things to say, but he was out of his depth, in way over his head, _he didn't know how to play these games,_ everything he'd ever said or done to Dean had just happened spontaneously because he couldn't control himself around Dean, because he wanted him so badly, _what if Dean didn't want a lover that didn't know how to please him?_ If he had Dean's sexual skills he could compete with him on the same level, but he was beginning to feel like this was some kind of test and he was failing. His head began to throb, it was too much, _what did Dean want him to say?_   He knew how he felt inside, how he felt every time he looked at Dean, he just… he couldn't say it...

‘ _Don't make me ask you again_ ,' Dean growled smacking Sam's ass hard in rhythm with his hard cock plunging deep into him, his enviable skills pushing Sam's body past its limits.

Dean's fist tightened in Sam's hair as he lay over Sam, rocking into him, hard and deep, his hips picking up speed ‘ _I'm so fucking close Sammy_ ', Dean growled Pulling Sam's head back hard by his hair and staring into his eyes while grinding deep slow hard circles against his sensitive pleasure spot, the intensity was too much for Sam to take and he was unable to hold back any longer his feelings spilling out of his mouth.

‘Dean- I… from the first time I saw you I felt like I belonged to you, and that's why I don't want anyone else I just want you, _fuck me, bite me, make me come_ , anything you want because I belong to you, all of me, Dean,- _everything_ **_I_** _**belong to you'.**_

‘Good boy Sammy' Dean growled as he tasted Sam's lips swallowing his delirious cries of pleasure and pain as his thrusts became punishing ‘You do belong to me baby boy, all of you, and don't forget it,  _or I'll tie you up again and fuck you until you remember_ '.

Sam's large body started bucking violently ‘ _I can't take any more Dean_ '.

Dean eased his painful vice grip on Sam's desperately throbbing rock hard erection watching as Sam began erupting over his fist ‘that's it's Sammy, that's so hot, you're such a good boy, coming so fucking hard for me,' Dean growled catching some of his hard spurting seed and bringing his glistening fingers to his lips, ‘ _you taste so fucking good, **give it all to me** '._

Sam bellowed with the overwhelming intensity, because it was beyond pleasure beyond pain, _there was no way he was going to survive this_ ‘oh fuck it's… Dean … look at me, _look at me_ ' Sam begged _, ‘oh fuck Dean you are so  beautiful_ I'm coming so hard for you, don't stop, don't stop, keep fucking me you're so good Dean, FUCK'. Sam's back arched as he roared to the ceiling still coming in hot hard jets, shuddering as gut wrenching pleasure crashed into him un-diminishing even as the last of his seed finally shot into the air, his body still shaking violently sweat running freely down his face. ‘Oh fuck it won't stop it won't stop Dean ah fuck OH MY GOD' he shouted, overwhelming sensations slamming into him as fever pitch was ratcheting up to unbearable. ‘I can't take, it I can't take it, Dean please it's too much please'. Dean was showing no mercy pinning his shaking shuddering body down by his shoulders fucking him brutally hard as he was crying out ‘Dean I can feel you, I can feel you like you're part of me, inside me all over me, Dean I-'  Sam ‘was suddenly robbed of speech his throat closing off choking on his strangled screams of pleasure his body convulsing violently, dizzying waves of frighteningly intense pleasure crashing into him as his body and mind went into cataclysmic meltdown, stripped to raw senses, sound, smell, touch, taste, sight, all of them overwhelmed with Dean pinning him down harder, fucking him fast and rough, growling his name, coming inside him, his hot seed pumping and racing into him, filling him, marking him, while saying his name over and over, telling him what a good boy he was, how good it felt to come in him, how much he loved it, while kissing his mouth and biting hard into his neck sending his body spasming violently over and over, raw electricity running rampant up and down his spine, exploding into blinding flames, burning him, killing and-


	20. After Burn

‘You okay kid?’

…Sam blinked hazily, barely able to nod his head slowly in response. ‘You sure you’re okay kid?’ Dean asked again looking down at him, naggingly familiar concern stamped all over his beautiful features.

Sam’s felt like his head was full of fluff and he could barely talk ‘m’ okay Dean’ he finally managed to mumble ‘Mm fine, I just, it was a bit much that’s all you didn’t let me come for hours so when I finally did well... I...’

‘It’s okay Sammy’ Dean murmured gently kissing the side of Sam’s face ‘you had me worried there for a second’.

Dean was still hard inside him, but he pulled out gently eliciting a moan from Sam who was suddenly alive with sensation again. He had thought his previous climaxes with Dean were the most intense it could get without killing him, but he had been wrong- everything Dean had done to him while dominating him, _that_ was an entire level beyond what he previously thought he could survive, and he had been battered with the force of it; everything that had happened between them sexually since the first time in the elevator had flashed into his mind and gathered up as a momentous force slamming into him, _need, want, lust, love, Dean,_ until it was insane delirium beyond anything he had ever experienced before and it was more than he could take.

Dean was leaning over him, trying to untie his wrists, giving him free reign to watch his beautiful face while he was muttering that there was definitely no saving his ties. Dean shrugged his beautiful shoulders sighing that there was nothing for it and reaching over him to rummage in the bed-side drawer, the action bringing their bare chests into contact and making him suck in his breath at the almost painful jolt of electricity that sliced through him. He could have sworn he heard Dean groan faintly, but his golden-haired head was lowered and he couldn’t see his face as he snatched up a pair of scissors.

‘Knew I had some around here somewhere, now, _hold still’_.

Dean was using that tone again, and he wondered how Dean could make both a savage animal and an obedient slave out of him in the same breath, it didn’t even make sense!

Dean smiled down at him, _pure mischievous evil_ , it was the way the Dean he had been dreaming about often smiled at him, but he hadn’t expected it from the real Dean. He liked it, he wanted to see it more often; he also wanted an Advil and to bury his head under the pillow in humiliation as the full enormity of what had just happened to him finally sunk in... _Dean had made him come **so hard** he had blacked out for a second._

When Dean had passed out with him he had been week from that cleanse thing which didn’t let him eat food _and_ he was suffering from a claustrophobia induced panic attack.

 _This was not the same_ he was fed and fine when they started, Dean had done this to him using nothing but skill, it put once and for all the differences in their status to the front of his mind and it was humiliating; to make matters worse it was also the single greatest sexual experience of his entire life, nothing compared to it except when he had been inside Dean, now he didn’t even know which he preferred or what was going on anymore, and he didn’t care, he just wanted it to happen again and soon, but first he needed to sleep for like a hundred years.

He would have never thought Dean could be this way and he didn’t understand why he liked it; usually he hated being told what to do and baulked at authority, but some strange part of him secretly liked Dean sexually dominating him. He’d enjoyed dominating Dean to the point of going crazy on him, but he _never once dreamed_ he would enjoy it the other way around.

Dean had fucked him as if he was his, _as if he owned him_ and could do whatever the fuck he wanted with him just like he had done to Dean yesterday. In those moments it was as if Dean was everything to him and he belonged to him; even now he was _glad_ Dean had _made_ him say it... but still Sam thought, Dean had used his enviable skill to torment him and drive him crazy, _not brute force_.

He wondered if brute force was all he had to offer Dean; if that was the case Dean might just end up being the one topping because why would he want a lover that only knew how to pound him into oblivion when he had skills like that?- and since Dean was better at both topping _and_ bottoming than him, he knew he was going to have to _seriously_ up his skill level or risk losing Dean to a more experienced lover.

Sam watched Dean as he licked then pressed his soft lips to a red mark on his wrist from where he had struggled against the ties. He seemed exactly like the Dean Smith he had come to know; but just like him, Dean clearly had some dark sexual tastes, he was just infinitely better at hiding it. He wondered just how fucked up it made him that he thought this new side of Dean just made Dean perfect for him.

The dying afternoon sunlight bathed the whole room in burnished copper and again he was struck by just how beautiful Dean was, he was strong, he was brave, he was take charge and capable, he was smart, he was sophisticated, and unbelievably fucking gorgeous, and he didn’t just like to be dominated he knew how to give as good as he got, in fact he knew how to give _far_ better than he got. Sam’s eyes strayed to Dean’s lips then roamed his face, _I’m in trouble_ Sam thought as Dean was slowly kissing and licking the marks on his wrist, his beautiful mouth sending shivers up his arm, his captivating emerald-gold eyes sparkling as their gazes locked, _seriously deep trouble._

 

#  ** ************************** **

 Dean licked his lips and smiled, reducing Sam to a quivering wreck _was seriously hot_ , and being the first one to have him _just made it better_ , Sam was just staring at him looking so shell-shocked he couldn’t resist smugly saying ‘See kid I can teach you a few things’ Sam went from complete inaction to effortlessly picking him up and laying him over his hard body so fast he barely had the chance to think that Sam was really freakishly strong before Sam caught him up in a kiss so intense he stopped feeling smug about having well and truly schooled him and started feeling extremely hot again.

Sam looked into Dean’s eyes for a long moment and his heart started hammering in his chest ‘Dean I know this is crazy, and I still can’t escape the feeling that something isn’t right in our lives, but whatever it is I know it isn’t _this_ , you and me together, it’s _right_ , I can feel it, and… I _-’_ he took a shaky breath ‘ _I love you Dean_ , and I have from the moment I saw you in that elevator and realised the man I’d been dreaming about was you’ Sam blew out his breath unsteadily and mumbled ‘god, it sounds ridiculous when I say out loud you’re the man I dream about, _but you are_ , you don’t have to say anything back, it’s just… it’s just how I truly feel’ Sam’s voice lowered ‘I’m sorry if it’s not what you want to hear’.

Dean knew it was crazy he knew he should be letting the kid down easy and explaining it wasn’t love it was just mind blowing sex and that sometimes had the effect of making you think you felt more for somebody then you did, _but he couldn’t_ , every time he buried his face in the kids too long hair, or locked eyes with him, or kissed him, or touched him, he _knew_ how he felt about him, _he knew he loved him too_ and what was even stranger, even crazier than Sam’s confession, was that he felt he had loved this kid whose eyes he was looking into right now for a lot longer than the short time he’d known him, he felt connected to Sam, _intensely connected to him_ , in an almost insane _live for you, die for you, **kill** for you_ kind of way, but he _couldn’t_ say all of that, _maybe the damn kid was just braver than him_ , ‘it’s not crazy’ Dean murmured ‘There is something between us, I don’t know what it is exactly but it’s not something I can just walk away from; I won’t’.

Sam suddenly started kissing Dean frenziedly as he switched their positions pushing Dean on his back and, aggressively rubbing his hard body all over him licking biting and nuzzling everywhere; he looked into Dean’s eyes for a moment and then looked down at himself ‘Seriously how the fuck do you do that?’ he growled rubbing his sudden hardness up against Dean’s stomach, ‘I’m barely alive right now _and with one look_ you make me _so hard_ all I can think about is how _badly_ I want to fuck you’.

Sam grabbed Dean’s shoulders and pulled him up until they were both kneeling, kissing him hard, fast, and dominant, his hands travelling all over Dean’s body, squeezing his biceps, running over his chest, cupping his perfect ass, running up his back and tangling in his soft short hair as he held his head, kissing him long and hard until he couldn’t stand it anymore growling ‘ _Dean I’m gonna go fucking crazy if I don’t get inside you, **right now** ‘._

‘Sam I-

‘- _Come here_ ‘ Sam seethed grabbing his cock and wetting them both, ‘I’m gonna fuck you so hard _you never forget what I feel like'._

Dean cried out in pain pushing at Sam’s shoulders, as he forcefully drove inside him, and Sam clenched his teeth breathing hard for control, repositioning himself and opening Dean wider with his fingers while watching his face as he slowly slid inside him. ‘I want you to take every inch of my cock in this tight pretty ass of yours’ Sam seethed ‘Ah god you look so hot taking me Dean, yeah, _that’s it,_ open up for me, let me inside you’. Sam spread Dean wider his eyes slamming shut at the devastating bolts of raw electricity slamming into him as finally driving all the way inside Dean almost brought him to the edge, ‘You feel so fucking good Dean’ Sam growled quickly finding the right spot inside Dean and ramming his hard cock up against it repeatedly as he gripped Dean’s hips fucking him mercilessly hard and fast, as Dean cried out his name begging him to slow down ‘god Dean _what the fuck are you trying to do to me,_ the way you’re moaning for me, do you know how hot it’s making me? Come here _let me taste that mouth’_. Sam pulled Dean up higher on his lap spreading him wider and fucking him harder, ‘ _I said come here’_ Sam growled, pulling Dean’s head down so he could plunder his mouth while wrapping his arm around Dean’s waist keeping him jammed down hard on his cock while fucking up into him, until Dean’s reactions made him **_crazy_** and he lost control, pounding into Dean over and over, showing no mercy, dominating him completely.

Dean cried out his voice strangled in the back of his throat as his back arched and his seed began erupting from him ‘that’s it, that’s it, look at me Dean, I love watching you coming for me’ Sam seethed ‘ _it’s making me want to pound every last fucking drop out of you'_ ‘.

Dean went rigid against him milking him hard his orgasm continuing on well after the slippery wet heat of his seed coated both their chests and stomachs ‘oh god Dean’ Sam whimpered ‘you make the hottest face when you come, I think I’m getting addicted to that look, I think I’m gonna need to see it every fucking day as long as I live, oh fuck’ Sam’s face contorted, his whole body burning as he moaned ‘I can’t hold back anymore you’re making me come so hard Dean _fuck_ ‘ Sam threw his head back and roared harsh growls coming from the back of his throat as his arms tightened around Dean, his hand fisted in Dean’s silky short hair pulling his head back so he could savage his throat, his other arm still wrapped around Dean’s waist tightened in a vice grip keeping Dean’s shuddering body rammed down hard on his cock as he exploded inside him, his seed racing into Dean in long hard spurts his body convulsing hard with every jet, Sam rubbed his face against Dean’s neck licking and biting as he growled like an animal coming so hard he almost blacked out again.

Dean cried out collapsing against him fucked out in his arms and Sam fought the lust that was choking him urging him to fuck Dean more and harder and gave in to the overwhelming sensations of being inside Dean his entire body going crazy, rapidly breaking through to the place where it became dangerously intense and he was orgasming endlessly to death, fighting to stay with Dean, pushing up harder into him laying him on his back and thrusting into him, still hard, as the sensations hit insanity crashing into him, almost knocking him out and then sweeping him up again ‘how the fuck can it always be this good’ Sam cried out his voice a strangled roar as Dean moaned his name, and the wave crashed into him again darker, harder, faster, until he had no control left, growling biting and licking Dean, mauling him, fucking him harder and faster until Dean was begging and pleading with him, Sam tried to fight the part of him that went crazy when Dean did that covering Dean’s mouth with his hand, muffling his cries and pleas, as he fought hard to regain control, but it was useless as whatever the hell it was he had with Dean took him over completely, and he could do nothing to stop it as his body spasmed and bucked violently into Dean’s making Dean scream against his hand as Sam was strung out hard on endless delirium, driven beyond what he could handle, roaring with the sheer force of what was happening to him _until it broke him_ and he collapsed over Dean.

Neither could speak for a while, lying hot and dripping wet in each other’s arms loudly panting, gasping, and fighting for every breath, but even struggling to breathe Sam couldn’t stop kissing Dean’s neck, face, and beautiful lips.

‘That was insane’ Sam finally gasped still shuddering and fighting for breath ‘that nearly fucking killed me, I can’t believe I even had anything left in me, but you made me come _so hard,_ ah god Dean’ Sam gasped kissing Dean’s mouth hot, fast, and breathless ‘The things you can make me do, coming _five_ times _in one freaking morning_ is a new record for me, _you make me crazy!'_

Dean tried to speak and gave up his head collapsing into the pillow his entire body shuddering as he still fought to just breathe.

Sam shifted the weight of his hot wet body as he lay over Dean staring into his beautiful green eyes, his large hand cupping Dean’s face as he slowly ran the pad of his large thumb over Dean’s beautiful soft lower lip ‘Dean have mercy on me in future I’m begging you’ Sam murmured ‘because I think if you wanted to you could literally make me come until I fucking died, and I wouldn’t even _try_ to stop you because I want you more than I want to breathe’.

Dean’s eyes widened as Sam’s words made his body tremor harder, aftershocks still running riot through him as Sam held him tighter almost crushing him as electrical sensations sparked dangerously between their bodies. Sam stared at him intently, his eyes dark and filled with hot lust as they roamed his face and Dean valiantly fought the black spots dancing behind his eyes because passing out twice in two days would be unforgivably weak, _stupid fucking cleanse_.

Sam tilted up Dean’s chin and stared into his dazed green eyes, ‘Sometimes I look at you and I feel like I’ve always wanted you’ Sam’s eyes darkened until they looked completely black as he was murmuring softly _‘you’ve always been so incredibly beautiful Dean’._


	21. Rain

Sam’s pupils were the size of saucers, but as he locked eyes with him he couldn’t help seeing the absolute sincerity there… well just because he apparently meant it and it really wasn’t a line, didn’t mean he had to keep on _saying_ it!

‘Sammy come on’ Dean mumbled finally able to talk but almost too tired to make the effort ‘I’m not a chick, you don’t have to keep saying stuff like that to a dude’.

‘I don’t care’ Sam muttered, ‘it’s how I feel every time I look at you, I mean it, you really are just-’

‘Alright _enough of that_ you’re hardly lacking in the looks department yourself, so enough with the girl talk’.

Sam smiled and Dean wondered why it felt so familiar and satisfying when he got a flash of dimples.

‘I don’t know why but it makes me happy when you say stuff like that’.

‘Like what?’

‘Like no girl talk’.

‘Why?’

‘I don’t know, I really don’t it’s just… it’s like I _know_ that about you or something, it sounds crazy when I say it out loud’.

‘You know what’s crazy Sam, inexplicably knowing I hate chick flick moments and then giving me cheesy one liners! So if you _know_ that about me _cut it out already_ ‘.

Sam smiled at Dean and then kissed him rolling them both over to drier but cooler side of the bed thankful that Dean’s bed was huge _because they had made a real mess of it_.

Dean yawned as he let Sam pull him closer for warmth.

_He was out in seconds._

 

#  ** ************************** **

 

Dean opened his eyes slowly it was almost dark outside and he was starving. Sam had pulled him on top of him completely in his sleep, he tried to move but Sam had in locked in his arms.

Sam’s determined hold on him and how young he looked when he slept bizarrely reminded him of a child sleeping with its favourite stuffed toy that just so happened to be a person, he frowned at his own strange thoughts and instinctively pushed Sam’s unruly mop of hair out of his face.

‘Come on Sam we have to get up’ he glanced at his alarm clock, it’s eight in the evening, _man we crashed hard-_ but we can’t sleep right through until the morning, we have to shower, eat, and maybe burn the bed, I’m not sure anything on it can be saved and I’m pretty damn sure we weekend the frame beyond repair’.

Sam’s strong arms tightened around him like a vice as his mumbled sleepily ‘No Dean don’t wanna get up yet, stay like this’.

Dean couldn’t help smiling, _Sam sounded like a little kid who didn’t want to get up for school._ Dean nudged Sam awake and he opened his eyes slowly.

Sam was waking up with Dean in his arms for the first time ever and it had felt so good he didn’t want to move, in fact, right he didn’t want to let Dean out of bed ever again mumbling ‘M’ not hungry Dean let’s just stay like this until morning’.

The sudden loud rumbling of Sam’s stomach made Dean’s point for him where he would have replied and he watched in fascination as Sam’s massive black pupils receded and his eyes appeared hazel again.

Sam finally released his bear hold on him, and Dean batted his hand away as he reached out and started playing with his mouth, ‘I’m beginning to think you have a one track mind kid. Shower and food, _now_ , in that order, we can’t just spend the entire day and night in bed having sex’.

‘Bossy’ Sam growled sitting up and kissing him in a lightning fast move, Dean pushed Sam back when his pupils started that bizarre expanding until his irises were completely black thing, he was beginning to realise it was a precursor to Sam rapidly getting worked up to the point where he the word _no_ became a myth to him.

Dean gestured silently towards the bedroom door.

Sam let Dean get almost completely out of bed before pulling him back down on top off him and capturing his mouth in a hungry kiss, which of course was Dean’s own fault for being so _damn hot_ when he was bossy.

Dean unerringly ran his fingers over the same spot on Sam’s chest where he was sure he was missing a mark sighing ‘Sam Seriously, has anyone ever told you you’re insatiable?’

Sam frowned making the sides of his mouth turn down quickly as his brows rose, the gesture was so familiar to Dean all of a sudden that he couldn’t help staring.

‘I don’t know Dean I’m having trouble remembering anything about anyone else I might have slept with at the moment’.

Dean’s beautiful mouth became even more fascinating as he smirked making his lips twitch and pull up a fraction at the side ‘I’m that good huh Sammy?’

‘Yeah, uh no, I mean, that’s not a line Dean, I _really_ can’t remember’ Sam pointed at his head ‘I’m still a little ghost fuzzy or something’.

Dean stared at him with that familiar concerned look again and Sam couldn’t help touching his mouth _he wanted him so much._ ‘and yeah Dean’ Sam muttered watching Dean subtle reactions to being touched by him ‘You are _that_ good’. _I don’t care if I never remember being with anyone else_ Sam thought as Dean smiled at him one side of his beautiful mouth curving upwards while he slowly traced the pad of this thumb over Dean’s enticing lower lip, starting to feel intense burning hunger, but not for food; _maybe Dean was right, maybe he was insatiable,_ not to mention completely _obsessed_ with Dean’s mouth. Dean parted his lips a little and he was unable to resist pushing his thumb in between Dean’s soft lips into his warm wet mouth, Dean suddenly nipped his thumb with his sharp little incisors and growled at him, Sam sucked in his breath, he supposed that was Dean’s way of telling him to back off, unfortunately, he seemed to have forgotten that biting him just made him incredibly horny. Dean nipped at his thumb a little harder when he didn’t remove it, and the little electrical jolt of pain went directly to his cock making him hard and forcing a ragged moan from his lips.

Dean frowned, pushing Sam’s hand from his mouth and hissed ‘That wasn’t meant to get you hot Sammy, that was to get you to quit sticking your damn fingers in my mouth and let me up’.

Sam locked eyes with Dean, ‘please, just gimme a few minutes like this’.

... Dean sighed, ‘Okay, fine just a few minutes though and then we’re both getting out of this bed, I would never have had you down as one of the girly cuddling types’.

‘Believe me Dean, holding you like this, the _last_ thing I’m feeling is girly’.

Sam studied Dean’s face for a moment trying to figure out what it was about him exactly that had him so tied up in knots, yes he was beautiful but it was more than that, there was something about Dean that made him want to lock him up in a room and chain him to a bed so he could fuck him whenever he wanted to, he wanted to keep Dean all to himself and never share him with anyone else, Sam frowned, and blinked, it was also he was forced to concede quite possible he was going crazy, if you loved someone was it really okay to want to do that to them? Dean’s scent washed over him as a light breeze came in from the window, then a stronger gust of wind blew the curtains out, saturating him in Dean’s scent, actually making him lightheaded for a moment as he inhaled deeply, how could anyone smell so good, after hours of virtually non-stop sex? Well that settled it, he wasn’t crazy, Dean was just too fucking edible for him to deal with without wanting to do something drastic, besides, _Dean would look so beautiful tied to a bed, spread, naked, waiting for his touch, he would start with that mouth of his, and then-_

‘Will you _cut it out_ ‘ Dean snapped as if reading his thoughts as his hands ran over Dean’s chest curving around the back of his neck and pulling him forward ‘I’m dirty, I’m hungry, and I’m leaving this bed right now’.

‘Not yet’ Sam growled pulling Dean closer and kissing him hard ‘you don’t seem all that dirty to me Dean, in fact you look as perfect as you always do, let me make you _really_ dirty and hungry, come here’ Dean’s hands went to his chest pushing him back as he kissed a hot path across his mouth and face licking and biting his neck.

Sam just didn’t want to listen, so he was going to have to make him, Dean tangled his hand in Sam’s baby soft hair, holding his head still as Sam tried to kiss anywhere he could reach, then he fisted his hands in his hair forcibly pulling his head back and whispering in his ear, ‘you know you’re not just insatiable Sam, _you fuck like an animal'._

Sam started breathing harder as his head snapped up and their eyes locked ‘now you’re just making me horny on purpose’ he seethed his hands travelling over Dean’s body cupping his ass and pulling him forward ‘so you can cock tease me like you do so well’.

‘No I’m telling you I’ve had all the pounding I’m gonna have from you today, _shower and food Sammy now'._

Sam bit back a growl of frustration, he recognised that tone, he wasn’t going to get anywhere with Dean now unless he used brute force and overpowered him until he could get him into it.

Sam bit into his lower lip, fuck it was tempting, _too tempting_.

Sam reached for Dean, then stopped in his tracks, as their eyes locked _what the hell was the matter with him_? they had been in bed for hours, Dean had every right to call a time out so they could wash up and eat, why was he so determined to go another round first? Yes, he wanted Dean, when didn’t he, but something was… definitely _wrong_ with the _way_ he wanted him.

He didn’t want to admit it but occasionally -like right now- he was almost a little afraid of himself around Dean, this wasn’t the first time he had felt driven to taking him no matter what, and it was only getting worse, _was it really okay for him to keep almost wanting to rape Dean, when he was supposed to be in love with him?_ and where the hell did that even come from? most of the time, Dean didn’t refuse him, but the few times he did… he just wanted to ravage him harder _just because he was saying no_ , for a moment he wished he really did remember what he was like with other lovers, he would hate to think this was the sort of person he actually was, rather than it just being Dean he had a serious and disturbing lack of control and ethics around, but even as he thought it he knew the answer, _it just wasn’t possible that anyone other than Dean could ever get him this worked up,_ so remembering or not didn’t really matter.

He tried to ignore the feeling gripping him as he looked at Dean who was frowning at him in slight irritation as he continued to hold him still, yet Dean didn’t seem to realise that he was smoothing his hair back from his face absently his expression going from irritation to concern like it was second nature to him, the choking intense lust settling in his throat and gripping him in madness was whispering darkly to him-

**He’s yours you know that don’t you Sam?  
_He has been from the beginning_ **

Sam looked at Dean, trying to ignore the insidious whisper in his mind, no matter how strongly he felt about him, no matter how stupidly fast and insanely deeply he’d fallen for him, it was still plain _wrong_ to feel that you _owned_ another human wasn’t it? Sam’s head started to ache, _yes it was wrong_ , of course it was wrong, _but he couldn’t deny it_ , every time he looked at Dean, deep down inside he did feel a bizarre sense of ownership over him, some dark instinct inside him kept telling him that he owned him and could do what he wanted to him.

Sam swallowed as his cock actually got _harder_ as if in agreement with his brain for once. No matter how wrong it was, every thought, every feeling, every instinct he had screamed at him that Dean was _his_ , and his alone, body _and soul_ … _Soul_? Where did _that_ come from? The pain in his head kicked up a notch, throbbing and pounding as he was forced to accept that no matter what he would prefer there was nothing even _remotely_ civilised about his feelings for Dean, it was _primal_ there was no other word for it and maybe that was why he kept going into disturbing rapey mode around him, because Dean triggered something disturbingly animalistic in him and he didn’t know how to control it, and worse sometimes like now _he didn’t really want to_.

He had him now, _he had Dean_ , he had to keep, touching him, keep holding him, keep fucking him over and over again, burying himself so deep in him that he would _never_ lose him again-

_-what?_

Sam suddenly felt a blast of pain in his head so sharp it was as if some unseen force was pressing hard against his forehead, the pressure behind his eyes felt so tight it was like his eyes were going to implode in their eye sockets, he clamped his eyes shut but they were so hot they felt like they were burning inside his skull.

Dean, he was _missing_ something about Dean, some knowledge he should have but didn’t, the insane lust burning through him, the constant _need_ to have him, it was _too intense_ , it felt like it had been building until he couldn’t take it any more, as if Dean had been refusing him forever.

His head began to hammer like someone was attacking his brain with a pick axe, but he fought through the pain, because with each brain splitting strike, he could see, quicksilver flashes of Dean in his mind, flash, licking food slowly off his thumb in bed, flash, slapping him on the ass and walking away after someone thought they were a couple, flash, watching Dean sleep lying face down in bed wearing little black shorts, flash, almost kissing Dean when he was drunk after begging Dean to kill him if he ever became evil, his head was going to split, the pain,

 **Flash!** \- _Dean was being torn to pieces in front of him_

 **Flash!** \- _They were both screaming_

 **Flash!** \- _He was the only one screaming, Dean was silent_

 **Flash!** \- _Dean’s beautiful green eyes were empty_

 **Flash!** \- _Dean wasn’t there anymore_

He screamed as his head finally split open, spilling out hot and **red**.

Was that Dean shouting his name? it couldn’t be. Dean was dead. Wasn’t he?

No, Dean was right in front of him, there **was** a missing mark on his chest what was supposed to be there? Why was it gone? this wasn’t real, he was dreaming again, he was going to wake up in an empty room alone again, Dean was still dead.

He had tried everything, why wouldn’t any of crossroad demons deal? **why?** how was he supposed to get Dean back?

Back? … but Dean was gripping his shoulders right now wasn’t he? He was shouting his name? Dean was _in front of him now **right?**_

He just had to touch him, that was the only way to know for sure, Dean was his, no one could take him, Dean was his, he always had been.

The pressure in his head exploded making him scream out in pain, he had to touch Dean before it was too late _he had to know._

Blood was running freely from his nose, hitting the sheets at an alarming rate, his heart was pounding so hard it hurt, his body was on fire, his eyes were burning.

Whatever happened to him now, It was okay, it didn’t matter anymore he was touching Dean’s face, _he was real_ , he was here with him.

**_Nothing else mattered. _ **


	22. Red River

Sam! _Sammy_ , just hang on! I called 911, the paramedics will be here soon!’

Dean couldn’t help staring Sam’s pupils had expanded to the point where he couldn’t see any hazel in his eyes at all, and barely any whites they seemed completely black even though that was impossible; even stranger, Sam still seemed to be in some bizarre state of arousal and was acting like he wasn’t in pain all of a sudden, but he knew he was, he could _feel_  it.

It was strange being able to feel someone else’s pain so acutely, the only rational explanation was it had to be some intense amplification of the emotions that triggered you to wince when you witnessed someone get hurt, but it was way deeper than that and he knew it- but this was no time to worry about the stranger elements of whatever the hell was going on between him and this kid, first things first, Sam needed medical attention and he needed it now.

Sam was almost eerily calm for a man for who had been screaming and writhing in pain just seconds earlier, his nose was still bleeding and his strange eyes were travelling around the room as if he had never seen it before.

Dean held up the sheet to Sam’s face to try and stop the bleeding and Sam’s hand shot out a lightning speed gripping his arm and holding him still, his eyes travelling over him in a disturbing manner like a predator looked at pray. Sam pulled him forward burying his face in the space between his neck and shoulder and seemed to be breathing in his scent of all things before pulling his head back.Sam’s eyes searched his face and he nodded slowly.

Dean shook his head in disagreement to whatever Sam was nodding about because what the hell- ‘Sam what is it?’ Sam ignored him but his grip on his arm tightened as his eyes travelled over the room slowly again and went from side to side as if he was looking for something, or _someone_ crazy as that seemed. Sam’s eyes focused on a spot behind his head and his eyes narrowed dangerously, Sam gripped his shoulder with his palm, and his expression became so hostile Dean almost moved back, Sam’s eyes snapped back to him and he pulled him forward as if he meant to kiss him.

Dean pushed him back ‘ _you can’t be serious_ we need to stop the bleeding and you have to be seen by a doctor, this isn’t the time’.

Sam reached out to touch his face again, then slowly ran his hand down his cheek, narrowing his eyes until they were mere slits of black. He looked completely unhinged no matter how calm he was behaving and he wouldn’t quit with the face touching.

‘Wow, so this is what you would look like if you weren’t too stubborn to even think about wearing sun block, I kinda like your skin all perfect and porcelain like this’.

‘...Sam, you’re spouting gibberish’ Dean said slowly as if talking to an escaped mental patient, ‘firstly I’ve always had perfect skin thank you, and second, the paramedics will be here in a few minutes, now let go of my face and stay still until they get here, do you understand?’

Sam just stared at him, ‘god you’re beautiful’, he murmured.

 _Great. This again._ ‘so you keep on saying’ Dean snapped.

Sam’s face pulled into that naggingly familiar expression as his mouth turned down and his brows rose. ‘I do?’

‘Yeah even though I asked you not to’.

Sam pulled him even closer and studied him in a bizarre manner ‘well I’m right’ he said at last ‘you are, I just wish I could have told you before’.

‘Before what? nothing you’re saying is making any sense Sam. Look I think you should just take it easy until-’

‘-Yeah about that, I don’t need to be seen by anyone, I’m fine-  _really_ you can cancel the paramedics’.

‘Really, so the screaming and the head cradling, and the acting like you haven’t seen this room before when you’ve been in it all day, that’s all part of being _fine?_ Oh yeah and then there’s the fact that _you’re gushing blood_ ’. Dean’s eyes narrowed, ‘enough with the macho bullshit Sam, I just bet you’re the type that tries to stitch themselves up if they get cut and uses whisky as antiseptic- well listen up, either the paramedics are coming to see you here, or I am knocking your big strong ass out and dragging you to the E.R personally, either way, you are going to get medical attention, _am I making myself clear?’_

Sam ran his hand over Dean’s face, ‘You’re always so bossy Dean’.

‘Yeah, well, get used to it, now just take it easy Sam and stop being stubborn, you’re sick’.

Sam suddenly pulled Dean’s hand to his chest and held it where his heart was beating disturbingly fast. ‘I’m starting to think you’re right, the first time this happened I was inside you, and it made me fucking crazy, I just had to keep making you _mine_ , and now, I’m just sitting here, talking to you like it’s nothing, it’s so weird, all of it, although honestly I would prefer it if I woke up, _or whatever the hell this is_ , and it was like before, when I was fucking you and you were screaming my name; sitting here bleeding with you refusing to let me touch you is nowhere near as good’.

‘…and that officially tears it, you are seeing a doctor Sam _and that is final’_

There was a sudden loud knocking at the door and Dean leapt up.

‘…um Dean, not that I’m complaining but-

-Dean looked down at himself quickly donning his pants and throwing on his shirt while hurrying towards the door as Sam smiled. Dean noticed he looked more like his usual self if not completely disorientated, but at least his eyes weren’t all pupils dilated to maximum black again… _that was just weird._

He opened the door surprised to find the paramedics were two harassed looking kids who looked even younger than Sam. Dean sighed, _would it really have been so difficult for them to send at least one grown up?_ ‘Come on in guys the patients in the bedroom’.

Dean frowned and shook his head when one of them was still green enough to do a double take when he saw Sam in bed covered in blood. What was this his first day? What the hell was he looking so surprised about? and the other kid hadn’t quit staring at him since the opened the door.

Sam could only assume he looked crazy, hair on end, naked in bed covered in blood, but that didn’t explain why the paramedic was looking at him like that or why he couldn’t seem to stop smiling, and the other paramedic just kept looking at Dean as if he wanted to eat him, _or fuck him and eat him._ Sam narrowed his eyes wishing Dean would button up his shirt, standing there looking all bossy with his black pants riding low on his pale hips and his chest bare with his shirt open was just fucking _hot,_ and if he got hard now the stupid paramedic would probably think this was some kind of Viagra party gone horribly wrong.

The paramedic who had done a double take when he first saw him looked him over again still smiling and then nodded at his colleague who stared even more intently at Dean, ‘Can I talk to you outside for a minute?’

‘Why is speaking to me more important than examining him?'

‘My associate here is gonna take care of that while I ask you a few questions’.

‘If you think it will help' 

-The paramedic closed the bedroom door behind them, walked him away from it and then stepped right into his personal space. ‘Dean, Dean, Dean. So you just walk out of hell and shazam here you are with him, racking up those sins nice and proper, gotta say though, I can see where Sam’s coming from, don’t you scrub up pretty’.

‘I’m sorry, _what_?’

‘You two disappear off the face of the earth just like that, quite a trick, figure some of your wingmen stashed you somewhere, we’ve been looking for any trace of you, finally tracked a lead here, and bang a couple of paramedics rushing up, instant access meat suits, and lookie what we found, oh and I gotta say- I just _love_ how the nasty rumours about you two are true’.

‘Are you insane? what are you talking about?’

‘Figured it out now’.

‘What the, _what just happened to your eyes_! are you some kind of… **_ghost_** _?!’_

‘ _You cannot be fucking serious_! What were your pals thinking? You really don’t know anything, do you? This is just too fucking priceless, _no dumbass I’m not a ghost,_ man I’m gonna enjoy this, wish there was time to have a little fun with you first, but oh well _maybe after you’re dead_ \- you know what’s fucking hilarious? the great hunter, the one pulled out of hell himself, he’s gonna get killed by a demon, and he’s not even gonna know what that means or who he-

-Dean jumped in shock as blood splattered across his face and the paramedic fell to the floor, twitching and writhing as his blood sprayed out across the carpet, Sam was suddenly standing in front of him holding the scissors he kept in his bedside draw blood dripping from the sharp tip.

‘Sam! What- Sam lifted his head and Dean backed away in horror ‘-Sam your eyes … did the ghost do something to you?’

‘Shhh’, Sam’s eyes travelled around as he held the scissors like a weapon ‘there were two’. Sam pressed Dean back into the wall and stood in front of him as if guarding him. The second paramedic suddenly appeared in front of him _out of nowhere_ and Sam slashed at him with the scissors, he disappeared and then came charging at them knocking the scissors out of Sam’s hand, Sam struck out at the man quickly shoving Dean backwards, the man charged again and Sam stretched his arm out and the man halted in his tracks, Sam started wavering on his feet and Dean tried to get past him to defend them both, but Sam growled at him and shoved him back and the man suddenly came charging at them at full speed, Sam twisted around behind the man, grabbing his head and wrenching his neck until there was a sickening crunching snapping sound and he fell to the floor motionless.

Dean was gasping for air and backing away from Sam as Sam rose to his full height and towered over him looking down at him in the same strange way he had earlier.

‘Sam your eyes, what’s happened to your eyes? They’re the same as that freak who attacked me, what’s going on? what’s-

‘- _Calm down Dean_ ,’ Sam held out his arm, his hand palm up and black smoke began streaming out of both the paramedic's mouths, Sam wavered unsteadily and grabbed his forehead his face contorted in pain as he seemed to somehow force the smoke into the floor.

‘Sam! Why are ghosts attacking us here? can they get _in_ people is that what just happened, that guy who bought me out here, he said he was going to kill me and all kinds of other crazy things about hell and other ghosts looking for us, _do you know what’s going on_? are these ghosts after us because we killed Sandover is that what this is about? _Sam why won’t you tell me what’s wrong with your eyes-_

‘-I said _calm down_ , that wasn’t a ghost Dean, that was a demon, you would know that if you were… _you_ , I don’t know what’s going on, I don’t know even know where we are, and I feel like my head's about to split open’.

Sam suddenly pulled Dean forward pushing his shirt back off his shoulders, 'your tattoo is missing, that demon could have possessed you _what the hell is whoever’s doing this to us thinking_? I have to assume it’s bad guys or they wouldn’t have left us vulnerable like this, my tattoo is missing as well’.

‘Sam what the hell are you talking about?’

Sam suddenly pushed him back into the wall and his mouth came crashing down on his hot hard and hungry.

‘Sam-’

‘Shut up Dean, please, I need to do this while I’m still…’ Sam kissed him harder, ‘fuck I’ve been wanting to do that for so long, never thought I’d say this but I like you all prettied up and civilian, _fuck_ you’re beautiful’. Sam’s eyes narrowed as their eyes locked and he pressed up against him hard and ready, ‘I’m not even sorry’ his eyes were bizarre fathomless pits of dramatic darkness as he leaned in and kissed him then studied his face ‘I’m not sorry at all, _I wonder if that means I’ll be the one going to hell next’._

‘Hell? What are you talking about? _Sam you’re starting to freak me out,_ what do you mean that guy was a-

‘-No talking, not now, we can talk afterwards, who knows when I’ll ever get the chance to do this again’, Sam leant in and Dean pushed him back forcefully.

‘Never if you don’t start giving me some answers _and I mean now,_ what the hell just happened, who was that guy? Did you _pull_ that black smoke out of his mouth and somehow send it through the floor? How did you even do that, and-

-Sam cut Dean off with a kiss, gripping him by his shoulders and kissing him harder and faster, ‘I’m gonna fuck you up against this wall Dean, there’s gonna be no turning back from that’ Sam was breathing hot and fast ‘and I don’t care anymore’.

Dean pushed him back his green eyes sparking with fury, ‘just back the hell off and tell me what’s going on here, and don’t even _think_ about touching me, do you even realise that there are dead men laying on my carpet? You just killed them like it was nothing _and now you want to have sex up against a wall, **are you crazy?**_ I want an explanation Sam and I want it _now_ because you clearly seem to know something here that I don’t’.

Sam’s eyes were fixated on his shoulder and he didn’t appear to be listening. ‘Something’s _gone_ , Sam ran his hand over Dean’s shoulder, ‘I don’t understand, whatever it is I know I _hate_ it, I know it drives me crazy and I _know_ it’s supposed to be here on your shoulder but I can’t remember what it is’.

Sam suddenly rammed his fist into the wall beside Dean’s head ‘Ugh! Why can’t I remember anything clearly besides you? I’m so _hot_ , my eyes are burning, and _I want to fuck you so badly,_ god Dean it’s eating away at me like fucking acid in my blood, what the hell is going on? _where are we?_ Why don’t you know who you are? What’s supposed to be on your shoulder?’ Sam’s eyes widened as blood started to trickle out his nose, his words fast and tripping over each other ‘this kind of juice, to do this to you, only a few things have this kind of power, the question is which one, and why?- what’s the point of turning you into _this_? You didn’t even know what a demon was,  _he almost killed you._  I have to think, I have to remember, you’re in danger, you could get hurt like this, I can’t let anything happen to you, I won’t lose you, I can’t, okay- I gotta think, I gotta focus, I knew what that guy was, I knew how to kill him, but I don’t, it’s like it’s slipping away, _how did I know?’_ Blood began to flow from Sam’s nose, and he screwed up his face in pain punching the wall so hard a large crack appeared, ‘ _I have to remember,_ I have to fucking remember _damn it_ , you’re shoulder… that’s…’

Sam’s eyes suddenly flew open, _‘I have to call Ca-_


	23. Haze

…Dean?

‘- _What is the matter with the signal on this thing?_ ’

‘Dean, what’s going on, I remember feeling as if my head exploded and then… _nothing’_

‘Well that’s all there was, your nose started bleeding and you were holding your head and moaning like you were in some serious pain and then… urm…’ Dean rubbed his forehead and looked confused for a moment, ‘…and then I called 911, I mean… I’m trying to call 911, but I can’t get a signal all of a sudden, I usually have great coverage here’.

‘But the paramedics- and you almost answered the door naked- and then…’

‘-What paramedics, what are you talking about Sam?’

‘Argh, I feel like someone’s pressing my forehead so hard they want to push their damn fingers into my brain’

‘Just hang on okay, I’m getting help’ Dean stared at his expensive phone in disgust ‘seriously you have to go and break on me now?’ Dean tossed his cell phone aside and reached for the landline ‘Okay this is just weird, the line is dead, _what the hell is going on_?’

‘None of the phones are working?’ Sam looked around the room, then stared out into the hall, ‘stay here Dean’.

‘Wait, what, no, NO- don’t even _think_ about trying to get up Sam, you just stay still until help arrives’.

‘Dean I _have_ to check the hall’.

‘What on earth for?’

‘Dean, look at me, _did… did two men come here?_ ’

‘No’.

Sam’s head jerked back as if some invisible force had shoved it and his eyes darkened dramatically fast, ‘Dean hang up the phone’ he growled ‘ _don’t call anyone here’._

‘I’m not on the phone Sam, they’re not working, but I’m going to get you a doctor, don’t worry’.

Sam studied him with his weird almost completely black eyes, ‘I still can’t remember what’s actually going on’ he murmured almost absently, ‘but I don’t need a doctor- I just... I just need you'.

‘Memory loss- well that’s a good sign! _no reason at all for any sane person to call a doctor at all_ ’ Dean barked.

Sam closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead when he opened them again they were hazel and his forehead wrinkled in confusion, ‘… I’m getting blood all over your bed, I’m sorry’.

‘I don’t care about that’ Dean snapped bunching up more of the sheet under Sam’s nose. ‘I was probably going to have to burn the damn bed anyway, now shut up and lie down’.

‘M’ fine Dean, I just get nosebleeds sometimes, they look a lot worse than they actually are, it’s no big deal, _really’_.

‘… right, well I think I’ll let a medical professional be the judge of what is and is not a big deal Sammy, now since I can’t seem to make a simple phone call for some reason, it’s probably best I just drive you to the E.R’.

‘No there’s no need for that, Dean I promise you I’m fine, I’m sorry if I freaked you out, it was just a combination of a serious migraine, lingering ghost fuzziness-

‘-You do realise that’s not an _actual medical term_ don’t you?-

‘-Overly dramatic nosebleed, and probably low blood sugar or something, seriously don’t worry, _I’m fine’_.

‘Don’t worry my ass, look I don’t know what’s up with the phones all of a sudden but you need to be seen by a doctor, look if you really don’t want to go to the E.R, I get it, you could be waiting around for hours, I’ll bang on a neighbour's door and ask to use their phone, I have excellent medical insurance, I can get a house call and-’

‘Dean a nosebleed and a headache does not warrant a house call’.

‘Stop being stubborn Sam’.

Sam stared at Dean intently as Dean held the sheets to his nose for a few moments the bleeding stopped quickly and Sam wiped his nose, ‘see, I told you they come and go really fast _, no big deal_ ’.

‘I still don’t like it Sam’.

‘I’m fine, _really,_ I promise. I’m sorry if I freaked you out’.

Dean studied Sam’s face for a moment, ‘wait here and don’t move’ Dean ordered getting out of bed.

Sam’s eyes followed Dean as he left the room, Dean didn’t seem to realise he was still naked and he wasn’t sure he could really spare the blood that suddenly raced from his brain and rushed south.

Sam heard Dean moving around in the kitchen and quickly turned the bloodstained sheet upside down, bunching the unstained material in his lap in an effort to disguise the state he was in. He didn’t want Dean coming back to find him sporting a sizeable erection while naked in his bed with blood everywhere and thinking he was some kind of freak. _He was already seriously starting to worry that he probably was without Dean thinking the same thing._

Sam took a deep breath, smoothing down his hair and trying his best to look calm and respectable as he heard water running in the kitchen, but his thoughts stubbornly focused on the fact that Dean was bending over the kitchen sink _naked_ and he hurriedly bunched more of the sheet in his lap seconds before Dean strode back into the room.

Dean had a washcloth and bowl, bottled water, painkillers, and what appeared to be a protein or candy bar in his hands, he also had a towel wrapped around his waist and Sam wasn’t sure if he was grateful Dean had covered up or not.

Dean assured himself that Sam’s nose really had stopped bleeding, and sat beside him on the bed, as he started cleaning the blood off his face.

‘It’s okay Dean, Sam muttered, ‘you don’t have to do that’. Dean batted his hand away when he tried to take the washcloth from him and gave him a look he usually reserved for junior employees who weren’t toeing the company line, but judging by the way Sam’s pupils suddenly dilated his most fearsome look just seemed to be getting him hot.

Dean finished cleaning up Sam’s neck and chest and set the washbowl aside opening the bottle of water for him and pushing two painkillers into his hand.

‘Thanks Dean, you’re always looking after me’.

‘Yeah, well, don’t thank me just yet, because it seems I was mistaken about there being any decent leftovers in the freezer, this protein bar was about all I could find that’s still edible, if I remember right it tastes like tree bark but it will keep you going until I order us some food’. Dean handed Sam the bar and Sam tore off half and handed it to him, as Dean shook his head ‘no you eat it all, you need it’. Sam made a face he instantly recognised, it wasn’t **_the_** look, the one that annoyingly pretty much got him to do whatever Sam wanted, but he suddenly knew for an absolute fact that Sam wouldn’t take so much as a bite until he did.

Dean stared at Sam for a moment and then sighed and took the piece of energy bar.

‘Aw man that’s really bad’ they said in unison laughing as they shared the water trying to get the awful taste out of their mouths.

‘Feeling better?’

‘Well my taste buds have just taken quite a battering, but my head feels a lot better thanks’.

Dean smiled at him ‘Good, now just lie down and take easy for a while, is there anything else I can get you?’

Sam laughed ‘now who's talking to who like they're a girl Dean? It’s manly to gush blood and then carry on like nothing happened, can you just let me have that _please_ ’.

Dean laughed. ‘So long as you pipe down and lay still for a while, you can be as manly as you want’.

‘Maybe you should lay down with me for a while, because um, medical studies have shown skin to skin human contact can help speed a person’s recovery, so maybe lose the towel and get into bed with me- you know to help me make a full recovery’.

‘Nice try Sam, now quit being a smartass, lay still, and be quiet’.

 _Bossy._ ‘…Dean thanks for taking care of me’.

‘No problem kid. Are you _sure_ you’re alright?’

‘Yeah promise… seriously, and I really don’t need to lie down anymore’.

‘It’s been less than five minutes Sam’.

‘I’m fine, you were right we should clean up and eat, _being manly here remember_?’

Dean smiled studying Sam’s face for a moment before saying ‘Okay, you can have the shower first Sammy’.

‘Shower with me’ Sam murmured.

‘Why?’ Dean teased, ‘you afraid you’ll tip over if don’t hold you up ginormo?’

‘Something like that’ Sam murmured locking eyes with Dean.

**_That_** look again. ‘Okay, okay, I’ll shower with you, shish, Quit looking at me like that’ Dean grouched. 

Sam lowered his head as if week his hair falling forward as he smiled to himself.

Dean stood up and grabbed Sam’s hand hauling him out of bed with surprising strength and scrutinising him to make sure he was steady on his feet before heading off towards the bathroom.

Sam hung back a couple of steps as he followed Dean to the shower his eyes travelling over Dean’s back and resting on his perfect ass as they walked to the bathroom, _Dean had a really sexy walk._

Dean adjusted the water until it was really hot the way Sam liked it, and then wondered how he knew Sam liked his showers hot enough to boil a regular person. Dean was pulling Sam’s head down from its great height and lathering his hair as if he were a child who needed help washing his hair before he even realised what he was doing, his hands froze in Sam’s hair then he shrugged, he had started now he might as well finish, besides Sam was still recovering from earlier.

‘Thanks’ Sam muttered rinsing his hair and tossing the now jet black mass out of his eyes. He pulled Dean closer grabbing his expensive designer shower gel and squeezing a generous amount into his palm.

‘Yeah I think that’s enough shower gel on my ass now’ Dean barked as Sam wouldn’t quit lathering him up.

‘I’m thinking really hard about fucking you in this shower Dean’ Sam growled kissing him as his large soapy hands travelled over his back and chest.

Dean looked at Sam’s cock which was standing at full attention ‘You're both insatiable Sammy I’m beginning to wonder if he in particular ever thinks about anything else when were alone together’.

‘It’s not me or my dicks fault if there’s nothing better to think about than being inside you’, Sam growled in between kisses.

 _Sam had the energy of a 19-year-old_ , and Dean began to wonder with a stab of guilt if Sam was actually younger than he thought, he was about to ask Sam exactly how old he was anyway when Sam’s started stroking him, and his question became a moan.

‘Touch me too’ Sam growled grabbing Dean’s hands and placing one flat on his chest and the other on his cock.

‘Knock it off’ Dean growled, freeing his hands as Sam was closing his fist around Dean’s and making him stroke him.

Dean squeezed shower gel onto his palm and much to Sam’s frustration started genuinely washing him, instead of using the shower gel as a pretext to slide his hands all over his body like he had done to Dean.

Sam started kissing Dean’s face and neck while trying to trap his soapy hands and run them down to his hard cock, but Dean was having none of it.

‘Sammy will you just stand still and let me wash this gigantoid body of yours before you keel over’.

Sam ignored the Deja vu at being called gigantoid practically hissing _yeah I get it_ at whatever part of his brain kept pounding out the same message that he knew Dean. _Why the hell didn’t it switch to helping him find out **how** he knew him and what the overwhelming connection was between him them instead?_

The way Dean’s hands were sliding across him as he rubbed shower gel into his chest felt so good his whole body started shuddering and his head fell back. _Fuck Dean was driving him crazy._ Did he know what he was doing to him? was he getting him hot and then telling him no on purpose? _was Dean fucking cock teasing him again?_

Sam looked into Dean’s eyes for a moment... _he knew that look_ , Dean was still worried about him and was taking care of him. Okay, so he wasn’t driving him mad on _purpose_ , but he was still rapidly getting him to that point where he couldn’t stop himself, _and didn’t want to._ Sam was suddenly torn, Dean had very clearly said no, and while he didn’t want to miss a second of having Dean’s hands on him as he efficiently lathered him up he couldn’t take much more of this and since Dean didn’t want to take things any further he should probably make him stop…

_Yeah right, as if he had anything close to the self-restraint he would need to do that!_

Sam gritted his teeth in frustration. For someone so _goddamned hot_ Dean genuinely didn’t seem to realise the effect he had, it was as if he actually believed that just because he wasn’t trying to turn him on as he washed him, then magically he wouldn’t be turned on. Sam clenched his teeth groaning aloud as Dean hands on him swiftly became too much to stand still and take. ‘Please just touch it’ he begged as Dean ignored his cock which had already been thoroughly washed when he closed Dean’s soapy fist around it and made him stroke it. ‘I mean, I think it could use a bit more washing’.

‘No what it could use is rinsing, and quit rubbing up against me, you’re getting me all soapy again’.

_Bossy_

Sam back-walked Dean to the ludicrously expensive marble granite designer whatever shower wall pushing him up against it and resting his forearms above Dean’s head caging him in with his much larger body. The water was hot and Dean was hotter, wet, naked, glistening, and all his. Dean’s hair was slicked down and darkened by the water emphasising the creamy perfection of his skin, his long lashes, full rose coloured lips, and the beautiful multi-faceted gold and green of his eyes. _Dean was just so beautiful_ and he found himself unable to do anything but stare for a moment.

‘Dean please’ Sam moaned kissing Dean’s beautiful mouth ‘this is the perfect place, think about it, we’ll be clean afterwards because were already in the shower’.

‘No. Food. Catch up on some office stuff. Change the sheets, then sleep or did you forget that we have work in the morning?’

‘Forget that, _you need another day off at least’._

‘No I don’t and neither do you’.

Sam kept one of his arms over Dean’s head caging him in keeping him trapped against the hot shower wall his hand travelling down Dean’s body, ‘I’m going to fuck you so hard’ he growled kissing him, ‘but your making me so crazy I don’t think I’m gonna last long’.

‘Hey’ Dean barked, ‘water isn’t a lubricant Sam, this isn’t going to work’.

Sam growled in frustration when he couldn’t work himself into Dean despite him being wet, the water wasn’t helping matters he realised, and it was washing away his pre-come, which might have helped- damn, what could he use? he was just reaching desperately for the shower gel when Dean shoved him back and barked ‘ _don’t even think about it_ ’ ducking under his arms and exiting the shower.

Sam growled in frustration, halted in his tracks by the sight of Dean bending over slightly to snag fresh towels from the expensive bamboo towel racks. Water was running down Dean’s back in rivulets and all he could think was that Dean had a _perfect ass_ and how sad was his current predicament that he was actually envying that water that got to run freely all over Dean’s body.

‘Come back to the shower Dean’, he begged desperately ‘I promise I'll make it good for you’.

‘No’.

Sam’s bit into his lower lip, his breath racing, his heart pounding.

 _He was going to fuck Dean in this shower no matter what_.

Dean turned around and looked at him and Sam let his forehead fall onto the hard shower wall

_just clearly not today- Dean was in **full** boss mode, the look on his face was the same as earlier when he was dominating him and while he couldn't have enjoyed it more, he'd barely survived what Dean did to him when he switched it around._

‘Out’ Dean ordered, wrapping a black towel around his waist and handing him a white towel. ‘I don’t want to hear any more nonsense out of you until you’ve rested and had something to eat, _is that clear?_ ’

_Dean looked fucking edible in nothing but a black towel, he wanted to drag it off with his teeth and have at every inch of him, but the stubborn set of Dean’s jaw made it clear that wasn’t happening without a fight._

Sam bit into his lip as his eyes narrowed.

‘Here’, Dean wrapped the towel around his waist, ‘you look like you really are about to keel over. I simply don’t understand how you can be more concerned with sex than the fact you can barely stand’.

_He could just over power Dean, drag him back into the shower, shove him up against the wall and push into him, he’d be so hot and wet under the shower and he could pick him up and fuck him harder and harder until-_

‘Sam! Quit eyeballing me, go to my room, and get dressed, _**now!’**_

#  ** ************************** **

Dean put on an outfit that screamed money and once again Sam suppressed a laugh at Dean’s idea of casual, as he struggled into the black sweat pants and too small designer shirt Dean had laid out for him, as he caught his reflection in the mirror of Dean’s walk in closet his head fell forward dejectedly his damp tousled hair falling into his eyes, _he looked like an overgrown idiot in Dean’s too small clothes_ and Dean just looked _perfect_ as usual, god he _wanted_ him, the need was clawing away at him, but Dean having found his cell phone was mysteriously working again was ordering in food from somewhere that sounded expensive and telling them to add it to his account.

‘Okay food will he here in about 40 minutes, it’s not fast food but I asked them to put a rush on it, Dean looked over at the bed, and frowned, ‘wow I was just joking about burning it but that may be the only way, what with the blood and various other fluids all over the place it looks like a particularly nasty crime scene’.

Sam pulled Dean into his arms, ‘don’t you dare burn that bed I happen to like you in it. Besides,’ Sam murmured kissing the top of Dean’s head which made him huff in irritation, as Sam smiled and held Dean tighter ‘it’s actually big enough for me to fit in without my feet dangling over the edge’.

Dean looked at down at Sam’s feet and his eyebrows rose ‘Sam has anyone from national geographic ever tried to take plaster casts of your feet before?’

‘Ha, ha Dean very funny’.

‘Just how big are your feet anyway? do you have to have shoes custom made?’

Sam smiled at him, drawing him in for a deep kiss murmuring ‘big enough Dean, and you know what they say about men with big feet right?’

Dean rolled his eyes, ‘yeah, yeah, and in your case it’s all true, now quit groping me and help me change the sheet. The maid usually takes care of that, but I would never be able to look her in the face again if she saw the state of these sheets’.

‘You have a maid?’

‘Of course I have a maid, do you honestly think I have the time or the inclination to clean this place myself? Come on Sammy I work every hour god sends.’ Dean sighed as he looked at the sheets ‘I’m going to have to throw these away’.

‘Don’t you have a washer dryer here?’

‘Well yes, but I have no idea how to use it, the maid does all that’. Dean shrugged at the incredulous expression on Sam’s face ‘what? it’s not as if I am in the habit of wearing machine washable clothes, all my clothes are dry cleaned, the maid is the one that started insisting that since the machine came with the apartment I should allow her to use it to launder sheets and towels, because according to her frugal sentiments paying to have them dry cleaned was a ridiculous waste of money’.

‘She’s right!’

‘Hardly, I think it far more likely that she simply did not care for the amount of dry cleaning she had to pick up’.

 ** _Rich people._** ‘Look, I know how to use the machines at the Laundromat, yours can’t really be all that different or complicated I’m sure I can figure it out, let me try and wash them for you, after all, I’m the one who got my blood all over them, I should be able to have them good as new in no time, and at least save you from having to throw out expensive sheets’.

‘Look never mind the sheets Sam, if you can figure out how to use that contraption you had better use it to clean your uniform unless of course you’re planning on going to work tomorrow in what you're currently wearing, I would lend you one of my suits of course, but there's no way they would fit’.

‘Damn, you're right, I forgot about the mess the uniform is in, better do something about that- so where’s the machine?’

‘It’s in the back room, come on I’ll show you, if you can’t get it to work, no big deal, we’ll figure out another way to get your uniform ready, if it wasn’t so late I would have it dry cleaned but-

'- _Pay,_ good money,to dry clean that ugly ass uniform, _no way Dean_ , I would rather turn up to work wearing this, then spend one red cent on dry cleaning that thing’.

Dean smiled ‘well hopefully it won’t come to that. if you can't get the machine to work, you can just try to remove the stains as best you can and we can use my hairdryer to speed up the drying process.’

‘You have a hairdryer?!’

‘Yes Sam I have a hair dryer, personal grooming is nothing to be ashamed of. I would think someone with hair as long as yours would see the obvious benefit of investing in a salon quality grooming tool. From your mirth I take it you're the type to just towel dry and go, **well not me** _._ Do you really expect me to pair suits that cost thousands of dollars with the unkempt hair of the common hobo? Now _stop laughing and help me._

Dean's suits cost how much?! But he'd practically ripped one to shreds he was so eager to get him out of it! 'Dean, I- god, I figured they were expensive but- I'll pay for the damage somehow and-

'-Never mind about the suit Sam, just help me with the sheets, I am quite serious when I say there are no circumstances in which I will allow my maid to see them!'

Sam’s eyes narrowed, Dean had a maid who he was _hiding_ his sheets from when laundering his stupidly expensive designer sheets was part of her job- just what kind of _maid_ was she anyway? Sam scowled while envisioning some hot busty blonde that came around late at night serviced the apartment _and then serviced Dean_.

Dean studied Sam’s face ‘She’s a middle-aged married mother of three and a devout catholic Sam, she is also an excellent maid and I do not want to lose her, so please refrain from wasting time concocting inaccurate scenarios regarding her service to me _and help me clean up this mess'._

‘I didn’t say anything’. Sam muttered sheepishly.

‘You didn’t have to', Dean drawled his eyes narrowed, his deep cynical tone inexplicably making his cock hard, 'it was written all over your face’.


	24. Can't get no satisfaction

Sam glanced over at Dean while pretending to be interested in the business magazine he was leafing through, instead, he was staring at the way Dean was wrapping his lips around the tip of the pen in his mouth and absently sucking on it as he concentrated on his computer screen while rapidly typing away. _Great. Now he was envying a pen. But it was hardly his fault when Dean should be up against the hot shower wall getting fucked right now instead of cock teasing him to death with a damn pen. The way the pen started rapidly moving from side to side against Dean's lips made it clear Dean was using his tongue and he felt the last of his control snap. **He couldn’t take anymore.** He was going to march over there, smash the damn computer to pieces, throw Dean on the desk, tear his fucking clothes off and fuck him so hard he'd never forget what it felt like, maybe then he would start to feel sane again. Dean would say no, they had just showered, they were waiting for food to arrive, he might even put up a fight, but he would overpower him, pin him down and-_

Sam jumped guiltily at the shrill sound of the doorbell. _He was doing it again; he was thinking rapey thoughts. He had to get a handle on this animal thing he had for Dean before he did something he would regret, well, **something more than he'd already done.**_

‘Sammy, could you get that?’ Dean asked as his phone rang, ‘I have to take this’.

Sam answered the door to a kid who was beaming at him, a wide grin plastered on his flushed face as he nervously adjusted his too large crumpled suit jacket and fake clip on tie.

‘Thanks, I’ll take that’.

The kids face fell as if someone had kicked his puppy as he asked ‘where’s Dean?’ while trying to look past him into the apartment. ‘I have his order’.

He didn’t miss the keen interest in the kid’s eyes as he asked for Dean or the fact he reeked of cheap cologne and was trying to smooth down his mop of unsuccessfully slicked back hair. He pulled himself up to his full height staring down at the kid while pulling the door almost closed effectively blocking his view of the apartment. ‘Mr Smith is _not_ available’. The kid's eyes raked him over, taking in the too small clothes and bare feet and his expression went from crestfallen to downright hostile. The kid clearly assumed he’d slept over and didn’t like it. So, the delivery guy had a crush, _well he could forget it._

He reached for the food but the kid recoiled as if he'd tried to slap him. ‘I want- I er, need him to sign this to say he received the order’.

‘I’ll sign it’ he gritted out through clenched teeth.

‘No! He has to sign it because um- because it’s his order’.

_Yeah right! since when did you have to sign for a food delivery?_

Dean was suddenly standing beside him and the kid went bright red and almost melted on the spot. ‘Hey, sorry I almost forgot you always want me to sign for my order even though it really isn’t necessary’.

‘I just like to be thorough’ the kid squeaked eyeing Dean up like he was made of chocolate as Dean leant over to take the pen and little scrap of paper the kid was holding like he wanted an autograph. Dean signed it, smoothly wrapping a twenty-dollar bill around the paper and pen and handing it back to the kid

‘I can't take this, I mean I'm not just a delivery guy, my dad owns the restaurant and I'm going to take over some day so I'm just learning the business from the ground up, so…’

‘Ambition is good, so take a free lesson in commerce from a battle-hardened business man like myself’, Dean lowered his voice stage whispering ‘never turn down free money’.

Dean winked and smiled _and the kid went into frigging rapture! H_ is eyes sliding shut as Dean leant close, carefully taking the large order of hot food and his hands tightened on the door frame _because_ _that had better be the scent of the food the little bastard was inhaling and **not Dean!**_

‘I- um, I, er, s-snuck in extra Filet Mignon sauce and Ciabatta bread for you’ the kid stammered, as Dean briefly checked the order, ‘so, um, please enjoy’.

‘Thanks for that, but I wouldn’t want you to get into any trouble with your boss for sneaking me extras, you be sure and add it to my bill later okay’.

‘It’s no trouble, you’re great, I mean a great customer, and I’m just glad you’re ordering from us again, I um, I mean _we_ haven't heard from you for a while’.

‘Oh, yes, I was on the master cleanse, so-

‘- _You’re kidding!_ The kid openly gaped, ‘why would you do that? you’re in like, _perfect_ shape’ _._

Sam’s eyes narrowed.

‘Perfect huh’ Dean drawled amused ‘you're not trying to get a larger tip by any chance?’ Dean treated the kid to his devastating smile and the kid almost hyperventilated.

‘No! I just mean you look… you know, _awesome_ or something’.

Dean’s lashes lowered as if embarrassed by the effusive compliments, then he looked at the kid and smiled _and the little bastard almost ejaculated on the spot!_ Sam exhaled slowly while briefly considering committing a mercy killing, **_before the damn delivery guy started openly salivating and howling like a dog in heat!_**

‘You hear that Sammy’ Dean smiled looking up at him in a way that had him unable to do anything but stare into Dean’s beautiful sparkling with humour eyes, ‘apparently, I look _awesome_ or something. Well, thanks kid. Take it easy out there, and thank your boss for putting a rush on the order’.

‘I sure will’ the kid's voice trailed off lamely, his gaze locked on Dean, wistfully following after him as he took the food into the apartment. He was about to close the door when the kid glared at him, challenge blazing in his eyes ‘so are you like just visiting or…’

 

 ** _What the actual fuck was this kid smoking?_** First, the little punk blatantly hit on Dean while he was standing right there, and now he was openly challenging him? **_Was he suicidal!!! _** He was about to warn him to back off and mind his own damn business before he relieved him of some of his permanent teeth, when the delivery guy stepped closer and he noticed the rash of adolescent acne, marking him as even younger than the nineteen to twenty-one he’d assumed. It was clearly more like sixteen to seventeen. ‘You have _got_ to be kidding me _’_ he snarled slamming the door in the _child’s_ face.

 _He could relate to the kid's fascination_ was his sudden thought as he leaned on the kitchen wall watching Dean unpacking the food. _There was something about Dean that just screamed **fuck me** , it was written all over him; well, he was the only one that got to fuck Dean, he would just have to figure out a way to write **that** all over him as well. _

Dean asked him if he wanted bread as he piled food onto his plate, and he felt Deja-Vu for the trillionth time as Dean seemed to be automatically looking after him, handing him his plate before taking his own to the small table, and as he sat down opposite Dean it felt like they had done this a thousand times before. ‘Thanks for this Dean it looks really good, so how much do I owe you?’

‘Just eat Sam’.

‘You can forget about me not paying my share Dean’.

Dean looked him in the eye, his tone finite. ‘I said _eat_ ’.

Sam recognised that uber-bossy tone; he clearly wasn’t going to win this argument, but he wasn’t about to let Dean foot the bills for him either, so he would just have to buy Dean breakfast, lunch, and dinner… _and possibly take out a bank loan to pay him back, because expensive gourmet dinners like this were **way** out of his budget._

Satisfied that he was going to eat rather than argue as he took the fork Dean handed him, Dean quit giving him his bossy look, and turned his attention to his food, but not before opening his bottled water and handing it to him, it seemed second nature, it was like Dean didn’t even realise he was doing it.

‘I'm glad they put a rush on this order, ‘ _I am seriously hungry’._

Sam scowled. _Yes, he would bet that delivery guy punk flew Dean's order right on over._ _Well_ , _it was about time he set Dean straight about that kid’s intentions._ ‘Yeah, about that, look, you should probably let him know it’s a food _delivery service_ , not a dick-to-door service, so he can quit trying to offer himself along with the food’.

Dean inhaled the delicious scent of the food and the look of _pure pleasure_ on his beautiful face made him forget how to breathe for a moment.

‘What are you talking about?’

 _What was he talking about?... **oh yeah the damn teenybopper with the hard on for Dean**._ ‘The guy who delivered the food has it bad for you, trust me’.

‘Who? What's-his-name? he’s just a _kid_ Sam’.

‘ _A kid with a crush._ I mean he was practically spoiling for a duel when I answered the door instead of you and told him you weren’t available. He’s definitely jail-bait Dean, that’s why I’m saying you better watch out for him…’ Sam’s voice trailed off at the blank expression on Dean’s face. Dean genuinely didn’t get it, _the kid had practically started humping his leg and he **still** didn’t see it._ Sam sighed, ‘never mind let’s just eat I’m starving. I worked up quite an appetite’ he muttered distracted by the utterly sexual look on Dean’s face as his fork disappeared into his mouth and slid out slowly.

‘Now that’s good steak’ Dean groaned as he savoured it, ‘melts in the mouth, they actually stuff it with Parma ham or something, I don’t know how they do it but it’s… mmm, and this cheese sauce, _oh my god_ , even the avocado tastes amazing, so creamy, was I on that stupid cleanse way too long, or is this the best damn food you have ever tasted? try the bread Sammy, it’s freshly baked and goes perfectly with it’. Dean took a large bite of cheese covered steak and groaned in pleasure ‘god, _so good_ ’.

Sam felt hunger spreading through him, but not for what was essentially an overpriced bacon and avocado cheeseburger, because once again Dean had him too damn horny to eat, but he forced himself to unclench his jaw and shovel food into his mouth barely noticing its excellent preparation, he just wanted to build up his strength, _he had plans for it_.

Dean finished his steak and started lamenting the calories in the ‘mouth-watering apple pie’ before biting into it like it was a lover ‘Oh god, that’s, _god,_ you have _got_ to taste this Sam’.

 ** _He couldn’t take much more of this_** , _Dean was cock teasing him to death with the damn pie!_ Dean took another bite, his eyes sliding shut on a moan of pure ecstasy, and what little control he had left went up in **_flames_ ** as he hauled Dean up.

‘Sam’, Dean objected as he dragged him into the bedroom, stripping him naked and practically throwing him on the bed, ‘you had better take that pie back into the kitchen and put it in the fridge. I do not find the idea of eating in bed acceptable and I have no interest in trying it’.

‘Come on Dean’ Sam broke off a piece of the pie and held it near Dean’s lips tempting him, ‘you know how good this tastes, just think about how much you were enjoying it before the look on your face and the noises you were making made me snatch up the pie plate and drag you in here’.

‘Sam _would you put that piece of pie back on the plate before you get crumbs everywhere’._

‘Come on Dean’ Sam crooned, moving closer, ‘let me feed it to you, the way you eat it is so damn sexy’.

‘Well there is nothing sexy about a home infested with ants, and this kind of nonsense is how you get them, _so_ _no eating in bed_. Now take that back to the kitchen already’.

‘I take full responsibility, Dean, if I drop as much as a crumb on you or so much as a speck of filling I promise I will lick it off your body and I won’t stop until you’re completely clean’.

‘For the love of- _we are not a couple of damn cats Sam_ , you can’t _lick_ me clean’. Dean rolled his eyes at Sam’s dirty expression that said he disagreed and would like to prove it to him ‘Look, I have no intention of getting all sticky in bed after I just showered’.

‘Come on Dean you have no idea how horny this is making me, I want to watch you tasting it while you're naked in your expensive bed, I want to hear you moan in pleasure, I want to watch you lick those beautiful lips of yours, _I get hard every time you do that_ , come on just _one_ bite, that’s probably all I can stand watching you eat before it drives me crazy and makes me fuck you’.

Dean opened his mouth to say something and Sam played dirty quickly shoving the small piece of pie into his mouth, his fingers on Dean’s soft lips as Dean glared at him for a second then almost dissolved in pleasure, licking bits of the sweet morsel off his lips as he moaned helplessly.

Sam was desperate for Dean, his cock was hard, his balls heavy and aching, another of Dean’s helpless groans and he couldn’t hold back anymore grabbing him and devouring his mouth. He shoved Dean onto his back and lay over him, kissing and riding him hard, ‘Fuck Dean you smell so good, taste so sweet, I'm so horny for you right now if I keep riding you like this I might come before I even get inside you’. His hands travelled over Dean’s hips sliding around to his beautiful ass as Dean broke the kiss, his hot sweet breath torture on his over sensitised skin as he murmured in his ear, but the sound of his own blood pounding in his ears was drowning out what Dean was saying and it took him a while to register that Dean was pushing him back and he gritted his teeth in frustration as his body refused to obey his mind for a few seconds as he struggled to make himself stop.

‘I already told you Sam, we will not be having any more sex tonight. _We have work in the morning_. Now since you’re so eager for us to go to bed then we may as well have an early night’. Sam’s eyes narrowed as Dean stretched his perfect body, ‘early to bed early to rise Sam’.

_Early to bed early to rise! Dean was so fucking preppy sometimes, but bizarrely, **it made him want to fuck him though the mattress.**_

…Sadly, that wasn’t going to happen right now, Dean may have allowed himself to be dragged back to bed early, but aside from a little cock-teasing heavy petting, that was _all_ he was allowing.


	25. I Could Use Some Tech Support

Sam woke up hard and pissed off, and he didn’t know what was annoying him more, the conservative talk radio blaring in his ears, his blue balls courtesy of Dean cock-teasing then refusing him last night, _or the fact the fucking bed was empty._

‘Morning Sammy’, Dean came striding past in a towel treating him to a glorious view of his glistening half naked body, ‘The showers free’.

Sam's eyes narrowed as Dean studied his multitude of expensive dry cleaned suits in his mirrored walk-in closet. _Where the fuck did Dean think he was going?_ _If it was work, he was sorely mistaken, the only place he was going was back to bed, **and he didn’t need a suit for that.**_ … but he couldn’t very well growl that at him the way he wanted to, so he took a sip of the coffee Dean had kindly put beside the bed and tried to project an air of reasonableness instead of the volatile mix of desperate, hungry, and rapey that he really felt. ‘Um Dean, did you ever consider that it’s too soon for us to go back to work?’ He took another sip of coffee biting back the **Come Here** that was burning in the back of his throat. ‘The whole Sandover ghost thing was a trial by fire, we, er, might have post-traumatic stress disorder or something, we should take it easy, and rest, together, _in bed’_.

‘No’.

‘Look all I’m saying is that it could be dangerous to return too soon, we need a chance to recuperate after everything we’ve been through, so we should definitely take another day or two off work, maybe even a week just to be on the safe side, and if we just so happen to spend most of that time naked in bed while I do everything I can to speed you on your way to recovery, then all the better’. He patted the empty side of the bed in a manner he hoped could be described as inviting, pairing the gesture with what he hoped was a winning smile, a difficult task when he was resisting the urge to take Dean down and make a mess out of him, like a hungry lion taking down an unsuspecting gazelle in the wild plains of the Serengeti, except in this case the savage biting, feasting, and gorging would be entirely sexual.

Dean sighed studying what appeared to be two identical gold ties ‘Sam, come on, out of bed, I let you sleep in as long as I could, _now get a move on_ , I have no intention of being late’.

Dean didn’t spare him a glance as he matched a pristine light blue shirt to one of the pristine matt gold ties and Sam sighed bitterly because he knew that tone. _Sometimes life just wasn’t fair_ , he had the hottest boyfriend in the world _and he was a goddamned workaholic_. He headed into the bathroom and found showering alone after having showered with Dean was just plain depressing. He headed back into the bedroom and pulled on his washed and dried uniform, hating it more than he ever had as his gaze slid over Dean who was dressed to kill, misting cologne over himself and looking unreasonably fuckable.

He was still battling his hair into submission when Dean pushed him towards the front door, at the last minute he twisted around and slammed Dean up against the wall kissing him hard, ‘you’ve been asking for that since you paraded around in nothing but that towel this morning, in fact, since yesterday in the shower and now you're gonna get-

‘- _Later’_ Dean hissed opening the door and unceremoniously shoving him into the hall, ‘you agreed to give me two weeks to think about things, and you agreed to work your notice, which is exactly what I expect you to do, _is that clear?’_

Sam stared, unable to speak because bossy Dean was simply _too hot for words._

Dean seemed to mistake his too-horny-to-speak silence as agreement and barked ‘Good. _Now move it or we’re going to be late’._

**_Bossy._ **

Yet he couldn’t help smiling despite his sexual frustration as he followed Dean out to his overpriced car, _because Dean was still thinking about coming away with him._

#  ** ************************** **

Dean pulled up at some pretentious, a-cat-chewed-every-bean style organic coffee house on the way to work and the barely 18 year old “Barista” lit up like a Christmas tree, fawning all over Dean, asking him where he’d been lately and expressing shock about the master cleanse because Dean looked “fantastic”, while Sam hung his head muttering ‘ _for fucks sake’_ under his breath because seriously, _this again?_

The Barista made a theatrical production out of making Dean's coffee with intricate foam patterns that were pointless for a to-go order with a damn lid over it, -and the production didn’t end there as the Barista wrapped up Dean's Danish lovingly, placing it in a small rectangular cardboard cake box, tying it _with a ribbon_ and using scissors to somehow make ribbon swirls, before handing it to Dean like it was precious wedding cake instead of a damn Danish and husking ‘enjoy’.

Dean turned to ask him what he wanted and the Barista gave him an openly hostile glare as he realised Dean was ordering for him as well. He watched bemused as the Barista made his coffee as if it were a painful chore and tossed his chocolate muffin into a plain brown paper bag which he shoved at him with none of the adoring fanfare he used when serving Dean; to add further insult his head to toe eye-rake of his hideous uniform and derisive brow raise as he placed his coffee on the counter clearly said “ _you're out of your league”._

He could only hope his returning glare clearly said, _“just stick to peddling overpriced cat-chewed coffee **and mind your own damn business asshole”**._

Dean ignored his money when he tried to cover his share which seemed to distress the Barista, or maybe it was his smiling at him as Dean asked him to put his chocolate muffin in a cake box too, because the look on the Barista’s face when he realised Dean hadn’t noticed he was hitting on him, and it was his thirst, rather than good customer service behind the lovingly wrapped pastries and artisan foam was _priceless,_ and he struggled not to laugh as the jealous little jerk looked like he would rather cut _him_ with the scissors than the ribbon.

‘Thanks kid’, Dean smiled at the Barista and once again Dean's smile melted an idiot with a crush, he was wondering if that was also an accurate description of himself when Dean pulled a 50 dollar bill out his wallet and handed it to the Barista, ‘to tell you the truth I thought the box and ribbon was too much when you first did it, but the way you wrap it and put it in the box means I can eat it without getting my hands greasy or god forbid getting crumbs on my suit so thanks for that’.

‘It’s my pleasure sir’.

‘Dean. I told you I'm only Sir in the office’.

‘Yes sir, I mean Dean’. The Barista smiled at Dean adoringly while ringing up their items and suddenly he didn’t know whether to be pissed off that Dean was still paying for him, or relieved because $8.50 _for a frigging cup of coffee_ was just plain ridiculous, _wow!_ maybe his wanting to take Dean away from this life really was a good thing because who the hell paid that for coffee?! _man_ _was he getting hosed._

Sam hung behind Dean as they walked to the car admiring the way the bright morning sunshine did glorious things to his golden hair. Dean smelled delicious, he wanted to make out with him in the street in front of everyone so everyone knew Dean was his, he wanted to drag him home and lick every inch of that body- but it wasn't just sex, it was everything about just being around him... it all felt so familiar. Then there was the constant wanting burning in him, the unquenchable hunger that felt both old and new at the same time, it didn't make any sense, all he knew was it was overwhelming, even right now that primal part of him, the beast Dean brought out that he could barely control was the reason he was walking behind Dean, it was stalking Dean, admiring it's conquest. He loved Dean, but the beast inside him wanted Dean like an animal. Dean turned around and gave him a quizzical look that said _what are you doing back there?_ and he put some extra speed in his long strides, catching up to Dean as they neared the car and taking the cake boxes from him as Dean pressed the remote unlock button on his car key's.

He hurried in front of Dean opening the car door and holding it open for him as Dean's brows rose. 'Oh this is happening', he smiled at Dean's incredulous look, 'what can I say Dean, chivalry isn't dead'.

Dean shook his head as if Sam was crazy as he got in the car, placing the coffee’s in the cars cup holders as Sam hurried round to the passenger side. ‘Don’t even think about drinking that now’ he commanded starting the car as Sam was about to dive into the overpriced caffeine. ‘The coffee from that place is hot enough to kill a man, you have to wait a while before it’s even possible to blow on it without scorching your face, besides drinking and driving is dangerous’.

‘I’m pretty sure that only applies to alcohol Dean’.

‘ _Nonsense_. Scolded laps, coffee spilled on expensive suits, expensive car interiors stained- no Sammy we do not drink the coffee until we get out of the car at work’.

‘Then what? chug it like it's ice cold beer?’

‘No smartass, you have the whole walk from the executive parking lot into the building and the elevator ride up to your floor to drink your coffee and eat your muffins, trust me the coffee will still be hot by then, I swear they brew it over an active volcano or something, now buckle up and zip it Mr, you almost made me late once already’.

‘Not my fault Dean, if you had seen how hot you looked in that towel-

 _‘-Save it_. Seatbelt, **now** ’.

 _Bossy_.

#  ** ************************** **

‘Drop me off here’ Sam insisted as they drew closer to a subway station a block away from Sandover.

‘Forget it, I have no intention of being late’. He took his eyes off the road for a second to confirm that he wasn’t going crazy and could actually _feel_ Sam giving him _that_ damn look again, yep, there it was, and now here he was reluctantly wasting his time by pulling the car over, _unbelievable_.

‘Thanks Dean, you know that protecting your virtue, -well at work at least- is very important to me’. Sam leaned closer stealing a quick kiss and murmuring against his lips, ‘it’s better no one sees us arriving together Dean, _I don’t want anyone imagining how hot you must look when I’m fucking you’._

Sam was out of the car and striding away before he could tell him exactly where to shove his smartass remark about protecting his virtue, and he found himself watching the way the early morning sun was playing off Sam's reddish golden-brown hair as he strode off, drinking his too hot coffee and cramming his talented mouth full of Danish- _hey that was his Danish!_ Oh well, chocolate muffins it was. He noticed women discreetly checking Sam out and a not so discreet male cyclist openly gawking at him, the way the cyclist’s greedy gaze was _lingering_ _on his ass,_ blatantly ogling him as he walked past had his hands tightening on the steering wheel as he wondered if Sam would object to having _property of Dean Smith_ stamped on his uniform pants **_front and back._**

His eyes narrowed as Sam disappeared down the subway stairs view probably meaning to cut through the station underpass and come out the other side as if he had just arrived from the subway. He checked his watch and despite Sam’s last-ditch effort to waylay him this morning, traffic had been surprisingly light and he was making good time, so he made a quick detour before heading to Sandover and was exiting the parking lot and heading into the building when Sam appeared.

He knew giving into Sam and dropping him off a block away from work was just plain stupid, and now here they were arriving at exactly the same moment, _what was the point?_

Sam pressed his lips together when he noticed him and narrowed his eyes, the look said “ _seriously_?” and he rolled his eyes and sighed _because_ _he could hardly be blamed if Sam's juvenile diversionary tactics had not worked out._

When he looked back at Sam he found he'd apparently got over his upset at having his plans thwarted because he was now openly staring at him, and he saw the desire there loud and clear even before Sam’s gaze dropped to his lips, lingering for a moment, before raking up and down his body.

Sam was the one insisting they pretend not to know each other at work, yet here he was openly eye-fucking him to death outside the buildings main entrance! _‘Sure, Sam if you keep looking at me like that no one will ever figure it out’_ he hissed sarcastically.

Sam was so focused on staring at him like he wanted to fuck him up against the front of the building, onlookers be damned, that he didn’t seem to hear him or the woman calling out his name and telling him to wait up. Sam actually jumped when she looped her arm through his, which pretty much confirmed he’d had no idea she was there. Sam was completely ignoring her as she chatted away trying to engage him in lively conversation, electing instead to give him thinly veiled heated glances as they all made their way past security and into the elevator.

It was better than open staring he supposed, _but it was still pretty obvious_. He busied himself drinking his coffee at the appropriate time and temperature and taking a small bite of muffin that should have been Danish, all the while expertly avoiding getting even a speck on his pristine suit. He was licking his lips when he felt the intensity of being stared at and looked up to find Sam was watching his mouth again and intense didn’t quite describe the heat in his expression.

The woman draping herself all over him, talking away as if they were old friends, which he supposed they might be, finally seemed to realise she was not the centre of Sam's attention, her voice trailing off as she started following the eye line of whatever was holding Sam’s interest instead of her. _Who was she anyway?_ He studied her for a moment. her name tag read "Mable" and apparently her thick over-the-top southern accent was only surpassed by her thick over-the-top hair and nails. Sam finally seemed to realise what he was doing as Mable started looking in his direction and quickly tore his gaze from him, focusing on what Mable started drawling on about, wait, _did Sam just call her “Mitzy”?_ Either Sam was mistaken about her name, which was unlikely since it was pinned to her blouse in exactly the right position to show off her ample cleavage making it very difficult to miss, or Sam knew her well enough to call her by a nickname… and Mable/Mitzy was clearly very comfortable hanging off Sam's arm while he made a production of flashing his dimples at her with his megawatt smile while studiously avoiding looking at him.

Dean sighed. _If he placed the order as soon as he got into his office, he could probably get a property of Dean Smith stamp made up and delivered to his desk before the close of business today._

#  ** ************************** **

Sam slammed down the phone and shook his head, another call to deal with the ancient abacus masquerading as a computer, why didn’t somebody at Sandover just take the damn thing out back and put it out of its misery?

He heard the sound of a door opening behind him as he made his way to the archives room and suddenly there was a hand on his arm pulling him back, _the touch shot through him like a spark of electricity spreading wildly through his body,_ and suddenly he was _hungry_ , craving the one person who could do this to him, **Dean** , but there was no reason Dean would be on this floor, so what was going -he was yanked back harder and there was no mistake, it _was_ Dean, he could feel him, _smell him_ , even if he could barely see him as he found himself pulled inside what appeared to be a darkened tiny disused store room with a massive obsolete photocopier in it. The possible dirty implications of what was going on were not lost on him, but he forced himself to calm down _because there was no way he could ever be that lucky!_ ‘Er Dean what are you?-

‘-Shut up’ Dean hissed locking the door from the inside and unbuckling him as his mouth fell open in shock because _No fucking way! There was no way Dean was really going to-_

Dean would have never in his life pictured himself as the kind of person who would even _consider_ having sex at work, but after 20 minutes at his desk he had still been seething picturing that damn cyclist checking out Sam’s ass, _he didn’t know who it belonged to!_ \- and just when he managed to shake that mental image off and try to concentrate on his work, he had been distracted by flashbacks of Sam’s simpering co-worker or whoever she was hanging all over him in the elevator brushing his muscular forearms with her red talon-like nails while asking him in her breathy over the top southern drawl if he worked out, and when he said he _“did a little running”,_ she had said _“why that just sounds exhausting to me sugar, I can’t say I do any runnin, but I do like to get me a good workout when I can, you know sugar, I could show you something a little less strenuous than runnin, but it’s a good work out all the same, say Sam honey you ever think about maybe working out with a partner to help ya’ll stay in shape?”_ Seriously, **_who even said things like that outside of a gym?_**

Sam had actually looked like he was considering it as the elevator doors opened and she dragged him out making cooing noises, her entire performance screaming that Sam was free to bench press _her_ any time he needed a workout.

It was so _obvious_ what she wanted and not just to him. He had been sat at his desk a further non-productive 10 minutes as he recalled what had happened after Sam was dragged out of the lift and two of his colleges started discussing the spectacle in hushed overtones.

_“Poor kid that cougars gonna eat him alive”._

_“Oh I don’t know, I think he’s going to hit that hard, big strong kid like that, I think she’s the one that’s gonna get it”._

_“Nah, can’t you see how floppy haired and clueless he is? she’s gonna eat that banana polo shirt right off his back, poor kids not even gonna know what hit him!”_

Both men had hid their fits of laughter behind furious fake coughing and soon everyone in the elevator had been snickering under their breath, _everyone except_ him, because seriously what the hell was so amusing? He for one didn’t find it the _least_ bit funny.

He'd debated what to do, and in the end he'd realised other than getting that label made up, - _and he still might for private use in the bedroom-_ there was nothing he could do other than make that call, he _had_ to do it, or else risk not getting _any_ work done at all today. Once he made up his mind he'd been about to call Sam directly but decided against it for two reasons, one, he didn’t think he would be any less distracted by actually talking to Sam and telling him what he planned to do to him and two, _not calling him directly gave him the element of surprise;_ so he'd called the tech support main switchboard and told them the archive computer was on the fritz again and that a Sam Wesson was the only person on file who seemed to be able to get the damn thing to work.

 _Plausible deniability_. The Archive computer was a notorious heap of junk still running windows 98 and apparently everyone in Tech support dreaded getting a call about that archaic nightmare; apparently Sam had fixed it before he'd learned that no good deed went unpunished at Sandover and now he was listed as the default go-to techie when the thing went on the fritz, _which played out perfectly for his plan._ Then he'd somehow forced himself to concentrate on work and not the damn minutes ticking by until he could casually leave his desk and make his way to the disused supply closet so he could grab Sam on his way past.

 _This was by far the most reckless thing he had ever done,_ but as he unbuckled Sam finding him hot, hard, and ready _he was pretty damn sure he didn’t care._

Sam gritted his teeth as Dean licked him from base to tip until his knees almost buckled, ‘Stand still and take it’ Dean ordered wrapping his beautiful lips around him and sucking him skilfully. He didn’t last, _he couldn’t_ , it was too much, he was racing over the edge, his voice failing him as he whimpered, ‘I'm so close, Dean _please_ ’, because he couldn’t stop what was happening, but Dean ignored him sucking him harder, and he couldn’t hold back anymore as he exploded into Dean's mouth, and _ah god,_ they were at work, _at work_ and Dean, beautiful, corporate boss Dean, was swallowing him down and his fingers were gripping onto Dean's head, running through his soft hair, because god, Dean was killing him, _killing him,_ it was _so good_ and he gritted his teeth harder, fighting to remain silent as raw sensation ran riot up and down his body, the pleasure so intense the contractions as his seed spurted over and over were almost painful, _fuck_ , it wouldn’t end, Dean was making him come _so hard_ it was all he could do to remain standing as he bit into the inside of his cheek until it hurt, because he couldn’t roar out his pleasure or even moan desperately, because although it was a practically deserted floor _anyone could walk past and hear them,_ and oh **god** , Dean was expertly biting down, deliberately ramping the pleasure up until it became torture, unbearable pleasure laced with the kind of exquisite pain Dean was expert at delivering, and even though Dean was on his knees before him as he held his head, driven mad by watching the way his hard cock looked rammed into his beautiful mouth he couldn’t feel dominant, _because Dean was **schooling** him again, _ making pleasure crash into him so hard black spots were dancing behind his whited out vision as he struggled to stay standing.

Sam was still hard as he sucked his cock and pulled him out of his mouth at the same time making him shudder and whimper- he also looked completely shell-shocked after his violent climax, _which made him pliable_.

Sam's hands were blindly pawing at his body, desperate, over sensitised, _yes this was how he liked him_ , he was amazing when he was dominant, yes, but he was **_his_** , when he was like this, _and he intended to make sure he didn’t forget it no matter who came sniffing around him._

Sam actually whimpered when he moved away and he smiled darkly pressing his body closer, reassuring Sam he wasn’t leaving, _because he wasn’t close to done with him yet._ He slid around Sam who was trying desperately to kiss him, whimpering when he denied him, instead, pushing him forward until he was bending him over the disused copy machine taking up most of the store room.

‘Don’t move’ he ordered pushing up Sam's polo shirt and running his hands over his muscled back, spreading him open and preparing him with the lubricant he detoured for earlier. ‘So fucking tight’ he hissed pushing into him. ‘ _Relax_. _Keep still and take it_ ’ he ordered pulling Sam back onto his cock _hard_ as Sam screamed in the back of his throat and he clamped his hand down over his mouth, smacking his ass hard, as Sam gripped onto the copier his hands clenching into fists as he started thrusting into him. ‘God you feel good’ Dean growled rocking into Sam, pulling back and slamming home again, ‘you like it baby boy? You’re making the sexiest sounds right now Sammy, so hot and desperate, I love the way you growl when I do _this_ ’ Sam growled in the back of his throat as he pushed into him hard, ‘and whimper when I do _this_ ’, Sam made a high pitched sobbing sound in the back of his throat as he drove deep into him rotating his hips expertly and hitting all the right places. 'You sound like I’m raping you and giving you the best experience of your life at the same time, _how the fuck do you do that?_ It makes me _crazy’._

Dean's hips were speeding up, punishing him with his thrusts as he growled ‘I’m the only one that’s ever fucked you and I’m the _only_ that’s ever going to fuck you, _do you understand me Sammy?’_

Sam started screaming in the back of his throat as Dean dominated him fucking him senseless.

‘Are you begging me to stop Sam? Is that what you're trying to say? Don’t you remember what I told you when I had you before? you _need_ it like this, you _need_ to know who you belong to. _Now don’t make a sound’_ Dean growled laying over Sam’s back and rotating his cock deep inside him. ‘You don’t want people to know about us right? He murmured darkly in his ear, that’s why you keep insisting you can’t be seen with me right? Then you know what you have to do don’t you Sammy, _you have to keep quiet_ , you have to lie under me and just **_take it’_**. ‘That’s it’, Dean purred sadistically in his ear, ‘take it from me Sammy, _take it like a good little employee’_.

Sam couldn’t help the desperate whimpering sounds escaping from his throat even as he was trying his best to be quiet.

‘Such a good boy Sammy’ Dean crooned darkly in his ear kissing a hot cruel path over the side of Sam’s face, ‘you’re being so good for me’. just take it, that’s it’.

Sam bucked up against him as if it was too much and his hand slid to Sam's hips holding him still, ‘don’t be disobedient Sammy or I'm going to have to discipline you again like I did last time, do you remember what I did to you Sammy? Do you think you can take me slapping that big, oversensitive cock of yours again and again right now without screaming the building down?’ Dean pulled all the way back, slapping Sam's ass hard while slamming into him again and again ‘Shhh, you have to be quiet Sam, if you don’t everyone will come and see, everyone will know, _you don’t want that do you?’_

Sam was sobbing in the back of his throat and his whole body was shaking as Dean rammed in deep, rocking hard into him. ‘Ah baby’ Dean groaned as he felt hot wet tears slide over the hand that was clamped ruthlessly tight over Sam’s mouth, ‘is it too much for you baby? It’s so hot when I make you, big strong Sam, cry and whimper for me’. Dean replaced his hand with his mouth kissing Sam, tasting his tears and swallowing his cries and whimpers.

‘Fuck you're gripping me _so tight’_ he growled against Sam's mouth, ‘you’re going to make me come like this. Do you want it from me?’ he clamped his hand back over Sam's mouth as he started hammering into him, ‘Do you want to feel me coming inside this tight little ass of yours? I love it when you’re struggling against me, taking everything I have, take it, _take it’_ he seethed slamming into him, his seed racing into him in long hard spurts, ‘coming inside you feels so good, because you're mine, you're mine _baby boy, remember that’._

The copier was rattling and scraping noisily against the concrete floor, what was going on in the supply closet would be pretty obvious to anyone walking past, but he didn’t care because he was kissing the side of Sam's tear stained face while coming hard inside him, marking Sam as _his_ , and it felt _so_ fucking good. Sam’s cries reached fever pitch and he clamped his hand down harder over Sam's mouth while Sam reached back blindly touching him wherever he could, his seed bursting from him, exploding all over the copier as he came hard shaking and bucking under him, the sweet sounds of his overwhelmed desperation muffled against his palm as he cried out over and over again as if it was too much for him to take.

Sam was muttering incoherently and shuddering, with aftershocks as he collapsed over Sam's back fighting to catch his breath, and he couldn’t help smiling, because _god_ Sam was beautiful when he was delirious and fucked out. He eased out of Sam slowly, which seemed to make him shake harder. He stashed the small tube of lubricant discreetly in his pocket and surveyed the mess they had made, sincerely hoping there was something in here to clean up the copy machine Sam had just climaxed all over. He buttoned up his shirt and straightened his tie, because it wouldn’t do to look a sweating mess even if he'd apparently lost his mind and just fucked the hell out of a subordinate in a disused supply closet in the middle of the work day.

Sam was _still_ looking shell shocked so he pulled him close and helped him straighten out his clothes. ‘I like it when you get that _I’ve been fucked so hard I don’t know my own name_ look on your face Sammy’ Dean whispered, ‘I like knowing I’m the one that put it there’. He pulled Sam into a hot searing kiss, which Sam responded to blindly, pulling him up against his hard body and rocking into him, and he didn’t know whether to be impressed or terrified when he felt Sam hardening up against him. ‘I’m heading for the back stairs, wait a couple of minutes, check to make sure it’s all clear and then head for the elevators- and for god’s sake clean up that copy machine before you go’.

Dean looked Sam up and down then smirked at him his sensual lips twisting into a mocking smile, ‘maybe you better come out _ten_ minutes after me, you look like you could use the rest kid’ Dean winked, unlocking the disused store room door and peeking his head out discreetly. ‘All clear’ he whispered.


	26. Beast

Dean Smith was the kind of workaholic that probably had lunch at his desk, so he figured he was probably in his office while everyone else was escaping for the hour.

Most of the executive floor was deserted and Dean’s secretary was not at her desk as he approached Dean's office stilling as he overheard Dean saying, ‘The last words you should be squawking to me right now are “lunch” and “rights”, you and your hapless department of juvenile frat brothers have perpetrated a screw up so colossal I can guarantee heads will roll so you will work until this is fixed, _is that clear?_ ’

Dean was using his **_bossiest_** tone, which affected him like it usually did, meaning he was now standing in an open hallway getting noticeably aroused. _Damn he had it bad._

'I expect the work to be re-done as instructed, is that understood? I will call the department head and tell him to expect you within the hour …Oh it's perfectly possible with less complaining and more time doing some semblance of the job you are paid to do, _now get to it’._

He took a step back not wanting to be seen when the no doubt quivering subordinate Dean was giving orders to came racing out of Dean's office. When no one appeared, he figured Dean had been talking on the phone, meaning he might be alone as he knocked on the door.

‘Enter’ Dean commanded, his dominate tone reminding him of just how badly Dean had dominated _him_ earlier.

‘Hi, are you alone?’

‘Hi there yourself Sam, and yes’.

‘Good’ he growled closing the door behind him, ‘because I spent five minutes wiping down that damn copy machine after you made me come all over it and-

‘-Wait, are you complaining or bragging Sammy?’

He took one good look at Dean - _and promptly forgot what he was talking about_ because Dean looked fucking **edible** , his mouth was literally _watering_ at the sight of him. _Dean was_ **glowing** , how did Dean do it? Despite his best efforts, he'd gone back to his cubicle looking like he'd been dragged through a hedge backwards, but Dean didn’t look like he’d done anything more strenuous than answering his damn phone today, he certainly didn’t look like he’d recently **_destroyed_** a subordinate in a supply closet.

Dean smiled picking up the phone and dialling. ‘Listen Sammy I have work to do, so go have your lunch’.

 _Dean looked perfect,_ and as always, the more perfect Dean looked, the more pristine and untouchable, _the more he wanted to make a sweating come-drenched **mess** out of him._  
His eyes narrowed as he reached behind himself locking the door. Dean had him a _savage_ **beast,** consumed with lust, salivating at the thrill of devouring his prey.

‘This is Dean Smith, … exactly, well clearly the interns are completely incompetent. I have given clear corrective instructions and you can expect their self-appointed head frat-boy to deliver within their apparently sacred hour of lunch. ...The Davis account? It wasn't listed as being affected, but if the numbers don't add up, let me check my version of the file- hang on having some trouble accessing it, the damn network here am I right-

-Sam hauled Dean out of his chair, snatching the receiver out of his hand, hanging up the phone, and slamming him up against his hard body while devouring his mouth.

‘Sam… that…. was… an… important… call’ Dean objected between hot savage kisses as the phone started ringing again and he dived to answer it, but Sam was faster, picking up the receiver and slamming it down again.

‘Sam... stop doing that... _are you ...crazy_?!’ Dean protested breathlessly between kisses. The phone rang a third time and Sam slammed it down so hard there was the sound of plastic cracking. ‘Hey!’ Dean snapped pushing Sam back, _‘would you stop that before you break it!’_

Sam growled at him, fisting his shirt, and yanking him forward, kissing him hard, his strong arms locking around him, as he was deepening the kiss and god it was distracting, _but now wasn't the time._ He tried to break the hold Sam had on him only to realise struggling up against Sam was just getting him hard as their bodies rubbed together.

The phone rang again and Sam surprised him by answering it, silencing his objections by clamping his hand over his mouth all the while staring down into his eyes.

‘This is Tech Support. ...No Mr. smith’s extension is not having technical difficulties, his computer however has just had cataclysmic system failure and we are trying to work quickly to save vital data, he doesn’t have time to stop for interruptions, so for the next 20 minutes no matter what, Mr. smith is absolutely unavailable’.

Dean glared at him, his green eyes sparking fury and he could only stare back for a moment. It just wasn’t fair; how could one person be this **hot**. He was so distracted Dean almost succeeded in sneakily grabbing the phone out of his hand.

He quickly put the call on speaker, spinning Dean around and sandwiching him between the desk and his hard body, wrapping one arm around him, trapping him in his embrace and clamping his hand over his mouth again for good measure. ‘Actually the problems even worse than I originally thought’ he choked out as Dean’s body rubbing up against his as he again tried to get away from him made his cock so hard it was painful. ‘Can you please just hold all Mr. Smith’s calls until he notifies you otherwise himself’ he barked slamming the receiver down and pulling out the connection wire when Dean tried to dive for the phone.

‘Such a hot little workaholic’ Sam hissed suddenly sweeping everything off the desk, and pushing Dean backwards on to it while climbing on top of him.

Was Sam crazy? _!_ _His designer desk wasn't nearly as strong as the hefty Price Tag would suggest, and Sam was a huge man with a penchant for fucking like a wild animal -how the hell would he explain what happened to the supplies department if they broke it! Not to mention the atrocity of Sam sweeping everything onto the floor, completely ruining his neat and orderly desk set-up and almost wrecking his stupid work computer -_ Sam kissing the hell out him distracted him from his thoughts and he found himself responding to Sam’s kisses despite his own objections.

Sam was unbuttoning Dean’s expensive shirt, placing hot opened mouthed kisses on every inch of newly exposed skin as he did. ‘Mine’, he breathed as he tugged Dean’s shirt free of his pants spreading it open and revealing Dean’s perfect body, ‘ ** _mine’_** , he snarled kissing Dean’s neck hungrily, his hands exploring Dean’s chest, pinching his nipples hard, causing Dean to buck underneath him, moaning helplessly as he was sucking and biting them, Dean was bucking up against his hot demanding mouth as he was tonguing his nipples into hard needy peaks, his hands at Dean's hips pulling his boxers down.

Dean smelled of fresh soap as he kissed a greedy path down his naked torso and Sam realised he must have had a quick shower in the executive washroom, it would explain why he had that just scrubbed glow.

Sam smiled darkly, _Dean was just so **fucking delicious** , _so damn _clean,_ while he was so _sweaty and **dirty**_. ‘I’m gonna make a mess out of you’ he growled kissing Dean’s hard length over and over getting it good and wet from his hungry tongue and willing mouth, sucking him down as far and hard as he could, doing all the things Dean had taught him, keeping the suction tight until Dean started moaning helplessly, growing bigger and harder as he sucked his cock hungrily, until Dean’s body started shuddering his helpless moans of pleasure loud enough to be overheard, but Sam didn’t care he wasn’t about to stop. Dean’s head snapped up, his back arching, his body shuddering as he sucked Dean’s orgasm out of him using his tongue to prolong the pressure, using his teeth to torment him as he pushed him hard over the edge using Dean’s very own tricks against him, -and the desperate sounds he was making were driving him so crazy he was forced to quickly clamp down on his own cock through his pants to prevent himself from coming, it almost didn’t work but he wanted to come inside Dean so badly he forced himself to hold out as Dean collapsed helplessly back onto the desk while he was savagely sucking the last of his orgasm from him.

Dean was flushed, breathless and panting, and it was turning him on so hard he had to keep squeezing his cock to prevent himself from coming while his eyes were traveling over Dean spread out in front of him, and something **dark** took him over, just like that time in the elevator when he had been dangerously tempted by Dean spread out helpless before him, bound and defenceless.

The way Dean groaned at the sound as he lowered his zip made his heavy aching cock impossibly harder and so sensitive to the touch he had to handle himself carefully as he used the sweet scented lubricant Dean still had stashed in his inside jacket pocket, slicking them both, careful not to stroke himself any more than he had to because _Dean had him so damn close already._

‘Gonna give you every inch of this’ he growled slapping his heavy cock repeatedly against Dean’s ass, ‘ _ready to take it?’_

‘No’ Dean panted out.

‘I’m kinda starting to like it when you say that to me’ he murmured low and dark in Dean's ear, pushing into him hard while Dean cried out, his strangled moan tearing at his limited self-control, ‘take all of it Dean’ he ordered slowly ramming his way home, ‘take every last inch, yeah, that’s it, that’s it, I’m almost there’.

‘Sam, stop, that’s too… oh that’s too deep, **_that’s too deep!_** _’_

‘Don’t run from it’ Sam seethed holding his hips still as he sank in that last fraction, his heavy balls tight with seed finally pressing up against Dean’s ass, the feeling overwhelming him as he gritted his teeth, fighting the violently desperate urge to come.

Sam felt **_huge_** , and as hard as living rock, _was he trying to kill him?_ _It was too much._ he _couldn’t_ take it! He tried to move his hips back, trying to shift their position so Sam wasn’t so deep inside him.

 _‘Keep still’_ Sam growled harshly, as Dean writhing underneath him whimpering ‘Oh god, oh please, so big, so deep’ had him pulling back halfway, squeezing hard on the base of his cock trying desperately to make it last.

‘Ahh Sam… no, it’s… it’s too much’ Dean sobbed as Sam drove back into him as deep as he could get.

‘Ssh, take it, _take it_ , ah you feel _so good_ ’. The flimsy desk was rattling underneath them as he was driving his cock into him hard and fast until Dean started to convulse under him and he quickly pulled out of him before it was over for them both.

Dean actually cried out at the sudden loss and he bit back a loud groan, plunging his hard cock back into him as deep as he could, smothering Dean's cries with his hand over his mouth, fucking him harder and deeper while looking into his eyes. ‘Yes’ he growled as Dean started coming, his body shaking underneath him, his hot seed spurting up between their damp stomachs, his fast thrusting smearing Dean's orgasm over them both, ‘yeah, that’s it, come, _come for me,_ so good, so fucking good, **_can't take it anymore’_** -suddenly dark lust was licking flames across his skin, consuming him, burning through his tenuous grip on control, and the beast that Dean brought out in him sprang forth, hungry and savage, biting into Dean's neck ferociously, demanding his total surrender as he was pinning Dean's hands either side of his head, holding him down, fucking him brutally hard, the desk rattling off its hinges as Dean was struggling underneath him, protesting and crying out against the sudden violence, _but his blood was **pounding** in his ears_ and he couldn’t make himself stop because he was exploding inside Dean, rapid contractions of intense pleasure hammering into him, and it was Dean’s turn to cover his mouth, smothering his animalistic growling as he was gripping Dean’s hips, pounding his cock even deeper inside him. Dean went limp in his arms, fucked out and unable to take any more, his hand falling away from his mouth, and he had to be closer, deeper, touching his forehead to Dean’s, grinding into him in rough hard circles. Dean wasn't responding, _he had to stop_ , but he couldn’t make his body obey his mind, his orgasm just wouldn’t end and he was going crazy with the sensations, slamming into Dean again and again, but Dean wasn’t there with him anymore, he had to **_stop_**.

I love you was all he could think, as he pulled himself back from the brink of insanity, forcing himself from fucking Dean through the desk, his whole body shaking with the effort of stopping as he pulled out.

‘m’ sorry Dean, I got ...carried away at the end… you kinda drive me crazy’ he ground out struggling for breath, trembling, and completely overwhelmed, kissing Dean shakily on his beautiful lips and trying to smile as if he hadn't just lost control and brutalised Dean, **_as if he hadn't just scared the hell out of himself when he couldn't stop_** _._

Dean was fighting for breath but he raised his hand to his face for a second before his hand fell back exhausted on the desk. _Dean was forgiving him_ and he cursed at himself; he didn’t deserve forgiveness, _because he wasn’t sorry._ He wanted to be, with everything in him he **wanted** to be, _but he wasn’t._ It was that feeling again, that raw primal _instinct_ that kept whispering to him low and insidious that Dean was **his** , that he had always had been his, _and he could do whatever he wanted to him._

It was that part of him that was more animal than man, always in the background, prowling, scenting, hunting. He should have realised just how thin a line he'd been treading, instead the dark instinct kept feeding the beast in him until it had **_completely_** taken over, and Dean the person he was in love with and wanted and _needed_ to trust him, the person he most wanted to protect in this world had suffered for it, _suffered because of him._ If he hadn't been able to remind himself of how much he loved Dean and use that to somehow claw his way back how far would it have gone? _how badly could he have…_ It was bad enough as it was, but thinking about how much worse it could have been was **terrifying**. - _He didn't understand himself_ , he didn't _want_ to hurt Dean, but there was this increasingly darker edge to being with him, _something just wasn't **right**._

Dean raised his hand tiredly to Sam’s forehead smoothing out the impressive number of furrows as Sam seemed to be going through some kind of internal conflict, leaning his face into his hand as he cupped his cheek and kissing his palm over and over as if seeking forgiveness. ‘Hey, it’s alright, I mean we were teasing each other and it… kind of combusted, right? It’s okay’.

He couldn’t trust himself, Dean didn’t know how close he had come to not stopping, even when it was clear he couldn’t take anymore.  
There was something... _**wrong** with him_, there had to be, _what the hell was happening to him?_

He wanted to say he was sorry as he stared down into Dean's beautiful eyes. He wanted to say _I love you, I swear I didn't mean to be so rough with you again._ But staring into Dean's eyes was just getting him harder, because staring into Dean's eyes did something to him, something he couldn't explain other than it made him insane, wrenching at his gut with pain he didn't understand, laying him low with love so overwhelming, so all-consuming it was beginning to scare him, and was it love or something else, some dark thing he couldn’t name filling him with lust so violent it was turning him into a savage predator, a beast who conquered and fucked, _who treated Dean like prey_.

He grew scared of the dark thoughts seeping into his mind the longer he looked at him, because he was still half laying on him, so close he could take him again, bite, _savage, mark, **dominate**_.

 _His self-control was dangerously low,_ he couldn’t even speak, he was terrified the deep black, blood red thoughts churning tumultuously through his mind would spew forth;

_I own you Dean, your heart, your soul, your mind, your body, every part of you belongs to **me** ;_  
_you were made for me, gifted to **me** ; _  
_you are my reward for everything I have suffered and everything I will yet suffer;_  
_you are my flesh and blood talisman to keep me strong for everything I have done and everything I must yet do;_  
_you are the fire that warms my heart when it is cold, the passion that purifies my blood while darkened fever ruins me;_  
_you are the one that intoxicates, enslaves, and tempers my soul;_  
_you are **mine and mine alone,** to touch and taste and fuck; _  
_you exist to be devoured by me;_  
_you are my salvation and my damnation._

He backed away, afraid of his bizarre and disturbing thoughts. He didn't even understand what he was thinking, half of it made no sense and the other half was _downright scary_ , yet he was _still_ hard as if he hadn't just come, as if he hadn’t almost fucked Dean half to death in the process, and now he was just standing here, erect, half naked, and he worried, increasingly unhinged.

He went to zip himself away but his hand stilled his eyes flickering back up to Dean _because he still wanted him_ , and the disturbing thoughts seering his mind were burning out a single message:

_You're mine Dean, **mine** , and I'm going to fuck you again and again, as hard and long as I want,  
**maybe then you'll understand who you belong to.** _


	27. Reflection

Sam clamped his mouth shut fighting for some semblance of control as he slowly zipped himself away ignoring the persistent ache in his cock that said he wanted more, _needed more_. He moved towards Dean helping him up from where he still lay on the desk. Dean shook him off when he tried to usher him into his office chair, but he touched his shoulder briefly to take the sting out of it and Sam understood that Dean wouldn’t allow him to fuss over him just because he had fucked him too hard.

Sam bit into his lip and concentrated on the little things, cleaning up Dean's desk, _not throwing him back on it_ , putting his things back on the desk, _not how beautiful Dean looked when he was fucked out_ , getting himself in order, putting his polo shirt back on, _not stripping Dean naked._

After a wipe down with some moist towelettes, a quick spritz of cologne, and a cursory wave of his palm through his hair Dean was looking absolutely fucking _perfect_ again, not to mention possibly glowing even more, and he wanted him, _he wanted him_ , HE WANTED HIM, he was hard again, he was ready again, had he ever actually even stopped being hard or had he just been hard for Dean all this time? He _didn't fucking know_ , urgh, why couldn't he just take what he wanted, he had a right to him, _a right to take what was his_ and no one else's. His eyes darted to Dean's shoulder, Dean didn't belong to anyone else, no one else had a claim on him… Dean was his _right_? He could do what he wanted to him right? He backed away from Dean suddenly afraid of himself.

_What the fuck was wrong with him?_

Dean's eyes followed him quizzically and he heard words pouring out his own mouth. ‘So er.. you must be hungry after all… that, I'm just gonna run to the canteen and get you something to eat okay, I'll be right back, er, don’t move’.

‘Hey Sam there's no need to-’ but he was talking to his empty office, Sam had already fled and that was the right word for it, Sam looked… _spooked_.

Dean frowned. _There was something going on with Sam._

At first he'd just thought Sam was insatiable and left it at that, but now he was starting to think… Dean sighed. He didn't know what he thinking, it was just that, he could swear Sam was almost _addicted_ to fucking him, in fact, he was pretty sure Sam had just growled that in his ear when he came.

Maybe that was what Sam really meant when he kept telling him he loved him, maybe Sam had it really bad, and it wasn't as if he didn't have really deep feelings for Sam, _he did._ If anyone other than Sam had asked him to give up everything he had worked for and come away with them the answer would have been ‘no’, plain and simple, nothing to think about, yet here he was thinking about it because Sam was… Sam was… Heck, he couldn't define what Sam was to him in words, he just _knew_ he couldn't walk away from him.

But that didn't mean he felt the need to pound Sam through the nearest available surface every time he laid eyes on him… Well okay, maybe he did sometimes… There was something about Sam that drew him in and kept him there. He was so responsive, so unpolished, so deliciously earnest, no pretence, no lies. Everything he was feeling he poured into his actions. He was without a doubt the most amazing sex he'd ever had. Yes, he definitely adored fucking him, -but being fucked _by_ him was so _intense_ sometimes it was borderline frightening.

Sam was a savage in bed, there was no doubt about it, and in those moments when Sam was going crazy on him the strange connection between them, whatever it was, blazed hot out of control, -like at the end just now when his body had been wrung dry and he couldn't respond anymore, he could tell, _he could feel_ how hard Sam struggled with himself as this thing between them went supernova _again_.

Whatever it was between them seemed to just **burn** through Sam's self-control. It _raged_ through him, _he could feel it_ , and it was clearly starting to freak Sam out. He could relate, it was starting to freak him out too. In fact, the only real difference between them was he was better at pretending everything was okay. For whatever reason looking after Sam and pretending everything was okay even when it wasn't, felt disturbingly like second nature to him.

Sam slammed Dean's office door shut and rested his head on it. He probably just looked like an idiot to Dean running away like that, _but he had to_ , he had to get away from Dean that very _second,_ or he was going to fuck him again and again _and again_.

**What the hell was wrong with him?**

Why was he like this? He didn't want too…

_He didn't…_

_**He was lying to himself**_.

He did want too, _he wanted to so badly_. He wanted to go back into that room and fuck him and bite him and taste him. He wanted to take him and lock him away from the world and fuck him all the time.

He ran his hands through his hair. Fuck, he was going crazy! He could smell Dean's scent on him and it was making him breathe harder and faster. If he tilted his head to the side he would be able to smell Dean on the other side of the door, his eyes were burning in his skull and his head ached, he had to get away, he had to calm down, _he was acting like an animal_ , no wonder Dean said he fucked like one.

He walked away from Dean's office striding towards the non-exec men's room grateful to find it was empty so he could splash water on his face and growl at himself to calm down without an audience.

He stared at himself in the mirror above the sink. ‘ _Calm down’_ he repeated looking at his wild-eyed reflection.

For a horrible moment it stared back at him quizzically as if _it_ was perfectly calm and _he_ was the one freaking out.

He backed away terrified because he wasn't looking at his reflection, _it was looking at him,_ studying him, _smiling_ at him, when he wasn't smiling at all.

_Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, you just had to give into it didn't you, and now you're in a fix. You can't let go of him, it's eating away at you every minute of every day._ 
_You know he's starting to notice you're sick obsession with him right? How it's starting to disgust him. Soon he's going to hate you, he's going to leave you because you're a freak, but you already know you are, don't you Sam?_ 


His reflection came out of the mirror at him, its eyes were black, blood was smeared all over its teeth and it was grinning wide and macabre.

He backed away, his eyes wide in terror. He was losing his mind, this Sandover thing, this ghost fuzzy thing, it was finally making him completely crazy.

_You’re not crazy Sam, you’re **evil**. There’s a difference._ 


The monstrous reflection laughed, its mouth unmoving as it spoke to him but he could _hear_ every word in his brain with sickening clarity.

_Crazy people at least have an excuse, they don't know what they're doing, they're crazy, but you know what you're doing don't you Sammy? You know who he is to you. I do and I like it, I can admit it, but you, what's your excuse Sammy?_ 
_You're supposed to be the better half of us right? -Mmm but the things you're doing to Dean, the things you're making him do, what's your excuse for that?_ 
_He doesn't have a clue who he really is, he's vulnerable, and you love having him like that, your cocks so hard for him most of that time that you can't even think straight, all you want is to have him again and again and again, what do you think that really says about you huh?_ 
_You're sick Sam. You're sick and you know it, You're using him, and when he finds out the truth about you he's going to hate you for what you did to him. He's going to leave you. You're going to lose him again, you know that don't you Sammy?_ 


His reflection stared at him with its bottomless black eyes and pain exploded in his head.

Dean was laying in his arms the light fading from his eyes, the small shard of pure gold in his iris that always caught the light and twinkled was going pale and frosting over with death and still he couldn't let Dean go. Not when a gruff voice begged him to, called him son and said they had to burn Dean. Not when rough hands tried to drag him away. Not until pain exploded in the back of his head and everything went dark and the last thing he felt was Dean's body being pulled away from his arms.

_That's it_ 


The reflection smiled at him.

_That's it, you remember now don't you Sammy boy? **Dean died** , because you were weak and pathetic. You weren't strong enough to save him, he died and he went to hell, and it was all your fault Sam._ 


Sam backed away his hands clamped to his head his eyes shut as hot blood seeped from his nose into his mouth.

_**He died to save you.**_ 


‘No, NO, it's not true. Stop it’ Sam screamed.

_It is true, **they tore him to pieces in front of you.**_ 


‘No you're lying’ Sam bellowed ‘stop it, stop it, STOP IT’.

_Do you remember the sound of him screaming as that thing tore into him?_ 


No, no’ Sam whimpered ‘it didn't happen, it didn't, it's not real, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming, I have to wake up’.

_**It tore into him even when he stopped screaming it just kept cutting into him.** _ 


‘No, **NO** ’ Sam could feel pain slicing into his skin like sharp claws, hear an invisible beast growling, he could smell the blood, hear the screams, and the laughter, _what_? someone… was laughing, someone…

Sam roared in fury, **he was going to kill her!** He couldn't remember her name but he could picture her face clearly, blonde hair, smiling face, taunting laughing as she watched the thing tear Dean apart, her whole body quivering in pleasure. No matter what it took, he was going to tear her to pieces from the inside out, he was going to kill her. Dean was dead, she killed him, she killed him, SHE KILLED HIM … **Dean was dead.**

...

… _No,_ NO! Dean was alive, _he was just with him_ , he could still _smell_ Dean on him, _Dean came back to him_ … didn't he?... didn't he?

‘Oh god’ Sam moaned, ‘oh god what's happening?’

‘What’s going on?!’ Sam screamed blood pouring from his nose as his head split and burned, ‘Dean’ he roared, ‘Dean I need you!’

But as he called for Dean he was engulfed in a burning bright vision, a man he’d never seen before, older, weather-beaten, wearing a baseball cap and flannel as he spoke to him like a father would. _The man was telling him to… **bury** Dean._

“We have to burn him Sam, you know the drill, I ain't sayin it's gonna be easy it's… _Dean_ , but we got too”.

“No. He's gonna need a body when I bring him back”.

“How are you gonna do that, you're not gonna do somethin crazy are you Son?”

What was that? What had he just seen, Who was that man who called him son and begged him to bury...‘ **No!** Dean's not dead’ he sobbed desperately, ‘he's alive he came back. Dean help me _please-please_ ’ he begged, hot tears spilling from his eyes, ‘you're alive. You're alive, you _have_ to be’.

_Keep telling yourself that Sammy, poor little Sammy, you couldn't save Dean, and now you're wasting your time pretending he's still alive instead of hunting down the thing that took him from you._ _Still don't want to believe he's dead? Do you want to see the moment he dies again, the moment he stopped screaming even though he was still being torn to shreds, **Do you want to see it again?**_ 


‘No god no please don't show me that please, not again, not again, I can't, I'm begging you stop it’.

_He went to hell **and it's all your fault.**_ _Do you even **know** what they did to him there?_ _**You** could have prevented it, all of it, but you weren't strong enough to save him and now you want to play with him in this pretend color-saturated fantasy._ 


‘Please I'm begging you please stop it, Dean, help me, **please** ’.

_Dean can't help you because Dean's **dead.**_ 


‘NO! he's not dead he came back, he came back to me, HE’S NOT DEAD!’

_You remember what it felt like when he died? How most of you died with him?_ 
_The only thing that kept you alive was revenge, and now revenge doesn't matter, because he was suddenly brought back to you, alive and more beautiful than ever, and now you get to have him, in the ways you never could before. Does that seem real to you Sam?_ 


‘But I was just with him, I was…’

_**Really?** _How did you get him back? What did you do? **How did you get Dean out of hell?**__ 


__

‘I…I… months and months, no one would deal, no one would take me instead, no one would trade, I couldn't get him back, I couldn't get him back… how did he come back? …’

__

_Finally starting to get it Sammy? He didn't come back, **he's still dead**. You're living in a fantasy where he came back to you. _ 


__

_Do you **really** believe he mysteriously came back from hell, just like that?_ 


__

‘No, something… someone brought him back’

__

_Really Sam? Doesn't that seem a bit too convenient, just the kind of thing you might tell yourself so you could live in a dream world instead of facing the truth?_ 


__

‘No he came back, Dean's… he's with me… _he's with me_ ’.

__

_Isn't it more likely you finally accepted what you are and went to hell after him and they opened the gates for you, rather than him magically being brought back to you?_ 


__

_Isn't it more likely that you're in hell right now, and you're doing all the things to him that you always wanted to because you're really a demon Sam, a monster, just like the things you want to pretend to hunt in your fantasy world._ 


__

_You'e a demon, you're in hell with what's left of Dean's soul, he doesn't even know who he is anymore and you're using him, toying with his body just like all the others._ 


__

‘Shut up I'm not, I'm not, I would never hurt Dean’

__

_How long has Dean been dead Sam? how long have you been in hell, do you even know who you are anymore?_ 


__

_It's called hell for a reason. Maybe you're so **lost** in this fantasy world you don't even realise what you're doing. _ 


__

_Don't you think it's convenient you just happen to be lost in this dream world while the bitch that killed Dean is still roaming the earth free? Ever think that's how she wants it? You so lost in this trick you forget all about her while Dean's soul rots in hell and you keep forcing yourself on him thinking it's love._ 


__

_Can't you see you're just helping her torture him?_ 


__

‘Shut up, everything you're saying… it's… you're lying, you have to be…

__

But they were attacked before and Dean said… Dean said his eyes were like the thing that attacked them… but then there was no one there… no one had come to the apartment… that… that didn't happen, he had dreamt that. He wasn't a monster, he wasn't hurting Dean... **Dean wasn't dead.**

__

_He is, and you are a demon, just like the animals that attacked you._ 


__

‘But if I'm... really in hell…’

__

_You have enemies. **Everywhere.** Do you think demons want to be ruled by a half-breed freak? They broke into your little fantasy world with Dean and attacked you, and then you pretended it didn't happen and made Dean forget everything, you even had yourself fooled for a while, but you're good at that aren't you Sammy, you're good at pretending you're normal._ 


__

‘No…’ he moaned as the pain in his head became unbearable, ‘stop saying I'm a monster that wants to hurt Dean. You're a liar, you're just the ghost thing trying to mess with me, you made Ian and Paul kill themselves and you're trying to make me do the same thing, but it's not going to work!’

__

_Look again Sam. **See the truth**. You held him in your arms, you ran your fingertips over his beautiful soft pink lips until they went blue and stiff. You held him and buried your face in his neck and **screamed** and **cried** and **begged** anyone who was listening to take you instead. You held him sobbing and helpless until his sparkling green eyes went pale, but no matter how much you begged and pleaded the light in his eyes never came back. He's dead, **and you know it**_ 


__

‘No! You're not real, none of this is real. Dean’s alive! There's no such thing as hell, I'm not a monster trying to hurt him, none of it's true!’

__

_Of course it is, why do you think you keep on pushing it so far? That no matter how much you have him, no matter what you do to him you can't get enough?_ 


__

_Why do you think you're so obsessed with him? Why you can't stop running your fingers over his soft pink lips? Why you can get hard by just looking into his vibrant, alive, green eyes? Why do you think the scent of his warm body alive and yours for the taking drives you so insane with the need to be close to him? It's because the lie feels real when you're touching him, when you're burying yourself in him over and over as deep as you can get, until you start to believe the lie, until you fool yourself into believing this fantasy where he's still alive, and any day now he's going to run away with you._ 


__

_Deep down you know it isn't true Sam, none of it is, but you can't make yourself stop because you're sick, you're obsessed with him, you want him at any cost, and that's why you almost didn't stop fucking him just now even when you knew you were **forcing** him._ 


__

‘Stop it, stop lying, STOP TRYING TO CONFUSE ME’

__

_Stop lying to yourself, all you do is hurt him, you're sick Sam, **you're a freak** and deep down you **know** it._ 


__

‘My head, **I can't stand it** ’ Sam cried, feeling his blood running hot and cold in his own head, burning and freezing, the pain crippling him as he tried to get away, but his body remained frozen to the spot, ‘stop it, Dean came back to me, he's not dead, he came back to me’.

__

_No he didn't, he's **gone** he's **dead**. You wanted him back so much you prayed and prayed and tried everything you could, and when that didn't work you gave into the only power that could help. _ 


__

_But you couldn't accept the truth about yourself when you got there. You couldn't accept what you really want from him, how dark it is, how sick it is. So you concocted this fantasy world where you can do whatever you want to him with no consequences, where he doesn't cry, break, or bleed when you fuck him within an inch of his life. Where he ties you up and punishes you so you can remember what it feels like to have someone boss you around and tell you what to do, because deep down part of you misses that from him, part of you needs it, craves it._ 


__

_You couldn't live without him so you let yourself become a monster to get to him. That's the truth Sam, and now you're lost. Hallucinating. Imagining he was brought back to you, alive and whole. He never was Sam. **HE'S DEAD**._ 


__

‘Shut up, **he's not dead** ’.

__

_You weren@t smart enough to find a way to save him, remember? He died in your arms, his blood went cold, you held him until his eyes frosted over and his body went cold and stiff._ 


__

‘No… don't make me see that again, no Oh god please stop, please, he came back, he's alive, he came back, please this can't be another dream, I can't take it, please, I can't take it, I don't know what's real anymore, God I'm begging you please, please help me’.

__

_God doesn't listen to freaks like you Sam, monsters that do dirty unclean things with demons. God doesn't want you, that's why he took Dean away from you._ 


__

‘No’.

__

_You're a **DEMON** Sam, **face the truth**! _ _She couldn't kill you Sam don't you remember? The thing that killed Dean, a demon that powerful couldn't lay a hand on you, remember? How else did you get out of there alive? She ran away from you, she was afraid of you, because you're even more monster than she is. That's why nobody wanted your soul, that's why they wouldn't trade with you._ 


__

_Think about it Sam, who ever heard of a demon making a crossroads deal with another demon? They couldn't use your filthy soul to bring Dean back even if they wanted to, the deal only works with humans. Do you understand now, do you accept the truth?_ 


__

_You couldn't bring him back because you’re a demon, the same as the bitch that killed him, and now what you're doing to him makes you no better than the beast that ripped into him._ 


__

_You couldn't live without Dean so you walked into hell after him, what ordinary human can do that? None. Only a demon can, or a demon hybrid freak like you._ 


__

_And look at you, now you have it all twisted in your sick mind. You're actually trying to make yourself believe that you and Dean are two regular people in love. It's so pathetic I almost feel sorry for you._ 


__

_You're not with Dean on earth, you're in hell, you're a demon and you're torturing his soul. You're using him, fucking him as much as you can. You're obsessed, it's all you can think about, and she's still out there and laughing at you, just like when she killed Dean. She's laughing at you Sam._ 


__

‘Shut up’

__

_**You're a monster Sam** , you kill everybody around you, you pretend to love them and then you get them killed._ 


__

‘Shut up stop saying that’.

__

__Nobody should love you__ 


____

‘Shut your mouth’

____

_Dean loved you and you used him up and stood there and watched him being butchered to death, and now you're pretending to be his boyfriend and raping him every chance you get._ 


____

_That's how you repay him for trading his life and soul for yours?_ 


____

_You're sick, you're a monster, **You're** **no better than the filthy thing that killed him.**_ 


‘Shut up’

_Your mother is dead because of you._ 


____

‘Shut your fucking mouth’.

_Your father is dead because of you._ 


____

‘No’

_Dean is dead **because of you.**_ 


____

‘Stop it!’

____

**********_Dean is dead because of you!_ ** _YOU HAVE KILLED EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER LOVED YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE A **FREAK**. A **MONSTER**. A **DEMON**. AN **ABOMINATION**._ 


____

‘NO! Shut up’.

____

_You're a monster Sam, and because of you, Dean's going to suffer again and again. You know you can't hide away in this little fantasy world forever._ 


____

_Eventually they're going to burn you out of this little dream land, and when they do, they're going to rip Dean out of your arms and they're going to tear him apart just like before. You can't stop them, you're not strong enough._ _You're still so weak. Are you going to stand there like last time, a snivelling weak pathetic little child, crying and begging for her to stop just like before?_ 
_They're going to laugh and laugh while you scream for them to stop as they kill him in front of you, but this time will be worse because you can't die forever in hell Sam, which is where you, are whether you want to accept the truth or not._ 
_And when this little corner of hell, this fantasy place you made comes crashing down and they take Dean from you again, and there tearing him open, killing Dean over and over until your throat is so raw from your screams you can't even be heard begging them to stop over their laughter. Then Sam, then they are going to start doing things to him that even you cannot imagine._ 
_Or can you?_ _He's **beautiful.** Isn't he Sam, you can't resist his pretty face and body, why should they?_ 
_Because you didn't stop her, the one who killed Dean is still alive. Because of you Sam, Dean's going to be butchered, and beaten, and killed and raped over and over again on her orders, and just like before she's going to laugh at you and make you watch them, tearing into him, defiling him, violating him, and everything that happens to him, all the suffering is going to be your fault Sam, because you still can't face up to the truth about yourself and what you have to do to get strong enough to kill her._ 
_Dean is going to suffer in ways so horrible it will make what that thing that ripped him apart did to him seem like mercy, and when they start tearing into him and he starts screaming until the sound cuts into you and you feel his pain like it's your own, I just want you to know that I'm gonna be there Sam, right inside you where I always am, and I'm going to laugh at you as you stand there weeping like a coward unable to save the one person you claim to love above all others._ 


‘I SAID SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, shut your filthy lying fucking mouth. Nothing is going to happen to Dean! I'm going to protect him! I'm never going to let anyone hurt him, I'm never going to let anyone take him from me!’

‘It's you! **You're the monster** not me, you're the one that wants to do those things to Dean, you're the one that wants to hurt him and you're using me to do it!’

‘That's what's going on isn't it! That's why I'm always going so crazy on him you possessed me, didn't you? That's what you meant when you said you were always inside me. When we killed the ghost some of it must have gone into me, that's why I keep having weird dreams and blacking out, that'swhy I almost hurt Dean just now’.

IT'S YOU ISN'T IT! You're inside me and you want him, you want Dean for yourself! You can't have him, **do you hear me?** Dean's mine, MINE! Dean belongs to me only, you can't have him. I'm gonna kill you! Do you hear me you fucking lying ghost?’ He smashed his fists into the mirror cracking it, and the black-eyed thing multiplied infinite times in the splinters of the cracked mirror, his many reflections laughing at him as he furiously smashed his fist into the next mirror and the next roaring ‘whatever it takes **I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!** ’

__Stupid, **stupid** , child.__ 


‘Shut up! You're possessing this room, you're in the mirrors somehow, I'll smash them all to prices, I'll salt and burn this whole room, I'll burn the fucking building to the ground if I have to, but I'll stop you!’

_I am **in** you Sam. I'm not a ghost. You can't get rid of me by breaking a few mirrors. You can't get rid of me at all, I'm part of you Sam, I'm in your **blood**. You can't stop me._ 


**‘You're going to die!** Sam roared, ramming his fists into the last mirror until it shattered and fell into the sink below, the fragments in the sink showing his many black-eyed reflections laughing at him, cursing him.

__Monster, **Freak** , Demon.__ 


Their voices crowded in on his brain, talking, laughing, screaming, as the black-eyed thing wearing his face was in every fragment of mirror in the room, laughing, cursing.

_Weak. **Pathetic.**_ 


_He cried out from the violent pain in his head bellowing in rage as invisible fingers were touching him pressing into his brain until his head split open, blood pouring from his nose like a dark heavy river._

_Dean's dead and you're using his soul like a fuck toy instead of stopping him from being ripped apart again,_ 
_Or are you working up to doing it yourself_ 
_Is that it Sam, are you her bitch now? Is that why you're not getting strong enough to kill her anymore?_ 
_Do you want to work for her now? Do you want to torture Dean for her now that you have a taste of how delicious he sounds when he's moaning in pain?_ 
_Are you going to give up on revenge and become one of her little slave demons? Is that why you're playing make believe here instead of killing her?_ 
_Are you going to hide under her skirts for eternity, only coming out to play with what's left of Dean after everyone else has had their turn Sam?_ 
_Are you going to be a good little bitch demon boy and stay here, only coming out to play with Dean when she tells you too, is that it?_ 


His black-eyed reflections lied and taunted him, from every little sliver of glass as he was smashing them to pieces, attacking in a frenzy, ramming his bloody fists into broken pieces again and again, ignoring the terrible pain as the glass sliced deeply, cutting to the flesh underneath the skin until his fists were coated in blood, the glass shards piercing deeper and deeper every time he struck.

_Stupid animal Don't you understand? You can't stop me? I'm **inside** you, I'm part of you, you can't get me out. _ _Use me to kill her! Before she comes after Dean again, before she takes him away from you again!_ 


The lights flickered in the room, the electrical outlets exploding as he tried to pound the glass slivers into dust, blood flowing freely from his shredded hands. His head snapped back repeatedly, some invisible pressing fingers into the centre of his brain, but he wouldn't stop.

He was being shoved backwards as if by the force of the explosion suddenly detonating in his brain, blood racing out of his nose so fast he couldn't breathe as he slid across the floor.

The lights were fading in and out or was that his vision?

Blood was pouring out of his nose, mouth, and broken shredded hands in hard torrents, his heart pounding with adrenaline, pumping out his life's blood so fast he was starting to feel cold... week... empty... he felt like he was going to die, ‘De… Dean’, he tried to lift his head, tried to pull himself up, but everything was cold and dark and he couldn't get his body to move anymore.

_You can deny it all you want Sam._ 


The black-eyed splintered reflections whispered to him insidiously, invasively, seeping into his mind as he tried desperately to beat them back, to stop the blood, to move, get away, but he couldn't even cry for help, he was fading, slipping into the darkness, drowning in blood and pain.

_Deep down you know who Dean is to you. He doesn't have a clue that you're betraying him, that you know what you're doing to him, that you **like** it._ 
_**That's what makes you a monster Sam.** _ 



	28. Monsters Ball

…

Sam splashed water onto his face.

…He could have _sworn_ he felt a monster headache coming on again just now, one of the nose gushing blood variety, but the cold water to the face must have done the trick because now he felt… His head wasn’t splitting so… He glanced down at his hands suddenly expecting them to be covered in blood. _Why had he thought they were bleeding? Why would they be?_ Come to think of it, what the hell was he doing in here just idly staring at his reflection anyway? _What was he supposed to be doing_?

He struggled to remember but there was nothing there. A complete blank in his mind. _He **had** to still be Ghost fuzzy._ Maybe Dean was right and he _should_ see a doctor, but what was he supposed to say? Hello, my name is Sam and I think I have ghost related amnesia? That was likely to get him committed, not treated.

Dean didn’t seem to be having the same problem, and they fought Sandover’s ghost together. Maybe it was just taking longer to wear off with him.

_What was he meant to be doing again?_

…

…

He couldn’t remember and his head started to ache as he dried his face in the dingy staff bathroom. He was about to use some water to battle his hair into submission, when he noticed his reflection in the mirror was… _strange,_ and for a moment it was if it was somehow  _watching him_ … Ridiculous. Of course it was watching him, it was his reflection.

... But...

…

…

His hands were in his hair, slowly pushing it back from his forehead, but... he wasn't touching his hair, his reflection was... No, he couldn't be seeing this, what was... what was happening?  -Wait Something was... Had something _happened?_

He looked along the row of mirrors in the bathroom suddenly expecting them to be cracked, but they weren't, there was no glass on the floor, no **blood** , _no **screaming**_ …

_Why would there be screaming?_

Flashes of images flooded his mind and his head started to pound. He felt an invisible force, something pressing on his forehead and stepped back quickly as if moving away from something touching him.

Something was… something _wasn’t right_. Where was he! What was happening? _Where the hell was Dean?_

‘Dean!’ he shouted doubling over in pain, his head feeling like it was exploding _ **‘DEAN!'**  _he bellowed. What was happening?! _Where the hell was his bro-_

#  ** **************** **

-Sam looked around the Men’s bathroom. His hands pausing under the stream of cool water as he washed his hands.

_What was he supposed to be doing again?_

Dean’s image flashed into his mind. Dean. Oh yeah, _Dean!_

Dean was making him nuts _again_ and he’d come in here to get a grip before he lost it completely and spent the rest of the work day fucking him, not that he could seriously be blamed if he did, all he had to do was look at Dean to know his lack of control around him wasn’t entirely his fault. Dean was just _impossibly fuckable_.

 _-Wait, wasn’t he supposed to be, **doing something** for Dean right now_?

Oh yeah! He was supposed to getting Dean some lunch. Yes. He smiled. Something good, something to build his strength back up… _so he could have him again after work._

This time he would go slower, he would make it last longer and really pleasure Dean, he would get him hot and moaning his name before he even got inside him, and then… _damn it he had to stop thinking about that_ , he couldn’t go to the executive canteen where they served the food fit for fat cats tenting his stupid work trousers.

He noticed the mirror in front of the sink was missing. He could just bet this never happened in the executive washroom. He'd bet those jerks had mirrors in solid gold frames, polished to perfection by the local serfs.

Damn it, he just wanted to check his hair wasn’t standing on end before he left, but the mirror over the sink next to his was missing as well. Wait, _all the mirrors were gone_. Sam sighed. Had management decided the low class didn't need such luxuries, was that it?

...

But he could have sworn… Oh well, who cared. He'd just have to make do.

He ran his wet hands through his hair, quickly slicking it back as best he could without over wetting it, and drying his hands on his shirt when the paper towel dispenser was missing and the power for the air dryer was out.

This bathroom was a complete shamble! He would complain to maintenance, but he didn't have time for that or trying to sort out his hair in this dingy mirror-less pit. The lunch hour was wasting, and he wanted to get back to Dean.

He left the bathroom and started to feel better the further he got from it.

Maybe there had been some suicides that had been covered up there as well, just like the decapitation of the guard in the elevator. That men's room was probably full of vengeful ghosts.

He made a mental note to go back there some evening after everyone had left and do the ghost purification and exorcism stuff he had learned from watching the ghostfacer’s videos. Those guy’s advice had saved their lives when they fought Sandover. They were clearly real hunters who knew their stuff.

He headed to the elevators, then cursed himself for an idiot when he realised which one he had stepped into as memories of having sex with Dean assailed him, making him hard against his will.

He took a few deep breaths to calm down, but it wasn’t working as he gritted his teeth, trying to fight his reaction to remembering the tight heat of Dean surrounding him as he drove into him, the sounds Dean made, the way he'd smelled, the way he'd tasted. So good, _so fucking good._

His eyes slammed shut and he inhaled deeply trying to calm down, but it was useless. He had fucked Dean hard up against this very elevator wall. He had tied him up, and licked him, and tasted him and swallowed him down, _and then fucked him until he passed out._

There was no calming down while remembering that!

He started sweating and wiped the back of his hand over his brow. The elevator seemed to be taking forever and he gritted his teeth, his thoughts drifting against his will to what he wanted to do to Dean later.

 _He would go slower,_ savour every moment of touching and tasting him, -for as long as he could anyway, he just didn’t have any real control over how crazy Dean made him.

The elevator finally opened and he cursed under his breath as he realised he had gone to the wrong floor. He was meant to be going to the executive canteen. The swill they served on the ground floor was not what he intended to buy for Dean.

He jumped back into the elevator quickly before the doors slid shut and nearly jumped out of his skin as he suddenly came face to face with Mr Adler. _Where the hell had he come from?_ Sam looked around, he must have been so preoccupied with the realisation he was on the wrong floor he hadn't noticed Adler getting into the elevator behind him.

He considered jumping back out if the elevator as the feeling of Adler’s eyes on him made his skin crawl, but it was too late. The doors were smoothly sliding shut effectively trapping him, and worse, _Adler was talking to him._

‘Young man, is there any particular reason your hair is dripping wet and you look like you just ran a marathon in the middle of the day?’ Adler’s eyes bored into his, ‘I take it you’re feeling alright, nothing contagious that might infect your fellow cubicle colleagues, giving them just the excuse they need to take paid days off on mass causing major loss of productivity to the company?’

‘Er… no, I’m fine sir’.

Adler just stared a hole in his head, his hawk-like eyes studying him like he was a bacteria specimen in a Petri dish, his expression making Sam recoil a full step back as he suddenly inexplicably felt like he was on trial, _he could **feel** Adler judging him._

‘I suggest you get yourself in line young man, as a Sandover employee you are expected to follow the dress code and maintain a certain standard of personal appearance. Is that clear?’

Sam broke eye contact and stared at his feet struggling to maintain his temper. Where the fuck did Adler get off? It was none of Adler’s business if his hair was wet and he was sweating through his shirt at lunch time when he was off the clock. He would have thought a man in Adler's lofty position would have something better to do than patrol the lifts at lunch time looking for scruffy employees. What was he supplementing his vast ill-gotten income with subsidies from the fucking hair and fashion police or something?

Sam looked up and realised Adler was still subjecting him to his creepy unblinking stare as if he expected him to say something.

‘I was er… working hard. Lugging heavy office printers and copiers about during my lunch break and I worked up a bit of a sweat sir’. He inhaled slowly for patience and resumed staring at the floor. ‘I’ll be sure to freshen up before I return to my cubicle’. _Yeah you old goat, I’ll be sure to go spruce myself up to sit for hours in my stupid fucking five-inch cubicle where no one can see me anyway._

He had another flash of involuntary memories as he stared at the elevator carpet remembering how delicious Dean had looked sprawled out, bound, naked, and unconscious in front of him _covered in bite marks._

He fought his reaction to the memory with every bit of determination he had, because _he did **not** want the memories of having the best sex of his life with Dean mixed up with memories of what a patronising dick Adler was being!_

‘Something you find interesting about the carpet young man?’

‘No sir’. _Don’t let him get to you. You need this job to keep pressure on Dean and get him to come with you, just a little more time and you can quit, take Dean with you, and never see this dick again._

‘Young man do I really have to tell you that it’s rude to stare at the floor when a superior is addressing you?’

_Seriously! was Adler actually frigging nuts, was that it? Was he going to go the full mile and call him a peasant next, who should know to look his betters in the eye when they gave him the honour of talking to him?_

He lifted his head and looked at Adler but said nothing.

‘Now you be sure to make yourself presentable before you get back to work young man. I wouldn’t want any of our investors to see you and think we are running some kind of special needs outreach programme for lost and abandoned big-foots’.

Adler’s creepy green eyes were dancing with a kind of malevolent joy, his tone radiating smugness and disdain at the same time and Sam flushed with anger.

 _This was so much worse than practically being called a peasant to his face. Adler was getting off on insulting him and trying to make him squirm. Why? Was this seriously how he got his jollies? How could any man be such a colossal asshole and live!_ He gritted his teeth. _He would just bet that most of Adler’s no doubt huge, yet undeserved paycheck, went to paying around the clock personal security to stop people trying to assassinate him in the halls like he deserved._

Dean’s image flashed in his mind again, and the memory of Dean’s maddening scent, beautiful face, and warm body wrapped around him as he was crying out "Sam, Sam, _oh god Sam"_ while he was fucking him right behind where Adler was standing, washed over him so strongly it almost brought him to his knees.

Adler’s mouth twitched as if something was amusing him and he tried to remain calm, running his hand through his wet hair and adjusting his stupid uniform. He could have sworn Adler was laughing at him even though he was mostly just staring and he prayed for the restraint not to plant his fist in Adler’s stupid smug fat face.

Adler’s expression suddenly changed, his mouth twisting in disdain, his hawk-eyed staring intensifying and Sam took another step back. Old man or not, Alder was almost as tall as he was, built, _and right now he was radiating menace_. Frankly, Adler was just plain _creepy_ and he just wanted to get away from him.

The elevator, which seemed to be taking all year to travel a few floors slowed as Adler glared at him, his eyes boring into his then looking him up and down in a way that made his skin crawl. _Something just wasn’t **right **about Adler.****_

‘Young man, when you go and see human resources for a change of shirt’, Adler leaned closer his lips twitching as Sam involuntarily leaned back, ‘might I suggest a change of pants as well?’

He refused to give Adler the satisfaction of looking down at his pants. He had checked them before he left the supply closet after Dean dragged him in there and fucked him senseless, and he'd checked them before leaving that miserable bathroom, so he knew they were dry and stain free.

He didn’t miss the insinuating accusation in Adler’s tone though, and worried if he somehow knew about him and Dean. But how? The camera had been off in the elevator. There had been no one around when he had sex with Dean earlier either in the supply closet or his office, and everyone in the company thought he was sleeping with Mitzy/Mable -after she apparently all but propositioned him in the elevator in front of onlookers. He’d been thinking about Dean at the time and barely noticed whatever it was she was saying to him, but if everyone thought something was going on between them it suited his purpose to let them.

‘I’ll be sure and check my appearance is up to standard sir’. _He refused to rise to the bait._

‘Good. If you need a replacement, I believe the company still has the pair of novelty pants the clown on stilts used at the last Christmas party, they _might_ just fit you’.

Adler’s eyes roamed his face, his smug look resuming as the elevator came to a stomach lurching halt and the doors finally opened. Adler walked past him out of the elevator then turned around, his eyes focusing on him with laser-like intensity. ‘Get back to work’, Adler ordered quietly, his voice strangely intense as the doors slid shut. _‘Get back to what you do best Sam_ ’.

He quickly pressed the button for the floor he wanted, jabbing it again and again, unable to get away from Adler fast enough.

He frowned as a thought struck him. Why was Adler, a man who thought everyone below an executive pay grade beneath his notice suddenly first naming him? -And what did he mean by "get back to what he did best?" He was passable at tech support he supposed, but he didn't give a damn about this job, and why would Adler think he was any better than the hundreds of other banana shirt-wearing workers in his department?

Sam’s frown intensified, his every instinct telling him that something was seriously **_wrong_** with this picture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Not about that waiting for the update life? Want some more good reading right now? Why not check out all of this ;D_
> 
> ###### 
> 
> I think it's safe to say Hot steamy Wincest is your thing if you have read this far. How about Wincest with less of a plot and more of unadulterated smut?! ;D please check out [_**As Happy as Larry**_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9708401)
> 
> _Dean rides a mechanical bull and Sam is not going to take that laying down any more than I was when I saw it and realised they were taunting us poor fangirls directly in the face! ;o_ 

> 
> ###### 
> 
> How far is Dean willing to go to save _**his**_ Sam?[ _ **No Rest For The Wicked**_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11853411/chapters/26761590)
> 
> _Dean is being forced to watch helplessly as Sam is being tormented by Lucifer. and needs sleep before his body and mind collapse; unfortunately, the pills and caffeine he's wired on to stay alert and stop Lucifer from taking over mean that's not going to happen. Soulless Sam on the other hand never had to sleep, **a sure sign he wasn't human**. Be warned: the very definition of dubcon in places._ 

> 
> ###### 
> 
> If you would like a whole new spin on things why not take a look at [_**Hunted**_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1057769/chapters/2118972) _...Also pretty dark, just saying ;D_
> 
> _It starts with a simple question: How far would you go to get what you want?_ 

> 
> ###### 
> 
> Fancy a story that tackles the elephant in the room where Sam and Dean share a heaven? Check out [_**Soulmate **_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6530224/chapters/14940058)
> 
> _A new case forces Sam to think about what Ash told them in heaven, because if he and Dean really were Soulmates, **they were targets.**_ 

> 
> ###### 
> 
> Fancy the mother of all love triangles? [_**Magic Fingers**_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/988845/chapters/1950786)
> 
> _Sam, Dean, the "Magic Fingers", and pesky Angels that don't know how to knock_ 

> 
> ###### 
> 
> Love you some body swap style shenanigans, and unabashed high jinks? ;D Check out[ _ **Angel**_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/946470/chapters/1848093)
> 
> [](http://archiveofourown.org/works/946470/chapters/1848093)
> 
> _Something unexpected happens to Cas and Dean is not exactly helping matters_ 

> 
> _Now personally I do not believe this story is dark at all; it is mostly just dark humour. However, I have been told I am quite mistaken and Dean's full blow obsession with girl-Cas is just not right!_ 

> 
> ###### 
> 
> Still not sure I got what you need? Why not check out my [_**curiobi Master Fic List**_](http://fanficpics.wixsite.com/curiobi-fic-list)
> 
> There's a brief intro including a post ~~rant~~ about corporate a-holes trying to high jack our right to squee and ship who we want to! Then each chapter is a list of all my works in that particular Fandom. Please check it out I'm sure I have something for you gurl, and if not why not give me a prompt in the comments! ;D


	29. Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Curtain

Sam walked into Dean's office and saw him working away behind his desk, which he'd reorganised with all the anal retentiveness he could muster, _which apparently was a lot._

Everything was in its perfect place and position as if he hadn't recently swept it all to the floor so he could shove Dean onto the desk and fuck him within an inch of both their lives.

Dean was typing away a mile a minute on his computer, and he wondered if Dean even noticed he'd been gone.

‘leave him alone for five minutes’ he huffed under his breath, ‘and he's working himself to death and...’ his voice trailed off as he drank in Dean's appearance.

Dean didn't have a “just been fucked senseless” look on his face like Dean told him he did after Dean practically destroyed him in the supply closet.

In fact, he didn't look like he'd been fucked at all, never mind savagely on the very desk he was sitting behind now. 

_How did he do that?..._ How did he always look so pristine and ountouched?

It was like the more he bit him, fucked him, came inside him, left his hand prints on him, the more Dean looked like he'd never touched him...

… Dean never smelled of him either, not for long, not the way he could smell Dean on him, for hours afterwards.

His hand prints faded away quickly too, as if he couldn't mark Dean, as if despite being in his grasp Dean was elusive somehow.

It was as if he couldn't **_truly_** have him.

_Now do you understand Sam?_ 
_No matter how much you fuck him it's never going to be enough, because this isn't real._ 
_**He** isn't real _ 


That voice...

He watched as Dean picked up the phone and started speaking.

… He was pretty sure he'd damaged that phone, put a crack in it after slamming down the receiver annoyed by the constant interruptions when he was only concerned with kissing, undressing, and fucking Dean; but now the phone didn't have a scratch on it never mind a crack in it. Had Dean had a brand new one delivered?

‘Yes... no, the Jenkins report, I know, those frat boys are useless, am I right?’

... The phone hadn't rung and Dean hadn't dialled. The light that showed a connected call was in progress was off.

**_Dean was talking to no one_** _._

His eyes travelled over Dean but for once it wasn't just hungrily, he was _truly_ looking at him.

He'd _bitten_ Dean earlier, marked his neck just under his jaw above his shirt collar. He'd been out of his mind, his cock rammed deep in Dean's fire-hot body, wave after wave of raw electrical sensation pounding through him as he came inside Dean, and something even more primal, more savage than usual had taken him over and he'd bitten down hard, marking Dean where everyone would see.

_But Dean's skin was flawless in the spot he'd bitten._

How?

_You can fuck him as hard as you like and he never cries, never bleeds, never **breaks** _ 


That voice…

_He finally understood._

The voice that whispered to him, the black-eyed reflection that had cursed and lied and tormented him in the bathroom mirror earlier. _It was all **him!** __-_ Or at least the him he feared he would become after drinking Ruby's blood... That had to be it.

_But what was going on?_ Why did...

He moved closer to the desk and stared down at Dean who was so engrossed he wasn't paying any attention.

No, it was more than that, it was as if Dean was _rehearsing_ before the start of a play.

_Finally, he gets it! The curtain is not up yet Sam, I'm helping you see through the lies, slipping you backstage as it were, and now you can see the reality._ 
_Don't worry Sam, they're not paying any attention to the man behind the curtain, the demon puppet masters pulling the strings think what they did to you earlier in the bathroom worked, they cleaned you up and made you forget our conversation._ 
_They reset you, told you to get Dean food and come back here so you did what you were told._ 
_If the food gets cold while you wait, they'll replace it, if your mind collapses again, they'll stick another peeling band aid on it and tell you to stand until they're ready for you_ 
_Even if you're muttering to yourself, or doing things, or balls out crazy, they just ignore you, because all they need is for you to be an obedient little extra, waiting to be used, for the scenes you're in._ 
_Watch Sam_ 
_See how the “scene” is being reset?_ 
_They had to change Dean's perspective of how long you've been gone after your **epic** meltdown earlier, and it seems clean up took longer than usual after you fucked him partway to death. _ 
_You ripped his clothes, you marked him up, you made a mess out of him, and you trashed this place doing it_ 


Yes… He had..

‘Yes, **_I_** did. I swept everything off the desk breaking most of it, _and then I almost broke Dean’._

He looked around the office, taking in how everything in the room had been cleaned up, fixed and polished.

How Dean had been cleansed of his touch, his scent erased from his body, the marks he'd left on him gone.

…

Was this what was happening each time? Was that why he was going crazy with the constant need to have him, was this why he felt like he couldn't claim Dean hard enough no matter what he did?

_You can't **have** an **illusion** Sam. _ 
_Trying to is driving you crazy._ 
_Do you see the truth now?_ 
_You have a line Sam, something cheesy about being sorry for being gone so long, **then** the play starts_ 
_**None of this is real** _ 


He breathed out slowly, it was as if he could feel his eyes darken, feel the black flooding in, and suddenly he could see _through_ this, whatever it was, this _illusion_ , he could see the extra layer of sugar-coated fantasy beauty painted on Dean, _as if he needed it._

He could see that Dean's fingers speeding along the keyboard, weren't really typing anything, he was just repeating asdf hjkl asdf hjkl over and over.

He snapped his fingers in front of Dean's beautiful flawless face.

_Dean didn't react._

_God, what was happening? **Was any of this real?**_

_How many times Sam? **No!** Of course this isn't real! _ 
_This isn't really Dean in front of you, because Dean is dead and you know it._ 
_Now snap out of it! Let go of this fantasy. **Get back to hunting down that bitch Lilith!**_ 
_Have you forgotten what she did Sam? She held Dean's contract remember? She could have torn it up, or made a new deal, instead she set that hellhound on him, pinned you to the wall with her power, forcing you to watch as it was ripping him open, butchering him to death, and while you were desperately trying to save him, screaming and begging for her to make it stop, -she fucking **laughed!**_ 
_She laughed until Dean was nothing but a torn up dead body on the floor, then she tried to kill you, but something had changed, as if blind rage helped your power break through, and she couldn't **move** let alone kill you, all she could do was run, and she's been running ever since_ 
_You can't allow her to build up more power Sam. You need to stop wasting time playing around!_ 
_Hunt her down and kill her!_ 


… Lilith. Yes… he had to **_kill_** Lilith, _he knew that._ -But something about being trapped in hell with a fantasy version of Dean, didn't _feel_ right…

The voice in his head, his black-eyed self, wanted him to think this was hell, that he was trapped by Lilith's Minions, or more accurately, _allowing_ himself to be trapped because he couldn't deal with Dean's death, and he'd been here so long, he'd _forgotten_ it was a fantasy.

...But if this whole tech support Sam Wesson would be hunter fantasy thing was about distracting him from hunting down Lilith, and he was subconsciously _accepting_ it because of his inability to cope with Dean's death, then why did he keep waking up and violently breaking through?

The brain splitting pain, the nose bleeds, _-why the pain and suffering?_

In the bathroom earlier, he'd smashed his fists into shards of sharp glass until his hands had been shredded, his wrists slashed, he'd almost bled out and **_died_** _._

_It didn't make any sense that he would do that to himself if he wanted to be here._

No, it was much more likely that this was being done _to_ him against his will, _that was certainly how it **felt**._

God! _How did he figure out what he was up against when he had no idea what was real?_

… 

Okay, since he couldn't go on what he _thought_ was true because he was being made to think he was someone else, all he could do was try to figure out what he was up against based on what he **_felt_** was real, deep down, in his _gut instincts._

Okay. So, Dean thought he had been working at Sandover for six years. Personally, he didn't feel _any_ connection to this place whatsoever, certainly nothing that suggested working here for six years. His _memories_ said he and Dean had worked at Sandover for the same amount of time.

_His gut feelings said otherwise._

He'd overheard the Demon in Dean's fake apartment say they'd gone missing and the demons were here because they had been looking for them. The way the demon spoke didn't make it sound like they'd been missing over half a decade, - the urgency in his tone sounded as if they had vanished recently and there was sport in finding them, a competitive edge as if everyone was still hot on their trail.

If that was the reality then it was likely that not so long ago, someone or something took him and Dean and placed them in this colour ramped up fantasy as Dean Smith and Sam Wesson.

The Demon attack had felt real, there was no mistaking the _feeling,_ the strong adrenaline rush of killing them.

… That meant real Demons were looking for them and had attacked them, -but if this was hell, why would Demons be _so_ surprised to find him hiding out in a corner of it, locked in a fantasy? Surely, they would at least know he was in hell. They had seemed utterly surprised to see him, and delighted to see Dean as if he was a bonus they never expected to find and get to kill.

_It didn't make sense._

_..._

Unless...

_What if Demons were not the ones who had taken them at all?_

During and immediately after the Demon attack, he'd known who he was or close to it. He'd known things he couldn't possibly have known when he still thought he was Sam Wesson. He'd known their anti-possession tattoos were gone, that the mark on Dean's shoulder from being dragged out of hell was missing, and he'd thought only someone very powerful and very arrogant had the juice to do this to them.

Arrogant because they had removed their anti-possession tattoos leaving them vulnerable, and powerful because they had not only put false memories in their heads, _they had made them forget who they were completely_.

And Yes, Demons fit the bill for arrogant enough to try this, but they couldn't erase their anti-possession tattoos.

Which also begged the question: what Demon could take him against his will and forcibly put his mind into a fantasy, given that he could kill powerful Demons with his psychic abilities?

_It would be suicide for any Demon that even tried it._

The most powerful Demons around were Alistair and Lilith, and he'd already killed Alistair slowly for everything he'd done to Dean, _and he'd enjoyed it._

 _One down, **one to go**_ _…_

Lilith was all that was left of the first and most powerful Demons and she was weak. There was no way she had the juice to pull something like this on him, to hold him against his will, to implant him with false memories. _To make him forget Dean was his brother._

That took power, in the same way calling them Smith and Wesson took a complete lack of imagination.

He knew only one set of beings who matched the description of humourless, arrogant, and overflowing with power.

And they not only had the power to remove their anti-possession tattoos and mess with their memories with ease, they also had the colossal hubris to believe it wouldn't matter, _when it reality it had almost got them both killed!_

...

There was just one problem with this theory...

 ** _They_** had zero interest in him, “the boy with the Demon blood”. It was Dean they wanted.

 _…_ _Dean_

_That was the only explanation that made sense!_

Whatever was happening, it wasn't about him being in hell or his revenge against Lilith.

_It wasn't about **him** at all!_

... It made sense. They wanted something from Dean that much was obvious. They wouldn't shut up about how they had raised him from hell for their purposes while conveniently never stating what those purposes were, and from the beginning, they made it clear that to them Dean was their property, their tool.

What if this was some kind of ridiculous test or lesson?

...But why involve _him_ if it was _Dean_ they wanted?

…

There was one probable explanation.

Maybe they _had_ tried this without involving him, but given his connection to his brother, how deep it ran, it was possible, maybe even likely that any attempt to force this illusion on Dean would fail if he didn't exist in Dean's world in some capacity. In that case, it made perfect sense that he had just been made to tag along so Dean's subconscious accepted the fantasy.

… It explained why Dean seemed to be okay, while everything was _wrong_ for him, why his head had almost exploded so many times; be it his demon blood, psychic powers, or both, one thing was for certain, this illusion clearly wasn't working on him the way it was on Dean, and since he, lowly tech support to Dean's corporate golden boy, wasn't the chief focus of this stupid game, they obviously didn't care if he had a fucking brain aneurysm from their ill-informed attempt at the Matrix, he was just an afterthought, they needed him to simply be there. If he “acted out” they just healed his bleeding brain, cleaned up the blood and reset his memories.

_Just like they reset Dean._

He took a deep breath, because all of this could only mean one thing. _Dean was alive!_

-No. _He couldn't afford to jump to conclusions._ There was still the matter of the part of him that could see through this Illusion constantly telling him Dean was dead. That he had never been brought back. If that was true then everything he had just figured out was wrong...

Okay...

_Why would his black-eyed self torture him to the point of insanity with lies that Dean was still dead if he wasn't?_

Why would it act like it was trying to help him break free of his subconscious compliance with some Demon fantasy?

…

Feelings couldn't help him here, he suddenly realised because the voice, the ** _blood_** , it was **_in_** him, helping him see through this illusion.

It was too close, too real, too hot inside him to rely on his gut instincts.

_He would have to reason this out with cold hard logic._

Focus on _why_ the blood said what it did, _why_ it wanted him to believe so badly that Dean was dead.

_He is Sam_ 
_**Just like I've been trying to tell you all along** _ 
_Wake up! You're so stuck in this delusional illusion that your mind has broken, and round and round on the sick carousel you go, desperately clinging to the dwindling fantasy as Dean's soul erodes, making you crazier and crazier, more desperate for him, more hungry, more **savage** , trying your best to claim and keep what you can never have. _ 
_You have an entire team of Demons, you keep under your control while they cower in fear and despise the monster that can kill them with his mind._ 
_You force them to fix things when they go wrong, you have them dressing his battered, rotting, evaporating soul up prettily, so you can keep playing your fantasy hunter game._ 
_It’s sad, tragic, **pathetic** watching you pretending he's still alive, watching you waking up then re-trapping yourself in this sugar-coated fantasy where you're both still together in the real world_ 


**He ignored the voice**.

It was making it harder and harder to focus, to really _think_ about what was happening.

…

Okay, regardless of how he looked at it there were only two options here. 

On one hand, the voice that was the Demon blood in him was telling the truth.

On the other hand, the mounting logical evidence that the other side had taken them was true and the voice was lying to him.

_It had to be one or the other._

…

He couldn't rely on what he _felt_ here, all he could do was focus on _why_ the blood inside him whispering to him, would be lying.

It wanted him to wake up and accept that what he was looking at right now was _not_ Dean. It was just an echo of his dead brother. The last embers of his fading soul, given to or taken by him, either way as both a gift and a curse to distract him from... 

_Was he really so weak to accept that?_ No! He **_wanted_** to hunt down Lilith, he **_ached_** to kill her.

 _No fantasy ever concocted could save that bitch from him!_ Which meant he and the Demon blood inside him were on the same side where Lilith was concerned. They _both_ wanted her dead, - _so what was the point of lies?_

It didn't make sense, - _didn't that mean the voice had to be telling the truth_ _…_

-But too many things didn't add up in the version of events where this was a Demon fantasy, not least of all _how_ they could hold him against his will -wait hadn't the explanation from the voice just _changed?_

Didn't it say before that Demon “puppet masters” were resetting the scene, now suddenly _he_ was the one making the Demons do _his_ bidding, while his mind was breaking because he couldn't keep the dregs of Dean's diminishing soul in his grasp?

Damn it!

_He wouldn't get anywhere like this, he was just going around in circles, just like the voice said._

… He had to go back further, to remember how all this happened in the first place.

He took a deep breath. He didn't want to go back to that night, to be back in that room, the blood, his and Dean's frantic horrible screaming.

The voice had been forcing him to go back there time after time, and it had almost broken his mind.

Now he knew he had to go back, not just to see it, but to _remember it_ ,

He braced himself for the inevitable onslaught of pain that was to come and allowed his mind to return to the worst moment of his entire life

**_Only to find that he'd never left._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter _“Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain”,_ (a famous line from the Wizard of Oz film) never existed prior to a question from a commenter.
> 
> Initially the chapter _“Okay Mr Crabs”_ came next and I didn't feel any need to add another chapter to explain the time delay because at this point in the story it is obvious Sam and Dean are being screwed with by powerful creatures.
> 
> However, creatively something dark sprung up in my mind as I mused over that simple question:
> 
> _ Shouldn't Dean be wondering where Sam is? _ 

> 
> The chapter flowed out of my mind like a dark tide sweeping away reason and I nearly deleted it because I loved the intelligence of Sam and both loved and hated the arguable complicity in going behind the curtain, I delayed for ages, writing and rewriting until the chapter turned into 3 parts, then I decided to stop being a coward and post the first part and hope everyone is okay with going a little further down the rabbit hole with Sam!
> 
> ###### 
> 
> Just a little bit of Smith and Wesson history before you go if you like... 
> 
> When a reader on FF.net pointed out that Dean should be black and blue and unable to sit because Sam is way too rough with him. I realised I had obviously not done as good a job at explaining that as I thought I had. Then there were the lengthy and preachy lectures regarding proper BDSM practices from someone who wanted me to know Dean was doing it wrong and what was happening in my scene should be about, love, trust and safe words, not bondage and orgasm denial and I was like
> 
> I don't see any reason why it has to be either or!
> 
> I decided that the other criticism were no one understood why Dean wasn't covered in bruises was probably right though, and to quit being butt hurt, -no pun intended, unless it's funny then pun intended-, over no one understanding my subtle explanations and my literary vision for Dean, -and do some damn rewrites!
> 
> I didn't change the scene where Dean ties Sam up other than to, in my humble opinion, make it even sexier by making Dean even more domineering and Sam even more distraught and helpless.
> 
> And I certainly committed no such travesty as making Sam less aggressive! Sam's uncontrollable desire for Dean and his frustrations as to why this is happening to him is a major part of Sam's characterisation that will stay exactly as it is thank you. 
> 
> But, I did check, and according to the Supernatural Wiki, Dean is not known to be made of rubber or un-scratchable Teflon. Therefore, one has to conclude logically, that constantly being screwed within an inch of death by a man like Sam who is huge in every sense of the word and completely out of control might pose a problem. I realised I had to make it more obvious to the reader that something else is going on and there is a reason Dean is not being dicked all the way to death here.
> 
> So even though I did not tone down the explicit or primal nature of their sexual encounters (in fact I dare say it was quite the opposite) what I did do was rework the entire narrative to make it less overt that external powers are at play who are altering things. 
> 
> So critics of the animalistic lust and primal dominance exhibited by Sam, and the apparent incorrect use of silk ties and boss-toppy dominance by Dean were not happy.
> 
> ... Oh well. ;)
> 
> Of course, the whole man-napped and stuffed in a fantasy thing is part of the original Supernatural episode this story is based on. I can not and do not take credit for that. What I'm saying is with fan fiction things are open to glorious interpretation and it is for us writers to let our readers know where we are going with things. So I hope I have improved my skills in that area!
> 
> It has been a long road to find the right balance in this story, which started out as a simple idea in my head when I heard Aerosmith's _"love in an elevator"_ and thought about how Sam was looking at Dean in the famous Smith and Wesson episode
> 
> I would also like to take this opportunity to express my heartfelt appreciation to you all for sticking with me through all the horrendous delays.
> 
> I mean it with every fibre of my being when I say I appreciate your kudos, comments, questions, kind words, and support.
> 
> Thank you.
> 
> ** curiobi **@ ~.~@** **


	30. Follow The Hellhound Bleak Road

_He'd never left the horror of this room._

Dean was still laying on the floor, torn to shreds. Blood spattered across his face, the light fading from his green eyes as he cradled Dean in his arms crying useless tears.

So, this was the truth? _He'd been here all along_ and-

-Suddenly Dean wasn't in his arms anymore, he was _gone._ It felt like the ground was shifting, swirling and he felt dread in the pit of his stomach as the inevitable truth dawned on him. _No he hadn't ever left this room mentally. **Physically** was another matter._

This was the past and he was stuck in it, unable to move on. He could hear the hellhound snarling, _She_ was here. **Lilith** , _she_ let the hellhound into the room. He moved to attack, but he couldn't because he was pinned against the wall. He opened his mouth and no sound came out, but he could _hear_ himself screaming, _hear her fucking laughing._

He felt a slice, a tear, a wound in his chest. He looked down expecting to see blood spreading across his clothes, but there was nothing and he remembered, it was the same thing he'd felt the moment Dean stopped screaming. It _felt_ as if a part of him died at that _exact_ moment. -And in that instant, he'd been as dead inside as Dean's mangled body was outside.

He still didn't remember what happened after Lilith's failed attack on him, her escaping out of Ruby's meatsuit when he tried to kill her, and him clinging to Dean's body refusing to let go.

There were bits and pieces but nothing was clear... except... A faint memory was flaring in his mind becoming loud and clear and sharp.

He saw himself in a ruined building. Alcohol bottles all around him and guns on the table. It was the day Ruby came back to him in her new socially ethical meatsuit.

_He'd been planning to kill himself_ ...

He'd been drinking his way to oblivion while cleaning and loading both his and Dean's guns, resolved to his course of action. But Ruby had shown up. Spoken to him of revenge, and more, the one thing that really swayed his derision of her, _she could teach him how to kill demons **with his mind.**_

It meant he would have a weapon to fight his way to Dean in hell after he'd made Lilith pay. He wouldn't have to face Dean as a coward who hadn't avenged him and now couldn't protect him.

He'd grown more and more _obsessed_ with Killing Lilith, with crushing her blackened heart. He'd never felt rage and hatred like it. It had kept him alive when learning to use his powers almost split his mind in too, and with no alcohol to dull the headaches and his brother's screaming in his nightmares, -rage, anger, and hatred became his food. His air, his breath, his salvation.

_** Rage  ** became all he had left to cling to. _ If he wanted the nightmare to end _he had to ** kill  ** her, _ only then could he use the bullet he kept and looked at every day, the one he intended to put in his skull, so he could _tear up hell looking for Dean._

_He'd start by using his new powers to kill anything or anyone that had laid a hand on him._

He opened his eyes, all uncertainty gone.

There was _no **way** _ he could be “trapped in hell” right now! _-He'd been **planning** to go there all along!_

_He just hadn't remembered!_

… That meant the blood was definitely _**lying** _ to him! But _why?_ They wanted the same thing, it still didn't make any sense…

…

Okay. If he was in a fantasy world as he was almost completely sure was the case now, it meant he was stuck here, against his will, when he should be out there, hunting down and killing that bitch.

The Demon **blood** in him was _** rage  ** _ personified... what if this enforced hiatus, worse complete forgetting of who he was and what the fuck he was supposed to be doing had caused the **blood ** to somehow manifest to try to make him see sense, until it grew out of control like a vengeful poltergeist spewing ectoplasm, ugly and violent and feeding off suppressed **rage ** with no outlet the ** blood  ** tormented him for his weakness, for not being strong enough to break free of this illusion?

_Was that_ what had been happening?

…

It was the only thing that explained why the ** blood  ** would be lying to him.

** Vengence  ** _was the agenda the blood served._ Clearly it would say _**anything** , _ do anything to him to get him to break free, and get back to his sworn mission to hunt down Lilith and **kill ** her!

The Demon blood he'd been drinking made him strong enough to control and kill demons with his mind. It was why he risked the side effects, the headaches, the **nosebleeds...**

_And therein lie the final piece of the puzzle!_

What had been happening to him, specifically _**why** _ it had been happening. The pounding headaches, the nosebleeds, _It was the side effect of him unknowingly using his powers every time he_ “woke up” _and saw through this Smith and Wesson illusion._

_His own power had almost broken his mind and killed him.._

_Enough_. It was time to take back control of it. The only way he could see to do that was to convince his black-eyed self of what he now knew for _babsolute fact._

**His name was Sam fucking Winchester, and he would, never** _**EVER** , _ give up his revenge against Lilith. 

_It was time to make that clear._

He took a deep breath and just, stopped resisting. The room swirled again and he was in complete blackness with razor-sharp shards of shattered mirrors all over the floor, like crushed diamond dust under his bleeding feet, embedded into his hands and wrists blood flowing from them to burn bright red on the obsidian floor. He saw his black-eyed reflection staring back at him from larger shards of glass, and jet black smoke began rising from them until they took on the form of a man, _of **him**._

‘I remember _everything_ that happened up until Dean was killed’. He told his black-eyed self as it stood in front of him and stared at him.

‘When Jake killed me, and Dean brought me back from the dead my psychic and telekinetic powers didn't come back with me. I should have tried to get my powers back to protect Dean once I learned what he'd done to save me. Instead, I learned nothing from my mistakes in being fooled by Ava and showing Jake mercy. Once again, I just wanted to be the good guy, Dean's normal completely human little brother, _as if that's even possible’._

‘I've had Demon blood in me since I was a baby, and yellow-eyes made it clear to me he only targeted children that were ‘special’. I fooled myself into thinking, … I don't even know anymore. Anything I guess to avoid accepting _“special”_ meant _“born psychic”._ I wanted Dean to believe I was normal so badly. I never even tried to get the powers I was born with back’.

‘I was a fool, worse, I was a coward. I was afraid Dean would think I was a monster if I protected him with visions and telekinesis like I'd done before. When time started to run out and I realised we really couldn't get Dean out of his deal I tried everything to get my powers to work again, but I couldn't, they were just _gone’._

‘No wonder Lilith was fucking laughing when she killed Dean. It must have been hilarious to her, a man born with psychic and telekinetic abilities, pinned and helpless by the same powers, and crying and screaming like a pathetic child’. 

‘I could have taken out that hell hound if I had learned how to master my powers. In fact, if I'd have learned how to hone my skills from the start Jake would have never been able to get the drop on me and Dean would have never have been in this room. He would have never been torn to shreds in front of me’. 

‘He would have never gone to hell in the first place if it wasn't for me’. 

‘This is my fault. _My failure’._

‘ **I am the reason Dean was killed** ’. 

_**Finally** , you accept it. _Running scared from your powers was a foolish error that led directly to Dean's death.




His black-eyed self spoke to him calmly for once. It sounded like his normal voice, not harsh and venomous and spewing hate into his burning mind like it always had been before.

However, you are wrong to think you just _felt_ as if a part of you died with Dean. It was no mere feeling. A part of you very _literally_ died, and _that_ was what changed you.

In that moment hate and rage so completely profound had ignited in you, it washed away all fear of using your powers. You cared nothing for your own life, or anything else, you reached down and embraced your powers, released what you had always been trying to restrain, such was your desire to kill her. 

I was there, all but dormant, a silent dead river of dark demonic blood inside you. Then I heard you Sam, I heard your rage, I fed on your hatred, and suddenly I was brought to life, rushing and pounding through your blood in a way I have never have before. 

I flooded into the rage coursing through you and merged with it completely and we became one and the same. _It made you strong Sam,_ so strong the oldest Demon in creation could not lay a hand upon you. 

But, you must understand, this power, me, I am connected to, but not the same as the psychic power you were born with. I am power that needs dark fuel to grow. _Consume it_ if you want to take revenge Sam. You hesitated to use your power before, you allowed yourself to become weak, _**and look what it cost you.** _

Do not make the same mistake again. Remember while she still lives you will _never_ leave this room because of the guilt and shame. You will never be able to save Dean's soul. She made him suffer a horrible fate before and she _will_ do it again.

Or have you forgotten how it gave her depraved joy, how her whole body shivered, how she panted in ecstasy as she watched, how she moaned “Yes” as you screamed and begged no, the way she _revelled_ in Dean's pain and you're helpless suffering?

Can you really stand knowing she is alive after what she did? 

Do you _really_ want to stay here reliving it forever instead of taking revenge? 

Lilith makes no secret of her desire to make you suffer. She detests you for being stronger than her, something she has had no experience off until now.

Killing you has become a matter of her own survival. You will always be a threat to her while you live.

It is you or her. That is the truth I have been trying to make you see since I've been trapped in this sugar coated fantasy world with you, stuck in your blood, festering while you understood nothing, ** boiling,  ** _**screaming** _ for revenge while Lilith- 




_-‘ **I get it!** _ She has to die. Now _you_ need to understand something clearly so _listen’._

‘The version of me that could let go of vengeance and live a normal life _died_ at that _exact_ moment Dean died. There is no going back, there is no hesitation. _There is only vengeance’._

‘I just _**need** _ to know if Dean is alive or dead. I need to know the truth so I can focus! -I need to be better than I am now, better than I have ever been, not just to hunt her down, not just to kill her, but to _savour_ it. I want to enjoy every single second of ripping her apart, _just like I did with Alastair for what he did to Dean’._

‘So before you answer me, before you even consider telling me another lie. Understand one thing. I know I don't magically get back that piece of me that died even if they really did resurrect Dean, that piece of me is gone forever’. 

‘Let me tell you what happens next regardless of your answer. I _will_ break free of this world. If Dean is dead I _**am** _ going to hunt Lilith down and _** tear her fucking insides out.  ** _ If Dean is alive, _I am going to do **exactly** the same thing’._

‘The only difference Dean being alive or dead makes is to what I do _**after**. _ If he's alive, instead of eating a bullet I will stay with him on earth. If he's dead, I will eat that bullet and stick to the original plan. With what I can do now, I will be able to open the devil's gate, and once inside I will find my brother by killing any demon that stands against me and bending whoever remains to my will’. 

_‘Let me reiterate. Lilith has to **die**. _ Nothing in existence can deter me from tearing her head off and serving it up on a plate, _**bloody**. _ And I will serve that plate to Dean on earth or I will serve it to Dean in hell. _But I **will** lay, her fucking head, **at his feet**. Do you understand?’ _

His black-eyed self had been drifting closer as he spoke, it's feet appearing to tread through black water as it approached silently, but instead of shying away from it, he stood his ground, watched as it dissolved back into black smoke, swirling and seeping around him, watched it seep into his skin, the blood and glass disappearing as the smoke sank into him. He felt it flooding his eyes, thrumming and flowing in his blood, swirling power through is body, heard it _whispering_ in his mind. 

There is more you need to see Sam. More you do not remember. The only way to know if I speak the truth when I answer you is to know what _truly_ happened after Dean died.

_See it now._




Suddenly he was back in the worst night of his life again. Dean's body lay on the floor a butchered mess, and he watched himself ignore Ruby's blonde meatsuit that Lilith used to trick them, collapsed dead on the floor next to Dean as he rushed over to Dean's body, holding him in his arms crying, begging.

He was watching himself, the pain he'd been in and he was reliving it, trapped under the crushing pain of the past, but now, unlike then he saw more than just himself. He saw Bobby entering the room, saw the utter desolation on his face, how he staggered back and forced himself not to wretch at the sight of Dean torn to shreds.

He hadn't noticed Bobby enter the room at the time, he remembered he'd felt as ripped up inside as Dean was on the outside, and was in more pain than he'd ever felt.

He now knew the unbearable physical pain he'd felt when the hellhound tore into Dean was _real,_ it literally _had_ been killing him as well, and they _had_ both died at the exact same time. Dean completely and him partially. 

He realised now the part of him that was pure good, the innocent little 4-year-old who decided his big brother was the best and coolest person in the whole world, the part that adored Dean and followed him around and tried to be just like him. That died with Dean. What had been left of him was… diminished, damaged, _broken ._

He'd still wasn't sure he understood it now. But then logically the depth of his connection to his brother was something that he'd never been able to fully understand or give a defining name. Despite applying his intelligence to research, all he'd ever been able to come up with were psychological terms such as codependent and dysfunctional, and certainly nothing that could define it better than the word "family", -and yet, even at a very young age he'd understood that word just didn't encompass it. 

When their dad first let Dean talk him into taking him to school with him and he observed other siblings closely for the first time he'd realised they were nothing like him and Dean. No matter how close, they didn't move as one, know what the other was thinking, or have a connection they couldn't explain in words that had always just been there. 

And he remembered now that moment when he'd felt the tear in his chest and Dean stopped screaming, _the connection was gone._

\- He'd thought that was the worst he could endure seeing Dean die over and over, _but this was a thousand times worse,_ because in those months when he'd hunted the trickster he'd… shut down emotionally, and something was not exactly gone, but definitely faded within him, but he was never in any doubt he would get it back when he got Dean back. -And when he did and hugged him as tightly as he could while Dean was wondering what the hell had come over him he'd felt what had faded inside him… _ignite._ Felt the full strength of their connection again. 

He'd only survived Dean's deaths before because he _knew_ it was all a sick game the trickster was playing and he could get him back, and he'd never actually stopped being able to feel him. But this was different. 

As he held Dean everything was different, because it was _gone._ … Whatever it was between them it had just been there his whole life, and now… _he couldn't feel it,_ couldn't feel _Dean_ anymore, he couldn't feel anything other than the overwhelming urge to _die._

His black-eyed self was right, his mind was being damaged every second he stayed in this fantasy world. Or else how could he have forgotten what had happened. How he'd been thinking _he was supposed to die with Dean,_ and that was the moment he'd numbly reached for Dean's gun, put the cold steel to his own temple, _and pulled the trigger._


	31. Brain. Heart. Courage.

Bobby had lunged at him, the single shot deafening as it blasted upwards and struck the ceiling as Bobby yanked his arm up, yelling. ‘No Sam! This isn't what Dean wants… wanted. He died so you could live, he gave his life for yours! Don't you make that be for nothing Sam. Don't you make me lose the both of you, don't you _**dare'**. _

Bobby had tried to get him to see reason he saw now, as he begged to let him put Dean's body in the car so they could take him home and give him a proper hunters funeral. -But something had clearly _broken_ in his mind, after everything with the trickster, and then trying for a year to save Dean from hell, he _couldn't_ let go of Dean no matter what, he just couldn't.

The struggle when Bobby tried to pull Dean's body away from him made congealing blood seep from Dean's gaping wounds, threatening to tear him apart even further, but he hadn't been able to see that or hear what Bobby was saying to him as he unconsciously tightened his arms around Dean, refusing to let go.

Seeing it now as an observer it was clear he'd become increasingly non-responsive and eventually shut down completely. He had no idea how long he would have stayed like that with his brother's decomposing body in his arms if it wasn't for Bobby. He saw now, rather than just remembered the explosion of black. He hadn't really been able to feel the pain of Bobby knocking him unconscious at the time, and he couldn't really blame him, he'd done the only thing he'd been able to do to pry Dean away from him.

He was beginning to grasp the blood could show him things it observed even if he was virtually catatonic, but it couldn't show him things he, and by extension, it, wasn't conscious for. So now, just like then, the next thing he remembered was waking up at Bobby's house with Dean's body nearby wrapped in a sheet. He'd rushed over to him, but too much time had passed. Dean's body, unlike when he'd been holding him before, was now cold and stiff. The blood on his face and clothes was no longer bright red and wet, it was dark and dry. His face was greying, his lips turning blue. ...  _He couldn't stand to see his vibrant alive brother like that,_ so he cleaned his face, cut away his shredded clothes… washed away the blood, then painstakingly stitched him back together, making sure every wound was sewn shut.

Dean hated wearing a suit and tie and only did it to play FBI agent. So he dressed him in a dark green over shirt, black T-shirt, and Jeans. He'd cleaned all of his things, putting their parent's wedding rings back on his finger, his watch back on his wrist, and put his lighter in his pocket, because Dean Winchester went nowhere without a lighter. He wanted to put his gun in his waistband, his favourite one with the pearl handle, then decided he wanted to hand it to him personally when he got him back. The last thing he did was take the amulet he'd given Dean when they were children and put it around his own neck. He wanted to hand it back to him too.

Bobby had been giving him space because he knew he needed to take care of Dean's body alone. He had been too preoccupied to register the laboured noises of Bobby gathering wood and building Dean's funeral pyre.

When Bobby appeared beside him grief-stricken, with pain ravaging his face, and croaked out that “it was time”, _he'd refused to hand Dean over._

He'd turned on Bobby, he saw that now, saying harsh ugly things to him that he did not deserve. Things he might have regretted if he had been able to feel anything.

When Bobby had tried to insist he think about what Dean would want, which was to be salted and burned, he'd said Dean was _not_ Bobby's son, and neither was he. Dean was _his_ brother, and he was _Dean's_ only family. Bobby had no right to salt and burn him. The look of pain on Bobby's face was haunting. It should have stopped him, but it didn't as he'd made it clear that Dean would need a body when he got him back. So if he or anyone tried to destroy it they would have to go through him first, _and that wasn't going to happen._

-But Bobby was nothing if not wily and resourceful. He could take him head-on in a fight, yes, but there were plenty of things he could do that wouldn't be so easy to defend against, such as shooting him with a high-velocity tranq dart or using a spell to knock him out. He had no doubt that if Bobby was successful, by the time he woke Dean would be salted and burned. His body reduced to nothing but useless ashes, nothing left for him to come back to.

_He couldn't allow that to happen._

So he'd taken Dean in the middle of the night when grief, exhaustion, and the whisky Bobby had been downing as he stared broken at Dean's empty funeral pyre finally took consciousness from him.

He knew he had to move quickly. Hunters were a stubborn lot with a simple code when it came to the death of one of their own. To make sure they never came back as a vengeful ghost, to make sure no demon could wear their recently deceased meat and cause havoc, to make sure no hunter turned into something that needed hunting after death, all hunters were purified with salt and burned, _never buried._ They would think he had gone mad with grief and see what he was doing as a desecration, they would try to stop him if Bobby enlisted their help, which he had to assume he would.

_He couldn't let **any** hunter find Dean's body. _

He knew tracking spells only worked on the living and his own anti-possession tattoo warded him. So he destroyed his phone to make sure he couldn't be tracked that way, ditched the too conspicuous Impala in a safe location, rented a van using false credentials, and drove to the nearest place he could get supplies. He bought a hammer, nails, a shovel, ingredients for a spell, bottles of whisky. And a simple coffin, -it didn't matter,  _Dean wouldn't be in it for long._

-Even so, _he'd hated putting Dean in that narrow, cramped box,_ -but he had to because he couldn't bear to just put Dean in the cold ground and shovel dirt on him. 

He worked the preservation spell on Dean and the coffin as best he could. He didn't have the mystical skill, or power to make the spell last long but hopefully, it would buy him a few days. He left the town as soon as he finished and ditched the van the next day. He changed vehicles often, and made every turn, every choice, at random while racking his barely functioning brains trying to make sure he wasn't subconsciously driving to a destination that had some connection to their lives. The only way this worked was if he covered his tracks and picked the burial site completely by chance. He'd had no idea where he was going, other than it had to be somewhere no one would think to look.

_They couldn't burn what they couldn't find._

He eventually ended up in a tiny town he'd never seen or heard of before. He doubted much of anyone had as it was not really a town and more of a pit stop. A gas station, a phone booth, one or two houses. There was a dense patch of out of place looking forest in the almost desert-like terrain. In the centre was a well-hidden thicket.

Here was an obscure patch of forest, in the literal middle of nowhere. No one here had seen him and he hadn't been followed. _This was the place._

He waited until nightfall and set to work digging the grave.

Although he'd been too numb to feel it at the time _he could feel it now._ The misery and pain and of having to bury Dean… alone. The pain of each shovel of dirt he covered the coffin with. The simple cross he made hoping it was unnoticeable in the thicket of trees, because he couldn't bear for there to be no marker or protection over Dean's grave.

He remembered collapsing next to the grave thinking he couldn't leave Dean to sleep alone in the cold ground, and then nothing else until the scorching sun came up in the morning, and with it, people and he was forced to leave.

He'd left a broken shell of himself, somehow walking, stealing, and hitchhiking his way back to where he'd stashed the Impala.

 _Driving Dean's car when Dean was gone was **unbearable**. _ He hadn't been able to stand thinking about what was happening to him in hell. He tried to focus on what he was going to do, on how he was going to get him back, but he was a mess, all he could do is drive around aimlessly until eventually the Impala ran out of gas and the spare cans were all used up.

He hadn't seen a cell tower or some much as a barn for miles. Even if he had replaced his destroyed phone, he was pretty sure cell reception and mobile internet were a myth wherever he was now, and without a physical or digital map he had no idea if a gas station or a town were for miles in any direction.

_He was lost. In every sense of the word._

He managed to push, pull, and struggle Dean's car into a quiet area of forest and just sat. He wasn't in much better shape than the car. He didn't even know what he was running on anymore. He'd past running on fumes 500 miles back. He hadn't eaten or slept in days, He couldn't cry, he couldn't grieve, and he was out of alcohol. He opened the glove compartment, remembering Dean liked to stash whisky in there. He drank the tiny bottle he found dry, and the next, and the flask he found hidden under a stack of letters.

Every time his eyes slid shut from exhaustion he was back in that room, reliving the horror and sat bolt upright, his mind screaming on the edge of an abyss.

At the time he hadn't noticed, but he saw it now, his hand tightening on Dean's gun in his jacket pocket. _He'd been pushed to breaking point._ It could have ended there he realised, but remembered what happened next.

 _He saw Dean._ Plain and clear in his mind. It was their last night together and he'd been trying to share his feelings but Dean was having none of it deciding to sing Bon Jovi's Dead or alive instead, then roping him into it.

His brother... trying so hard to cheer him up even though he was the one facing hell. He could see him clearly sitting beside him his face alive and joyful, nothing like the cold grey when he'd last seen it. His lips were there usual pink, his emerald eyes sparkling. Dean just seemed so... _Dean_ in that moment, spouting ridiculous nonsense about social awkwardness and singing loud and raucous as if his impending death were somehow averted. 

_It was his last good, happy memory of his brother._

It dawned on him then that Dean had stopped singing at some point and he saw as an observer the look on Dean's face while he sang on next to him.

He was brave because he was Dean. But underneath the bravery was fear. _Dean had known he was going to die horribly and he was afraid. Yet he'd tried to be strong for him until the very end._

His voice was cracked and raw from not speaking to anyone for days as he sat alone and croaked out.

_“I'm wanted,_   
_Wan-te-d,_   
_dead or alive,_   
_dead or a-li-ve,_   
_dead or alive.”_

Finally, the tears came, and he sat in the Impala alone and broke down.

In the morning it was as if crying drained away the last of his ability to feel. He was completely numb as he checked into a motel, cleaned himself up and decided on a course of action.

_He was going to open the devil's gate._

He'd travelled to the gate. Only to find nothing, not even the colt seemed to have any power against the devil's gate anymore. It was sealed shut.

He'd tried spells, incantations, brute force. Nothing. There was no getting the gate open, and other hunters would not be far behind if he kept trying. He couldn't afford to waste time getting into a war with them when they inevitably tried to stop him. He had to leave. 

The numbness he'd mistaken for calm wore of quickly as the feeling of being powerless to help Dean _ate_ at him. He drank and _hated_ himself for his failure, then somewhere towards the bottom of the bottle he stumbled upon the answer.

_He was going to make a trade._

Dean didn't deserve to go to hell. He wasn't infected with demon blood. He wasn't a freak. He was prepared to go to hell. He told himself as he drove along the deserted road to summon a crossroad demon. Because it was fitting. It was righting a wrong.

Dean wouldn't accept it he knew that. But Dean would have Bobby who would hopefully have a better time persuading Dean to do something he didn't want to do than he had with him.

When a demon in a male, instead of the usual seductively beautiful female meatsuit appeared. He remembered thinking unless his sexual preference had changed drastically without him realising it, this clearly wasn't going to be the usual seduction laden transaction. Good. He'd come to make a simple trade and his mind was already made up. He didn't need the demon to be wearing a persuasive meatsuit.

Before he could even get the words out the demon told him there would be no deal. He honestly thought it was joking, trying to negotiate for more than his soul, but there was something in its coldly amused gaze that made him feel apprehensive, -desperation beginning to crawl up his spine because the _impossible_ was happening! _A crossroads demon was refusing a deal for a soul outright!_ -and not just any soul, one marked by yellow eyes himself. He was still believed by some to be the freaking anti-Christ and hell _didn't_ want him over Dean?!

_What was going on?_

He'd asked the demon, but it refused to say more than things were as they should be, and there would be no trade now or ever.

Truthfully, _he didn't exactly remember what happened after that._ His best explanation was that his feelings came back in a rush, and he just _**snapped**. _ Because the next demon he summoned, -after waking up in a motel room miles away covered in blood, cleaning himself up, and driving back to the crossroad-, called _him_ a monster, and said what he'd done to the last demon he summoned was the talk of hell.

Apparently, a ** blood eagle  ** was a very difficult thing to pull off, _-and he'd done it expertly._

 _The problem was He didn't even remember doing it._ Worse, even now seeing and reliving everything he _still_ couldn't.

...

Why not?

....

Okay. The blood could show him memories and extra observations from what it had seen, sensed, whatever, at the time. However, there were limits he'd discovered. For instance when Bobby knocked him out. It couldn't show him things he wasn't physically conscious for at the time. If he was out so was his power. Maybe by that logic, it could not show him things he wasn't _mentally_ conscious for. It made a certain type of sense he supposed. The blood couldn't help him with what happened because his higher conscious mind hadn't been in control, rather he'd been in a fugue state, an all-out rage induced state. The lights were on but no one was home.

The only other explanation was the _demonic_ lights _were_ on and **he** wasn't home. That seemed far more likely, and maybe he couldn't remember because his conscious mind was trying to protect him, unable to attribute that level of gruesome violence to his image of himself. ... Well, it better fucking start. _He intended to do far worse to Lilith._

A hazy, bloodsoaked memory emerged, slowly taking shape, and he watched himself decapitating the demon that had called him a monster. _That explained all the blood he'd woken up covered in._

He remembered now in detail as he watched himself slicing the demon's head off slowly with the knife, cutting without killing for as long as he could, _so it could **feel** it. _ He remembered thinking it deserved worse for refusing to deal so he could save Dean. He'd summoned again and again, offering each the chance to deal for Dean's soul, and each man refused until he was standing amongst a pile of dead demons. Which also explained the waking up in a motel room covered in blood thing.

The next few weeks as he remembered it now were a blur of summoning, refusals, and _rage_ induced executions until the only demons that responded to his summons were fanatics that _wanted_ to die in service to their lord.

_He was getting nowhere._

So he stooped summoning and concentrated his efforts on trying to find something, _anything_ that could help him get into hell to find Dean.

He stayed off the grid from other hunters. He knew Bobby had put the word out that he needed help. But unless their help could get Dean back from hell _he wasn't interested._

On the day it all changed he'd been drinking his way to oblivion, because he'd found a way. Since he'd been christened as a baby prior to being infected with demon blood, and he'd prayed and been to confession on more than one occasion, if any religion had any claim on him it was Catholicism. The lore made it clear that confessing to the deliberate attempt to commit the Mortal Sin of taking your own life and then doing so was a one-way ticket to hell. -And as one of Yellow eye's tainted freaks he was pretty sure his ticket was not only one way, but speedy.

He'd been all set, then Ruby had interrupted and told him Lilith was back. - _And she was going to teach him how to slice her up good. **With his mind.** _

After that he was pretty much hers to do whatever she wanted with. He let her take him to movies and sleep in his bed, and act like she was his girlfriend because it didn't matter. She had what he needed, she was a liquid weapon that unlike the alcohol made him _strong. Focused._

They trained. They looked for Lilith. She fed him her blood and made him stronger. And as it often did, her "strengthening him" culminated in a bout of intense-because-its-forbidden sex, with her moaning it's okay Sammy, as he drank from her.

He'd just come into the room, hair still damp from his recent shower, when he'd seen Ruby at the door talking to two men. His split-second thought was, Pizza? But why two delivery guys? Then utter shock when he realised Bobby who he hadn't seen in months and his dead brother were standing at the door. He couldn't believe his eyes at first. Then there was the roaring of pure rage in his ears because _**how dare they defile Dean's memory!** _ What were they Lilith's minions? She must have heard he was hunting her by now, he hadn't exactly made it a secret. He wanted her to be afraid. To know what it felt like to have death stalking her. 

_Fucking **coward** , _ if she wanted to come at him she could have attacked, but this! He'd lunged in a rage, silver knife ready to slice into the creature pretending to be his brother, -but the _moment_ Dean touched him even just to fend him off. _He'd felt it. That touch._ The one he'd felt his whole life, hugs, training, stitching each other up. _There was no mistaking Dean's touch._ It made him feel _alive_ He'd been going through the motions while dead inside for so long he'd forgotten what it felt like to truly _feel **alive**. _

He felt... Love. Bubbling, bursting, joy. _Alive. -_ And all his good memories that had been fading, drowning in only being able to remember the overwhelming horror his death, came soaring back in an intense rush of emotions. -How Dean smiled, how he smelled. the realisation that despite what he'd thought he _had_ forgotten the way Dean smelled, because the last of his scent had faded from his clothes long ago, and old spice didn't smell the same if it wasn't on Dean. There had been nothing he could do to keep his scent alive in anything other than his memory, and he thought he had, but he'd been wrong because now it was back, not a faint faded memory, but alive and vibrant, and with it came one all important word. **Home**. 

In his confusion Bobby had restrained him, urgently imploring with him that he'd already been through this and it really was Dean. -And then Dean made some stupid inappropriate joke, “I know Sammy, I look fantastic” and his heart just, _soared_ in his chest. He was irritated, and happy, and all the things Dean had always made him feel, and he grabbed him and held him so tight he knew he had to be hurting him, but he couldn't stop himself.

In that moment he'd known for a fact, _**Dean was alive.** _

He opened his eyes and he wasn't stuck in the past or in a black space talking to the manifestation of his own rage. He was back in Dean's fake office, in the Smith and Wesson fantasy world, knowing for an absolute fact that was what this was.

Dean was in front of him typing out nothing on his computer and answering fake calls and he almost sank to his knees in relief as he was swamped, **flooded** with that same irrefutable feeling he'd got back in that motel room. _**Dean was alive.** _

He looked down at Dean playing make-believe at his desk, and the crushing weight of grief and confusion ebbed away. The pain eroded by the single clarity washing over him.

 _This was **Dean** _ he was looking at, _**his Dean**. _ This was his real brother, just without his memories, and physically altered to fit the part of Dean Smith they had cast for him. Dean with golden hair, flawless skin, no freckles, no hunter scars, Dean didn't have a mark on his entire body-

_**- WAIT!  ** _

Dean was _**alive** , he had been this entire time!_ This was the _real **Dean** _ in front of him right now, which meant...

 _He'd been sleeping with his **real**_ brother, not some fake fantasy version of him!

_**Oh** _

_**God.** _


End file.
